Sunday, August 20, 2017

Sea Screws

Scammers must love something about Australian cruise lines for making their scam templates from.  It seems that just about all the cruise line job scams I get come from cruise lines out of Australia.

I reckon Barbie's pretty over having shrimp thrown on her down there, after dumping gender neutral Ken.

At any rate, here's yet another attempt by scammers to use an Australian cruise line as bait for their scam:


AZAMARA CLUB CRUISE LINE
PO Box 157 Walker Street,
Level 12,
North Sydney, NSW 2060
Australia
(You’ll love where we take you)
Email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com
 
Employment Notice
 
Azamara Club Cruise Australia Recruitment urgently needs the services of devoted and hardworking people who are ready to work in France after undergoing enlistment training in France.
Qualified applicant should contact us immediately for job placement.
The management intends to increase its manpower base due to new ships and increasing number of customers in our Cruise Linear.
The total recruitments will be 175 applicants.
 
THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
Accountant
Food and Beverage Staff
Computer Specialist
Musician
Administrative Assistant
Lecturer
Activities Director
Restaurant Staff
Reservation Staff
Disc Jockey
Gift Shop Staff
Cruise Staff
Activities Staff
Reservation Staff
Massage Therapist
Cleaner
Child Care Worker
Medical Staff (Doctor / Nurse)
Security   
Waitress
Beautician / Aesthetician
Engineering
Hostess
Singer
Photographer
Guest Speaker
Housekeeping
Engine Room Staff
Dancer
Bartender
Bar Staff
Dance Instructor
Comedian
Production Manger
Public Relation Staff
Guest Service Officer
THERE ARE OTHER AVAILABLE POSITIONS WHICH ARE NOT LISTED.
 
THE MANAGEMENT WILL SECURE A VISA/WORKING PERMIT FOR ANY QUALIFIED PERSON. VISA FEE, ACCOMMODATION & FLIGHT TICKET WILL BE PAID BY THE COMPANY.
 
Join us on board for the career journey of your life; interested applicants should forward their CV/RESUME via email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com   in the email subject line write the POSITION you are applying for and your NAME and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN/RESIDENT for fast processing of application.
 
Its Azamara Club Cruise Australia policy never discriminates against any employee or applicant for employment because of; “RACE, COLOR, RELIGION, SEX, NATIONAL ORIGIN, AGE, DISABILITY, MARITAL OR VETERAN STATUS’’
 
Regards,
Management
Azamara Club Cruise Australia  
 
 
And it's so convincing, too.
 
Let's see how my edit compares:
 
 
AZAMARA CLUB NIGHTMARE CRUISE LINE
PO Box 157 Walker Street,
Level 12,
North Sydney, NSW 2060
Australia
(You’ll love where we take you from by the time we're done)

 
Email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com
 
Employment Notice
 
Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia Recruitment urgently needs the services of people devoid of sense and reason who are ready to be used and abused enroute to and while in France after undergoing pre-employment rectal scans invasive beyond all belief.

Qualified applicant should run screaming from this website.
The management intends to increase its manpower base due to islamofascist attacks, Somali pirates, storms, mayhem and mishaps and other assorted sh*t on the high seas.

The total recruitments will be 175 applicants.
 
THESE ARE THE AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
Accountant (don't everyone has one?)
Shark Food Chum Staff
Computer Effects Specialist
Musician
Administrative Assistant
Twat Waffle
Pre-Sinking Activities Director
Douche Nozzle Staff
Reservation About Going Staff
Disc Jockey
Gift Shop Staff
Douche Canoe Staff
Pre-Sinking Activities Staff
Staph 'n strep
Massage Therapist
Cleaner
Fryer
Medical Staff (Doctor / Nurse/whole fucking hospital)
Security   
Waitress
Beautician / Aesthetician/Delusionician
Engineering
Hostess Twinkie or Ding Dong
Singer Swinger Dinger
Photographer for later court cases
Guest shark bait
Keeping Houses from falling on ship if sailing in Kansas
Engine Room Staff
Dancer, Prancer, Donut or Blintz
Bartender
Bar Stiffener
Sinking Instructor
Comedian to entertain whilst we sink
Post Sinking Production Manager
Pubic Relation Staff
Guest Service Staff handing out life preservers and sea sick pills
THERE ARE OTHER AVAILABLE POSITIONS WHICH ARE NOT LISTED AND WITH F**KING GOOD REASON.
 
THE MANAGEMENT WILL SECURE A 72 HOUR MENTAL HEALTH EVALUATION FOR ANY QUALIFIED PERSON. VISA FEE, ACCOMMODATION & FLIGHT TICKET WILL BE PAID BY THE COMPANY.
 
Join us on board for the clusterf**k of a journey of your life; after reading this if still interested, such as described idiot applicants should forward their CV/RESUME via email: azamaracruiseoffice@mail2australia.com   in the email subject line write the POSITION you are applying for and your NAME and COUNTRY OF ORIGIN/RESIDENT for immediate laughter on the part of our operators who are sitting by to receive this sh*t.
 
Its Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia policy discriminates against any employee or applicant for employment because of having read and really -- and we do mean REALLY -- having understood how full of sh*t this document is.  We don't discriminate against dumbasses; we'll scam all of those we can get.  

 
Regards,
Management
Azamara Club Nightmare Cruise Australia
I didn't get any replies from the cruisers.  Nor, so far, from the hundred or so scammers I forwarded this email to.

Perhaps they weren't all that interested in a sea screw.








 

 

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Well, let us know if you get any bites.

Have a fabulous day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

20 August, 2017 08:30  

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