Wednesday, April 13, 2016

The Love Boat It Ain't

Another steamship that finds itself in a fine pickle.

*Ducking boos and throwd condiment packets*

I always enjoy getting unsolicited job offers in emails, especially on email accounts made up for fictitious people that scambait scammers.

Like this one:

Carnival Cruise Line Australia

PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059

Australia 

Website:  http://www.carnival.com.au/
Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com

 The Carnival Cruises Australia intends to increase its manpower base due to new ships and increasing number of customers in our Cruise Linear Australia.

The total recruitments will be 1,570 applicants. Minimum Age requirements is 18-years and above.

 
NOTE THE FOLLOWING:
Type:                          Full-Time / Part-Time
Base Pay:                   $ 35,000 - $ 375,000 / Year
Type of work:            Permanent / Temporary
Contract Period:       3 Months - 4 years
V-Type:                       1-4 (One-Four) Years Working permit
 
THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
AccountantFood and Beverage StaffComputer Specialist
MusicianAdministrationLecturer
Activities DirectorRestaurant StaffReservation Staff
Disc JockeyGift Shop StaffCruise Staff
Activities StaffReservation StaffMassage Therapist
CleanerChild Care WorkerMedical Staff (Doctor / Nurse)
Security   WaitressBeautician / Aesthetician
EngineeringHostessSinger
PhotographerGuest SpeakerHousekeeping
Engine Room StaffDancerBartender
Bar StaffDance InstructorComedian
Production MangerPublic Relation StaffGuest Service Officer
 
There are over 350 positions that are available which were not listed
 
We'll offer you Air Ticket, Accommodation, Medication, Feeding and other relevant services as attractive salary awaits you
 
To apply for one of the following job openings we need the following from you:  
1. Cover letter (1 page maximum) / Curriculum Vitae (Resume).
2. Certificate and reference letters (if any)
3. Available date and Position Applying for.
4. International Passport or National ID Card copy / Resident
           
Please Email your CV / Resume to back via Mrs Elaine Quentin McInerney  Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com

 
Management
 
 
This one fairly shrieks for an edit.  I might disappoint the readers, but not the shrieks: 
 

From: capts.hakan15@daum.net
To: capts.hakan15@daum.net
Subject: PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059
Date: Tue, 8 Mar 2016 20:00:39 +0900

PO Box 2006 North Sydney NSW 2059
Australia 
Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com
 
The Carnivore Cruises Australia intends to increase its maneater base due to new ships and increasing number of customers needing to be consumed in our Culinary Linear Australia.
The total hors d'oeuvres unbeknowists will be 1,570 assorted appetizers.  Must be able to be basted, sautéed, grilled.
 
NOTE THE FOLLOWING:
Type:                          Full-Consumption / Part-Consumption 
Basted, Sautéed or Grilled
Type of work:            Culinary
Menu Period:       3 Months - 4 years
  
THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE MENU ITEMS SOUGHT:
Appetizer InternFood Cookie Specialist
MetamucilAlka SeltzerFinger Licking Good
Fast FoodRestaurant ServableReservation worthy
DrumstickDessertCrunchy
GibletStuffableMalt
Hors D'oeuvreKneadableMedicinal Brandy
Succotash   Waitress-carriableTuber
Egg plantHostess CupcakeCan Sing While Consumed
Pheasant Ala StuffedGuest AppetizerEdible Underwear
RoughageVenison substituteBar worthy
Bar Lighting EnhancedCordon BleuConsummedian
Self CatererPubic Relation Willing To Be Made Into Anything
 
There are over 350 additional menu items that are available which were not listed
 
We'll offer you Reynolds Wrap
 
To apply for one of the following menu openings we need the following from you:  
1. Cover letter (1 page maximum) / Culinary flexibility.
2. Reference letters from those who find you edible (if any)
3. Available date and menu item Applying for.
4. International House of Pancakes receipt
           
Please Email your CV / Resume to back via Fine Young Cannibal Head Chefette Mrs Elaine Quentin McInerney  Email: Carnivalcruisesline@anaustralian.com

 
Mismanagement
 
 
It took a few days, but a less than satisfied response was received from the scammer(s) that suggests that they has sensitive feelings and probably no connection to Australian Cruises:

jaancarlos ramos     f**k you there and your mother                 
                                                                                   
                       
LMAO...awwwww, did the poor widdow scammer get his feewings hurt by being exposed?  Awwwwww.  I'll add this to the post....the readers will love it.  You may return to your 4 year old snit now.
f**k off
                
Needless to say, I didn't get hired as we were unable to agree on 'terms'.   My pet rock, Seymour, did get offered a job as ballast.
 

"Did NOT!!!  PHFFFFFT!!!"

 

 

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Well they didn't need to bring your mother into this. Bwahahahahahaha. What a piece of dodo.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour. ☺

13 April, 2016 11:37  

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