Ghana, The UN, An Edit and More
Or mebbe that's why she's pouting...'cuz she didn't.
Once again, the UN is trying to compensate one of my characters for a scam my character wasn't scammed on...and in so doing, trying to scam my character.
Kinda like the DNC.
Here's the gist of the scam:
World Bank Assisted Program
Directorate Of International
Payment And Transfer.
Debt Reconciliation/Audit Unit
United Nations Headquarters,
New York, NY 10017, U.S.A.
Our Ref: WB/NF/UN/XX028 United Nations.
We are authorize by United Nations Secretary General after the last UN Security Council meeting with the G8, and the Governing body of the United Nations Debt Reconciliation Unit, to investigate the unnecessary delay on your payment, recommended and approved in your favor. During the course of our investigation, we discovered with dismay that your Lottery Winning and inheritance/Compensation payment has been unnecessarily delayed by corrupt officials of the Bank and Government regulatory organs in Nigeria, Asia, Australia, Europe, Africa, America, Canada, North America, and South America who are trying to divert your funds into their private accounts.
This is to bring to your notice that we are delegated from the UNITED NATIONS and WORLD BANK To pay 500 people from your country as a result of they Lottery Winning, contract payment and Compensation as victim of Internet scam. The United Nations has decided to pay you Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) each. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the lucky person to be paid this amount, so get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate payment process of your Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) only.
This email is to 500 selected lucky people of the countries that have been scammed or extorted money from because of their contract payment execution in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate all the Lottery Winners and scam victim with the sum of Five Million Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) each. This includes every foreign contractors that may have not yet received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems or irregularities etc. We found your email in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and has been signed by the United Nations Board of Directors and Trustees from the WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMMED.
Be clarify that this fund has been approved in your favor and duly signed by the United Nations Financial Department, United Nations Board of Directors and Trustees from the WORLD BANK ASSISTED PROGRAMMED, and also note that your Fund will be release can either be release to you through the following method (Via Bank to Bank Wire Transfer, Via Automatic Teller Machine ATM MASTERCARD, Via Electronic On-Line Banking System, Via Bank Draft and Via Diplomatic Delivery Means) and the Chief Protocol Officer, in charge of the Fund Release Unit Mr Kwasi Evans at Bank of GHANA have been authorize to handle the release process of your fund per your chosen method you want to use to receive your Fund from the above listed means. You are hereby advised without delay to stop all contact going on between you and anybody on Internet over the claim of your Fund because you will end up at nothing with them as they have no Fund for you and you must understand that we are here to ensure that you receive your fund without any further problem, so follow our instruction and contact Mr Kwasi Evans for the claim of your Fund.
It goes on to blather about who and how my character must contact in Ghana to get what's coming to my character....*wink snort chortle snerx*
So while Hellary's email scam continues to fester like the pus infected giant zit it is, my character's edit of the scam will combine the two...and thensome:
Directorate Of International
Word Bank Loans And Transfer.
Twatwaffle Reconciliation/Awdamn Unit
United Nations Hindquarters,
New York, NY 10017, U.S.A.
Our douche is our nozzle.
We are authorize by United Nations Suckretary Genital after the last UN Suckurity Council meeting with the GesusHChrist, and the Governing body of the United Nations Leftover By Cannibals Reconstruction Eunuch, to investigate the unnecessary left declination on your bat pate recommended and approved in assorted flavors. During the intercourse with our inflatable hellary sex toy, we discovered with dismay that Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Nancy Bela Pelosi, Dianne Frankenfeinstein and Barack Obola are all of the same gender neutrality as that of a petrifried tree stump in Burundi. Bill Clinton's eunuchversity of female genital intern humidors is nonplused both here and in Nigeria, Asia, Australia, Europe, Africa, America, Canada, North America, and South America; but strangely enough, not on Uranus. They've taken no notice.
This is to bring to your notice that we are disinclined from the UNITED NATIONS and WORD BANK To spay 500 people from your country as a result of their having had sex with inflatable sex toys that look like Hellary, which as we all know is an Internet scam. The United Nations has decided to spay you as part of the 500. You are listed and approved for this spayment because your antecedence is dubious at best, and your ass looks like Elijah Cummings when he sneezes, so get back to this office as soon as possible for the immediate spayment process that we have made as bureaucratically obtuse as anything the DNC mishandles...which is about everything.
This email is sent randomly to 500 selected twatwaffles of the countries that have been scammed by inflatable hellary sex toys..except in the basement of the DNC, where hellary nutcrackers are all the rage. The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to constipate all the residents of Dearborn so that the brown note may be employed in a most unimaginable way possible. This includes every foreign contributor to the Clinton Crimedation, and people that have had an unfinished genital rebush that failed due to Government problems or irregularities etc.
Be clarify that this email has been fermenting in hellary's primate server hidden in Jen Psucki's ass at the State Dept and already has a hashtag campaign being set up by Marie Barf for release in time for a weekend at Bernie's.
Be informed that you are further persondated to quickly stop using gender assigned rest rooms until all the gorillas in Cinncinati has had gender reassignments. For that one you must contact the Bank of Ghana because that is the only place hellary is still receiving illegal crimepaign contributions from in exchange for her inflatable sex toys being helium fueled there. This is because one of Barf's hashtags claims that Ghana is safe, peaceful and conducktive to transact such huge inflatable hellary sex toys with helium without being indicted by government agencies. You are advised to stop any further communalcation with Fox News or any conservative talk radio source because you are going to screw up hellary's coronation as the most corrupt wench that ever had to pardon herself at her assumed inauguration. Adhere to this very instruction and you will likely regret it. Find below the contact details of KWASI EVANS. CONTACT HIS OFFICE ASAP,
Bank Name: BANK OF GHANA
Contact Person: MR. KWASI EVANS
Position: Chief Protocol Officer, Hellary Sex Toy Inflation Release Department
Bank Address: One Thorpe Road, Accra, Ghana
We expect your urgent attention to this email to enable us monitor this clusterf**k effectively. Most importantly we advise you to follow the instruction of Mr. Kwasi Evans as we have assigned him to mishandle the process of the release of your very own hellary inflatable sex toy complete with authentic and autographed life sized 6 XXXL butt thong. Respond soonest without any further delay.
MR. STAN PEGE
Douche Nozzle Ad Hork Unit
UNITED NATIONS, NEW YORK