Credit THIS

We're into the second decade of the 21st Century, and yet some scammers still choose to operate the old fashioned way.

Via the USPS.  Which is okay with me; I can operate either way.  Especially when they include a postage paid envelope  ;-)

First, a little background:  I received via mail an offer -- a PRE-APPROVED OFFER -- for a $10,000 'credit card' with an APR of 5%, from Union Workers Credit Services.  In the "offer", they threw around references to Visa, Mastercard, etc.  And they suggested that my one-time acceptance "fee" of $37 would be fully refunded me with my first purchase.  From a catalogue.  But first, I had to accept their terms by sending them a check or money order for $37.

*TOING*

The same *warning buzzer* that goes off in my head every time I read a scam email was sounding with the same urgency now.

In this case, it was only the fact that I'd left the tea to boil a tad too long.  After disconnecting the smoke detectors and airing out the room to improve visibility, I went back to my perusal with a little online research.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

The Better Business Bureau rates this outfit an "F", as well as non-responsive to their inquiries.  Ripoff Report online shows over 600 complaints about them (the BBB listed over 450).

Oh yeah...this was so *game on*.

The rewrite was a little different; I couldn't scan in the original document and then cut/paste it for the edit; I had to remake the document in my own desired format.

Here is what they received back from me in their postage paid envelope.  *WARNING:  words I rarely use or allow on this blog were used aplenty in the edit*: 


Union Workers Credit Services
1327 Vampire Central Suite 130
Dumbass, TX 75247 (we sure hope you are)
　Credit Limit: Yes
Member Status: F**ked
Classification: Dumbass
Expires: Only AFTER we f**k you
Interest Rape: For everything we can get
Credit* Provider: A Lying Sack Of Sh*t Company (aka, Union Workers Credit Services)


CONGRATULATIONS, ASSHAT!!


It’s nice to inform you that you have been identified and PRE-APPROVED for a BUTT F**KING UNDER THE GUISE OF RECEIVING A PHATINUM CARD from Union Workers Credit Services with a GUARANTEED** limit of whatever we can f**k out of you!!
You don’t have to worry if you have been denied access to legitimate credit. The UWCS PHATINUM Card offers many benefits*** including getting offered****a very low interest rate*****!!


And this is all on accounta cuz you is PRE-APPROVED******!!!!!


This is a limited time offer*******so act NOW. Failure to do so will get the scum sucking, goat poking hourly sot who sent you this fired for non-productivity, and that will be one more unemployment sh*t you’ll have to support, you greedy, mean-spirited BASTARD. So quickly...don’t stop to THINK about it or read the fine print********, just enclose $37 by check, money order, first born’s IRA, 401k, savings bonds...whatever the f**k you got...and send it along with this ACTIVATE THE BUTTF**K FORM today!!!


YOU HAVE BEEN TARGETED FOR THIS BECAUSE WE GOT AHOLD OF YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS, AND WE ARE HOPING THAT YOU’RE STUPID AS A TEXAS TREE STUMP. OR BETTER STILL, DUMBER THAN AL GORE!!! NOTHING WRITTEN HEREAFTER MATTERS EVEN THOUGH WE WERE REQUIRED TO WRITE IT. DON’T BOTHER READING IT, IT’S BORING.



* credit only to a catalogue of junk and crap not worth a sh*t
** we guarantee ONLY that we’ll screw you for whatever we can..just ask the BBB, Rip-Off Report, etc...
*** none of which amounts to flea dick
**** offered is one thing; getting anything of value is another
***** interest rape, more likely
****** we approve of f**king you out of whatever we can
******* limited for however long we can stay one step ahead of the law
******** gawddammit, we said DON’T READ THIS SH*T..STOP F**KING READING THIS SH*T!!!!!!



　UNION WORKERS CREDIT SERVICES: Union corrupt, Union useless. That’s us.


And just for sh*ts and giggles, I sent them "money", in the form of this $100 bill:

I mean, that's good for 2.65 or so memberships, right?

At any rate, I am glad to see that in the age of dire straits for the USPS, scammers are doing their part to help...