EduBawts Gawn Wyld-uh

Yawp...the spirit of the Three Stooges is alive and well, and apparently loose in Botland.

I receive a lot of email for furtherance of education. Some of it might even be legit.

But one I just got, kinda tipped the lid off of my cyncism reservoir, and caused a flash flood wall of cynical to rage down the canyons of my credulity.

You read it, and see what you think. And yes, the following is brung to you just as it was cyber brung to me -- uncut and unedited (other than the phone number):

From: Levi byqyzehhiz@bolessmyth.com
Subj: uniavesityb diplobma (cyncism reservoir flood *buzzzer* already sounding)

Exacly what A GRET IDEA!

Call us by phone (a number with a Delaware area code; yeah, the place where it's the fauxwitch vs the flaming Commie for Senate).

We give a aproach that make it easy for any one with suffcent work experence to recieve a total verifable universty Degree, bachlors, Master or even Doctorat.

Think of whitin four to six days you could be a universty grad. Lot of individal share the same disapoint, they are doing work of the person wich has degree and person who has qualifcation is obtaining all the bucks.

Don't you consider it time you is paid out reasonble payment for level work you doing?

Take oppotunity to generate right move and acguire you due reward. if you more qualify using you knowlege, are missing that peice of document a diplomba that often the passport to succed. Get touch with US soon as spooble and give you work experence the change to ear you higher compensaton you deserve!

Call any time!

In the wake of the devastation that the wall of cynical reservoir water left in my credulity canyon -- tempered by the fact that it's a pretty barren place -- I was momentarily speechless.

It's hard to talk when I just spewed coffee out my nose.

Some moments of recovery later, I dun a wee bit of online research about the number, and found information suggesting that it was, at best, a source of online spamming; at worst, a phishing/ID theft operation. After sending an inquiry off to the State of Delaware's BBB, I found myself in the throes of (de)composition, to an email that tugged at my pant cuff and literally begged for response:

Dear Levi and uniavesityb diplobmans,

Thank you for this kind offer. What kind is still being genetically researched, though the antecedence isn't looking promising, even with a tax cut.

I see by your diction, that you are in Delaware. Joe Biden's from there, so the uncontrolled vowel movements and other cruciverbal faux pas are easily explained. I get that.

I would probably find some curious amusement in having, stuffed and mounted upon my wall, some of your fauxtificates of diplobmas, based not on my academic credentials, but my life experience ones. A Bachlor's Degree in Bachelordom would be nice, albeit redundant: I know I'm a bachelor, and need no stinkin' degree to authenticate it. A Masters in WayWard Storm Chasing would be dubiously prestigious, but I think my photos and anecdotes speak well in and of themselves, asto the (lack of) mastery I have achieved there. A Doctorat in Scambaiting would be a nice conversation piece, but of no comfort to the legions of ethically dysfunctional I have thus baited and infuriated in the past decade.

However, allow me to be of some small, signal service to you: for an online.org that wishes to advertise, market and spam diplobmas, may I make this sincerely-offered, heart-felt suggestion? One meant not to diminish your self-esteem, but to enhance it?

FIRE THE IDIOTS RUNNING YOUR LIBTARD, DUMBED-DOWN EDUCATION IN DELAWARE, AND GET A WORKING SPELLCHECK PROGRAM, YOU ILL-SYNTAXED JACKASSES!

Go ahead, admit it: you feel better about yourselves already, doncha?

Sincerely...really...HONEST,
Ben Dover
Recipient of your spamological mutilated marketing missive

Of no great surprise, I am still awaiting a response (from anyone). I reckon they can't read a single correctly-spelled word I writ 'em.

So much for their diplobma.