Skunkfeathers: Upper Volta, Anyone?

Just for the record, Upper Volta had nothing to do with this email thread.

Until Seymour, my 'geography geologic' pet rock decided it needed to.

Surprised as I was, you shoulda seed the other guy.

Here's how the other guy started:

I’m diplomat Mr Larry Don I have just arrived at the Los Angeles
International Airport with your valued consignment box of $7.8 million
dollars 45 minutes ago,

please
reconfirm

Your home address.................
Nearest airport........................
Your Direct Telephone...................
Copy of your Id..........................

to me so that I can proceed to your home right now with your consignment
box immediately. I’m waiting for your prompt reply.

Make Sure To reply on this email or text the phone number blow ( diplomaticlarry009@gmail.com

+1(502) 890-1392

Agent Mr Larry Don

When I saw "blow" my first thought was I was getting scammed by Kamala Harris.

That made even Alexa wince.

I didn't waste too much time...well okay, I did...but only some, before I gave Larry Don my character's usual address that a pot shop in the foothills of Colorado probably doesn't appreciate. And of course I throw'd in Jack's ID of choice:

That was good for this response:

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY MAY I TELL YOU THAT YOUR INFORMATION IS CONFIRMED ALSO THIS IS MY ID CARD

YOU ONLY NEEDED TO PAY FOR AN OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE IT WILL COST YOU ONLY 100 Dollars ONCE YOU SENT IT

IT WILL TAKE ONLY HURS FOR US TO DELIVERY YOUR FUND TO YOUR DOOR STEP IMMEDIATELY

YOUR URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED

And he throw'd in his bona fides as well:

Somehow I just know'd he was from Benin. Of course:

Ah...so everything is approved.

And all you need from me is $100.

Uh huh.

I'll look into that.

Excitement grows where Rosemary goes...or at least where Larry Don is:

YES IMMEDIATELY WE CONFIRMED THE FRE FROM YOU

NOTHING WILL STOP YOUR DELIVERY IT WILL TAKE PLACE IMMEDIATELY

IF YOU CAN WRITE TEXT COPY MY NUMBER AND TEXT ME BECAUSE WE ONLY CONFIRMED PAYMENT IN TEXT MESSAGE NOT ON EMAIL TO AVOID CRIMINALS

URGENT REPLY IS NEEDED

I can just imagine how urgent it is...since it's after midnight where this clown is emailing from, I reckon it probably is, so I act with the urgency one expects of me:

Well, that's reassuring.

I'll look into that right away.

OK WE WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR FEEDBACK

Feedback is it? Hotay:

I am happy to say that I have looked into it and all is good.

You may proceed with delivery.

Extra feedback will cost you $100.

That should make us even.

That kind of feedback wasn't perxactly what he was looking for:

I DON’T UNDERSTAND YOUR MESSAGE IF YOU ARE READY TO SENT THE $100 LET US KNOW

WAITING FOR YOUR OPINION

Oh, so it's my opinion he's waiting for? Of course it ain't but what the f***. And that's when Seymour threw in the opinion I should express to Larry Don, making Element snort coffee out of her trunk:

Here's an opinion of mine you might find interesting: it is my opinion that Burkina Fatso should have kept their name Upper Volta, instead of changing it in 1984. What do you think about that?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR MESSAGE AGAIN. WHAT IS THIS YOU SAY? ARE YOU SEND THE $100 IMMEDIATE?

You asked me for my opinion. I sent you my opinion. What's your opinion about my opinion about Burkina Fatso changing it's name from Upper Volta in 1984? Why'd they do it? What was wrong with Upper Volta?

REALLY ARE YOU SEND THE $100 NOW?

Really not until you answer your original request for my opinion by my giving you my opinion, and now you have to answer to my opinion with an opinion of your own. That's how this works. You're a diplomat, right? You know how this sh*t works, right? As for the $100, I charged you that for the feedback you requested, so we're even.