Another Royal Snub?

Granted, they're royalty and all, but DANG. That's TWICE.

And just wait 'til you hear what they may have missed out on.Y'all know who this pictured on the right is: Prince William and his bride, Kate Middleton. Now, officially, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.

Why Cambridge, I have no ideer. They didn't consult me. Iffen they had, I would have suggested a title that would have been just as royal, and would have tickled the snarf out of a friend of mine: The Duke and Duchess of Earl.

What y'all don't know is....pictured here are my 23rd cousin, thrice-removed, and my now 23rd cousinette, thrice-as-removed.

Yep. I am related to royalty. Really.

The royalty is apparently not terribly impressed with that notion.

I can't always keep the lineage straight: my sister is the family genealogist, not me. But the Queen of England -- yep, that one -- is my 23rd cousin, once-removed. Which means...uh huh...that Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall -- Camilla -- are my 23rd cousins, twice-removed. And so on, and so on.

The lineage that makes it so goes back to the direct link up via King William The (Bastard) Conqueror. Somewhere thereafter, the branch of the royal tree upon which I would one day reside, growd, got pruned...died...got blowd off in an English storm, became part of someone's thatched roof...whatever. Bottomline, my being related to royalty, and fifty cents, isn't worth a decent cup of bloody tea, by jove.

Still...we're related. And just as in '05...Willie and Katy stiffed us: no royal wedding invite. Then, I reckoned -- and excused away -- Charles and Camilla's snub as their staff losing our invites.

But AGAIN? Twice in one century? Ruddy bad form, eh wot.

However, their bad form needn't result in me following suit. I may be a commoner, but I am a commoner with manures. And -- just as I did in '05 -- I am going to prove it, by dispatching to their Royalnesses a letter that (a) forgives the snub and (b) offers them several choices of wedding gifts.

Personally, I'm going to recommend that they go with the His/Hers bath towels, with iron-on royal monograms. I found a helluva deal at Walmart. I think that, at the very least, Duchess Cuzzin Kate will be impressed.

'Cuz this cuzzin cain't iron for sh**.

If -- as in '05 -- I get a response, I'll post both h'yar.