Sea Screws

Scammers must love something about Australian cruise lines for making their scam templates from.  It seems that just about all the cruise line job scams I get come from cruise lines out of Australia.

I reckon Barbie's pretty over having shrimp thrown on her down there, after dumping gender neutral Ken.

At any rate, here's yet another attempt by scammers to use an Australian cruise line as bait for their scam:

AZAMARA CLUB CRUISE LINE

PO Box 157 Walker Street,

Level 12,

North Sydney, NSW 2060

Australia

(You’ll love where we take you)

Fax: 612 8904 0888

http:// www.azamaracruises.com

Email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com

 

Employment Notice

 

Azamara Club Cruise Australia Recruitment urgently needs the services of devoted and hardworking people who are ready to work in France after undergoing enlistment training in France.

Qualified applicant should contact us immediately for job placement.

The management intends to increase its manpower base due to new ships and increasing number of customers in our Cruise Linear.

The total recruitments will be 175 applicants.

 

THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS:

Accountant	Food and Beverage Staff	Computer Specialist
Musician	Administrative Assistant	Lecturer
Activities Director	Restaurant Staff	Reservation Staff
Disc Jockey	Gift Shop Staff	Cruise Staff
Activities Staff	Reservation Staff	Massage Therapist
Cleaner	Child Care Worker	Medical Staff (Doctor / Nurse)
Security	Waitress	Beautician / Aesthetician
Engineering	Hostess	Singer
Photographer	Guest Speaker	Housekeeping
Engine Room Staff	Dancer	Bartender
Bar Staff	Dance Instructor	Comedian
Production Manger	Public Relation Staff	Guest Service Officer

THERE ARE OTHER AVAILABLE POSITIONS WHICH ARE NOT LISTED.
 

THE MANAGEMENT WILL SECURE A VISA/WORKING PERMIT FOR ANY QUALIFIED PERSON. VISA FEE, ACCOMMODATION & FLIGHT TICKET WILL BE PAID BY THE COMPANY.

 

Join us on board for the career journey of your life; interested applicants should forward their CV/RESUME via email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com   in the email subject line write the POSITION you are applying for and your NAME and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN/RESIDENT for fast processing of application.

 

Its Azamara Club Cruise Australia policy never discriminates against any employee or applicant for employment because of; “RACE, COLOR, RELIGION, SEX, NATIONAL ORIGIN, AGE, DISABILITY, MARITAL OR VETERAN STATUS’’

 

Regards,

Management

Azamara Club Cruise Australia  

 

 

And it's so convincing, too.

 

Let's see how my edit compares:

 

 

AZAMARA CLUB NIGHTMARE CRUISE LINE PO Box 157 Walker Street, Level 12, North Sydney, NSW 2060 Australia (You’ll love where we take you from by the time we're done) Fax: 612 8904 0888   Email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com   Employment Notice   Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia Recruitment urgently needs the services of people devoid of sense and reason who are ready to be used and abused enroute to and while in France after undergoing pre-employment rectal scans invasive beyond all belief. Qualified applicant should run screaming from this website. The management intends to increase its manpower base due to islamofascist attacks, Somali pirates, storms, mayhem and mishaps and other assorted sh*t on the high seas. The total recruitments will be 175 applicants.   THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS: Accountant (don't everyone has one?) Shark Food Chum Staff Computer Effects Specialist Musician Administrative Assistant Twat Waffle Pre-Sinking Activities Director Douche Nozzle Staff Reservation About Going Staff Disc Jockey Gift Shop Staff Douche Canoe Staff Pre-Sinking Activities Staff Staph 'n strep Massage Therapist Cleaner Fryer Medical Staff (Doctor / Nurse/whole fucking hospital) Security    Waitress Beautician / Aesthetician/Delusionician Engineering Hostess Twinkie or Ding Dong Singer Swinger Dinger Photographer for later court cases Guest shark bait Keeping Houses from falling on ship if sailing in Kansas Engine Room Staff Dancer, Prancer, Donut or Blintz Bartender Bar Stiffener Sinking Instructor Comedian to entertain whilst we sink Post Sinking Production Manager Pubic Relation Staff Guest Service Staff handing out life preservers and sea sick pills THERE ARE OTHER AVAILABLE POSITIONS WHICH ARE NOT LISTED AND WITH F**KING GOOD REASON.   THE MANAGEMENT WILL SECURE A 72 HOUR MENTAL HEALTH EVALUATION FOR ANY QUALIFIED PERSON. VISA FEE, ACCOMMODATION & FLIGHT TICKET WILL BE PAID BY THE COMPANY.   Join us on board for the clusterf**k of a journey of your life; after reading this if still interested, such as described idiot applicants should forward their CV/RESUME via email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com   in the email subject line write the POSITION you are applying for and your NAME and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN/RESIDENT for immediate laughter on the part of our operators who are sitting by to receive this sh*t.   Its Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia policy discriminates against any employee or applicant for employment because of having read and really -- and we do mean REALLY -- having understood how full of sh*t this document is.  We don't discriminate against dumbasses; we'll scam all of those we can get.     Regards, Management Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia

I didn't get any replies from the cruisers.  Nor, so far, from the hundred or so scammers I forwarded this email to. Perhaps they weren't all that interested in a sea screw.

 

 

The Love Boat It Ain't

Another steamship that finds itself in a fine pickle.

*Ducking boos and throwd condiment packets*

I always enjoy getting unsolicited job offers in emails, especially on email accounts made up for fictitious people that scambait scammers.

Like this one:

Carnival Cruise Line Australia

PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059

Australia 

Website:  http://www.carnival.com.au/

Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com

 The Carnival Cruises Australia intends to increase its manpower base due to new ships and increasing number of customers in our Cruise Linear Australia.

The total recruitments will be 1,570 applicants. Minimum Age requirements is 18-years and above.

 

NOTE THE FOLLOWING:

Type:                          Full-Time / Part-Time
Base Pay:                   $ 35,000 - $ 375,000 / Year

Type of work:            Permanent / Temporary

Contract Period:       3 Months - 4 years

V-Type:                       1-4 (One-Four) Years Working permit

 

THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS:

Accountant	Food and Beverage Staff	Computer Specialist
Musician	Administration	Lecturer
Activities Director	Restaurant Staff	Reservation Staff
Disc Jockey	Gift Shop Staff	Cruise Staff
Activities Staff	Reservation Staff	Massage Therapist
Cleaner	Child Care Worker	Medical Staff (Doctor / Nurse)
Security	Waitress	Beautician / Aesthetician
Engineering	Hostess	Singer
Photographer	Guest Speaker	Housekeeping
Engine Room Staff	Dancer	Bartender
Bar Staff	Dance Instructor	Comedian
Production Manger	Public Relation Staff	Guest Service Officer

 

There are over 350 positions that are available which were not listed

 

We'll offer you Air Ticket, Accommodation, Medication, Feeding and other relevant services as attractive salary awaits you

 

To apply for one of the following job openings we need the following from you:  

1. Cover letter (1 page maximum) / Curriculum Vitae (Resume).

2. Certificate and reference letters (if any)

3. Available date and Position Applying for.

4. International Passport or National ID Card copy / Resident

           

Please Email your CV / Resume to back via Mrs Elaine Quentin McInerney  Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com

 

Management

Carnival Cruises Australia  

 

 

This one fairly shrieks for an edit.  I might disappoint the readers, but not the shrieks: 

 

From: capts.hakan15@daum.net
To: capts.hakan15@daum.net
Subject: PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2016 20:00:39 +0900

Carnivore Cruise Line Australia PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059 Australia  Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com   The Carnivore Cruises Australia intends to increase its maneater base due to new ships and increasing number of customers needing to be consumed in our Culinary Linear Australia. The total hors d'oeuvres unbeknowists will be 1,570 assorted appetizers.  Must be able to be basted, sautéed, grilled.   NOTE THE FOLLOWING: Type:                          Full-Consumption / Part-Consumption  Basted, Sautéed or Grilled Type of work:            Culinary Menu Period:       3 Months - 4 years    THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE MENU ITEMS SOUGHT: Appetizer Intern Food  Cookie Specialist Metamucil Alka Seltzer Finger Licking Good Fast Food Restaurant Servable Reservation worthy Drumstick Dessert Crunchy Giblet Stuffable Malt Hors D'oeuvre Kneadable Medicinal Brandy Succotash    Waitress-carriable Tuber Egg plant Hostess Cupcake Can Sing While Consumed Pheasant Ala Stuffed Guest Appetizer Edible Underwear Roughage Venison substitute Bar worthy Bar Lighting Enhanced Cordon Bleu Consummedian Self Caterer Pubic Relation Willing To Be Made Into Anything   There are over 350 additional menu items that are available which were not listed   We'll offer you Reynolds Wrap   To apply for one of the following menu openings we need the following from you:   1. Cover letter (1 page maximum) / Culinary flexibility. 2. Reference letters from those who find you edible (if any) 3. Available date and menu item Applying for. 4. International House of Pancakes receipt             Please Email your CV / Resume to back via Fine Young Cannibal Head Chefette Mrs Elaine Quentin McInerney  Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com   Mismanagement Carnivore Cruises Australia

It took a few days, but a less than satisfied response was received from the scammer(s) that suggests that they has sensitive feelings and probably no connection to Australian Cruises:

jaancarlos ramos     f**k you there and your mother                 

                                                                                   
                       

LMAO...awwwww, did the poor widdow scammer get his feewings hurt by being exposed?  Awwwwww.  I'll add this to the post....the readers will love it.  You may return to your 4 year old snit now.

f**k off
                
Needless to say, I didn't get hired as we were unable to agree on 'terms'.   My pet rock, Seymour, did get offered a job as ballast.

 

"Did NOT!!!  PHFFFFFT!!!"