A Shakespearian Interlude

...not really.

My pet rock, Seymour, is being hosted in Virginia by a very accomplished, multi-talented teacher, writer, and painter of erudition and charm. Those who know me, know why it's the rock getting that treatment, and not yours truly* ;-) But I digress.

At any rate, an email from Seymour arrived early this day, and it is apparent that, as a part of Seymour's expanding reading repertoire, my learned friend is exposing Seymour to the words of the 'Bard.

It doesn't appear to be entirely sinking into that rather routinely thick skull of Seymour's, however. Take a gander at these Shakespearian thoughts from the Hard:

What's in a name? Letters. Duh.

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Crapeth, there goeth the weekend.

What a piece of work is a man? Don't asketh his ex...

My words fly up, my thoughts fly up, why can I not keepeth mine fly up?

Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. My Mr. Potatohead lost his.

Eye of newt, and toe of frog. Must mean another damned GEICO commercial.

This thing of darkness is easy to stub thine toe in.

Is whispering nothing? Uh, yeahhhh, in a tornado.

O true apothecary! Don' need you, I'm already stoned.

I am dying, Egypt, dying. But I'm outlasting your stupid Sphinx. Phffft-eth.

Chance may crown me if I date her sister.

Brevity is the soul of wit; I don't find being short, funny.

Passing strange, only to be overtaken by it at a stoplight.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? *BUZZER* Fail.

The better part of valor is discretion. The better part of discretion is chickensh**.

A thousand times good night. A million times don't call me.

Chaos is come again; Skunk's in the kitchen.

Hoist with his own petard. That'll leave a mark.

If Seymour comes home in leotards, he WILL winter on the patio.

"Will NOT!"

* well, that and about a billion other reasons ;-)