Saturday, May 25, 2019

Dying To Be Friends

Yup.  That's how she started it.

Then it took the usual twist into full-blowd Scamland.

She even recruited people to impersonate a bank -- ING -- for authentication.

And that's where it truly fell apart.

But let's start with Ms Alisa Homere, living in the USA but being from Turkey:

Hello my name is  Dr. Alisa Homere, I will like to be friends with you. Can we know each other? please write me back i wait your reply.
 
Thanks
Dr. Alisa Homere  
 
 
Time to play:
 
 
And on what basis shall we develop this friendship?  
 
 
Game is on:
 
 
Welcome my dear 
How is life over there in your location hope pleasing and charitable.I am Dr. Alisa  Homere a Turkish nationality. residing in the United States.  am divorced without child. i am open and good heated woman of loving mind.
Please my dear may i know you and the country where you are living  presently and what you do for a living.
When i get your reply in my next mail i will disclose my main reason of contacting you. Here is my pictures  
 
 
She sent me a few pics, including this one:
 
 
I guess this proves that she's a doctor.  For a few bucks I can get me a certificate that says I'm a gynecologist, but meh:


Well...hello.
I am American.  My ancestors are primarily of northern and central European descent; I am, by blood, distantly related directly to the British Royal Family.
I am, however, a modest and humble man living simply.  I am a widower; my late wife died after 10 years of marriage, without child.  I have not chosen to remarry at this time.
I am currently running a medical marijuana dispensary in Colorado.  Not a user myself, but the industry is new and lucrative here, so it's what I do.
So...what is your main reason for contacting me? 
 
 
Most of which isn't true, but who cares.  She goes on:
 
 
You are highly welcome my dear.thanks for the reply how is today with you. hope fine. Like i said in my previous mail .My name is Dr. Alisa  Homere a Turkish nationality. residing in the United States.  Born June 20, 1980 . I had to contact you in this way because I want to do something very important. This will seem a little suspect true that you do not know me, and I do not know you either. I suffer from cancer of the lungs that is terminally ill, as a medical doctor with the stage of my illness i don't think i will make it up to 45 days from now due to the disease have grow and spread differently in my body. 
 
I am a divorce woman and I have no child of my own. I plan to donate all my property to charity homes and the less privilege if you can promise me that you will be hobble and trustworthy to follow my instruction to share this fund us$860,000 Dollars to the less privilege i have work for in my life get back to me with your full details as follows

Your full names: ........
Your address: ...........
Post code: ...............
City: ........................
Your Age: ................
Country: ..................
Telephone number: ...
Profession: ..............

By the special grace of God when the money enters your position take us$160,000 only and share the rest accordingly as directed you for me to have rest in the booze of my creator.
I await your immediate response and your complete information,
Dr. Alisa  Homere
+15048142576 
 
 
By most scam substandards, this one is pretty chinsy.  Only $160,000 for me and the rest for "booze of my creator".
 
I can imagine why her "creator" probably has a booze problem, but I digress.
 
 
I respond:
 
 
You're dying and have no one to see to your last wish?  Well...you've come to the right place.  I'm as hobble a person as you'll find.   (and I provide her the requested info from one of my most reliable and hobble scambaiting characters).
 
She replies:
 

I am happy to read from you, Mostly what i need from you is prayers and to assist the less privilege. I have noted your contact information's which i am going to forward to the bank now on your behalf to transfer the money to you as my appointed relation to receive the money also i will appreciate you to contact the bank with the below details that you are from Dr. Alisa Homere and have ask you to receive the amount i have in there bank into your own account please i need your prayers much because i don't know what tomorrow will tell in my life.  Here is the information of the bankING BANK A.S (Formerly Oyak Bank A.s.)
Eski Buyukdere Cd. Ayazaga Koy Yolu 16
34398 Maslak, Istanbul Turkey
Tel: + 905399127862
Fax: 90 212 286 61 00
Email: ingbsa@uymail.com
Email:  ErwinOljslager@gmail.com
Contact Person: Mr. Erwin Olijslager
Chief Financial Officer

God bless you and your family

Best Regards.
Dr.  Alisa  Homere
+15048142576   



Curious that you live in the USA but still bank in Turkey.
Eh...I tend to notice the minutiae. 
Bank:  please note the last email below and respond.  
 
 
Meantime, she goes on:
 
 
It was nice to read from you? How are you dear.
Please i need prayers from you because my health is not all that sound.
Also have you contacted the bank for the transfer?
I am waiting for your reply.  
 
 
Yes, I reckon it was nice for you to hear from me?
Yes, I did write to your bank. 

Yes, I did hear from your bank.   

Thanks and God bless you. Don't forget to tell me as you receive the money from the bank.
I want to take my drugs and have some relaxation.  Waiting for your massage dear.  
 
 
Too bad you're not here...I've got some doobage doobage doo that would knock the socks right offa your ills.  Better than a massage.  Affordable too, kinda.  
 
 
My dear how are you, I bless God today that i am a little better.  Please let me know your conclusion with the bank when they will transfer the money to you.  
 
 
No sweat, Babycakes.  You'll be the first to hear...unless you're dead.  Then you'll be second, third or somewhere later.  
 
 
In the meantime, my character is having something of a different exchange with her ING Bank:
 
 
 ING BANK A.SING BANK A.S (Formerly Oyak Bank A.s.)
Eski Buyukdere Cd. Ayazaga Koy Yolu 16
34398 Maslak, Istanbul Turkey
Tel: +905399127862
Fax: 90 212 286 61 00

Re:ibas/jne/023

Date: 26/02/2019

Attn. Mr. Jack N. Ewehoff

With due respect,

On behalf of the board and members of staff of the above named finance hereby depose as follows, to out wise you that your details has been received in our firm.

To enable us proceed with the transfer of this fund, do reconfirm and forward to us the below details of yours

1. Full Name

2. Bank account details

3. A photocopy of your international passport or any proof of your identity.

4. Address

5. Phone Number

Await your response.

Feel free to contact the undersigned for clarification.

Your Faithfully.
Mr. Erwin Olijslager
Chief Financial Officer
Email: ErwinOljslager@gmail.com
ING BANK A.S (Formerly Oyak Bank A.s.)  
 
 
First, I would like your bona fides for confirmation.  
 
 
We don't underdtand what you mean try to clear us with your word.    
 
 
 bona fides:  your authentication
I would like you to authenticate yourself then we can proceed    



What do you mean this is a bank 
 
 Well I know that's what you CLAIM to be.  Anyone can go online and say "I'm a bank".
While all the while, not being a bank.  For all I know, you're a bank of fawg.
So I want authentication from you that proves you're a bank. 
Every legitimate bank can authenticate themselves by providing their "bona fides".
Provide me yours.  Then we can proceed.  Surely that's a word you can grasp?  
 
 
*JEOPARDY THEME MUSIC*...and here's what we waited for:


you has to come here to our bank to compete this transaction since you have this view.


Since you don't have a living clue what 'bona fides' and 'authentication' means, perhaps you'll understand this:  FAT F***ing CHANCE.  I am NOT traveling to a Third World crap hole to an unauthenticated "bank" just because your nose is out of joint and you can't do something as simple as authenticating your status as a bank.  A river could; fawg could.  You need to. Figure it out if you expect to do business with me.
 

it is clear that you are not serious about this business.  pls get serious or stop contacting us.


I'll have you know that I'm as serious as painful rectal itch is to a snake that hasn't a finger to scratch it with.  Think about that visual while you ponder your next reply carefully.


Sadly, they did ponder it...and ended all contact.


I guess they're no longer dying to be friends...

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Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Calling All Dupes

If the character wasn't long dead, I could easily be convinced that this latest email scam comes from Chief Inspector Clouseau, rather than the "Metropolitan Police UK".

Read it and see why:


My names is INSPECTOR WALMSLEY GEOFFREY ROBERT from METROPOLITAN POLICE UK, there is presently a counter claims on your funds by one MR.JOHN LEWIS, who is presently trying to make us believe that you are dead and even explained that you entered into an agreement with him before your death, to help you in receiving your fund US$10,502,000.00 So here comes the big question.

Did you sign any Deed of Assignment in favor of ( JOHN LEWIS ),He further claimed that you died on the 26/MARCH/2018 and you have been buried , thereby making him the current beneficiary with his following account details:

MR JOHN LEWIS,
AC/NUMBER: 6503809428.
ROUTING/122006743,
B/NAME:Bank Of American ( B.O.A ),
ADDRESS:NEW YORK,USA,

We shall proceed to issue all payments details to the said Mr. John Lewis, if we do not hear from you within the next two working days from today.

Kindly provide us the below informations about yourself :

Your Name :
Full Contact Address:
Date of Birth :
Contact Phone Number :
Contact Fax Number (if any) :
Contact Email Address:

You should provide us with the above information asap, if you want to claim your Fund today.

Thanks

INSPECTOR WALMSLEY GEOFFREY ROBERT  



Just the kind of email that makes you jump right up and get all excited to find out that people think you're dead and you have millions in an account with the Bank of American *snort* that you have been, up to now, blissfully unaware of.  


Yawp.


This one had *edit* writ all over it, and that's what my character went and dun to his email:


From: METROPOLITAN POLICE UK <email1@manofwrld2019.ga>
Sent: Sunday, March 17, 2019 2:45 PM
To: jackofnotradesmasterofbaiter101@hotmail.com
Subject: ARE YOU TRULY DEAD OR ALIVE AND/OR COGNIZANT OF THAT FACT ALONG WITH OTHERS?

 
Attention,

Note:  if you're a trained investigator like me, you'll note what I just did in my opening sentence below:
My names is INSPECTOR WALMSLEY GEOFFREY ROBERT from METROPOLITAN POLICE UK.  The 'UK' stands for United Kingdom, and not University of Kentucky Fried Chicken, which sorta kinda matters on the eve of the start of March Madness.  In a brief aside, have you bloody well filled out your brackets yet, wankers?  If not, crikey...you bloody well better get off the bum and get it in before tonight.  Now back from my digression.

Representing myself to be a trained investigator with the Metropolitan Police UK, this should suggest that I am a crime fighter...an adherent of law enforcement...one of the good guys.

And unicorns crap Neapolitan ice cream at Baskin-Robbins. 

If that were so, then I bloody wouldn't be here with this whacking great pile of bad haggis, laying on you a far-fetched tale that there is presently a counter claims on your funds by one MR.JOHN LEWIS, who is presently trying to make us believe that you are dead and even explained that you entered into an agreement with him before your death, to help you in receiving your fund US$10,502,000.00.

But here I am, doing that. So here comes the big question.

Are you bloody moronic enough to believe that (a) I am what I say I am (b) you have what I say you have (c) someone else is trying to get what I say you have and (d) that Trump colluded with the Russians to kill off all the dinosaurs so there'd be oil to make money off of millions of years after the fact?  To further amuse someone out there, he further claimed that you died on the 26/MARCH/2018 and you have been buried in a purple ascot and golf knickers, wearing the hat that Rodney Dangerfield thought to be the worst hat he ever saw and that if you bought it you'd get a free bowl of soup. 

Are you following me so far?  If not, no map or compass will help.  Don't expect Uber to pick you up based on this either.

So here we are, tottering on the border of Namby-Pamby Land, thereby leaving you the single most ridiculous decision you'll never have to make if you have at least three working brain cells:   and that is if you do with this email what you orta, rather than stupidly answering it thinking you're really entitled to anything mentioned herein.   Personally, I can't wait to see just how stupid you are.

So if you are of tree stump-level intellect -- like the morons that elected democraps in 2018 -- get back to me on the following:

MR JOHN LEWIS,
AC/NUMBER: 6503809428.
ROUTING/122006743,
B/NAME:Bank Of American ( B.O.A ),
ADDRESS:NEW YORK,USA,

If you is alive but don't care about the nonsense above, we shall proceed to issue all payments details to the said Mr. John Lewis if we do not hear from you within the next two working days from today.

If you is dead and don't therefore care to find the time to reply, this will be fully understood, even by the operators we dug up to have standing by in case someone actually replies to this.
 
Then again, if you are an intellectual liberal fecal deposit, kindly provide us the below informations about yourself :

Your Name :
Full Contact Address:
Date of Birth :
Contact Phone Number :
Contact Fax Number (if any) :
Contact Email Address:

You should provide us with the above information asap, if you want to do the online equivalent of getting pied in the face today.

Thanks until we meet again and the case is solve-ed,

INSPECTOR WALMSLEY GEOFFREY ROBERT
METROPOLITAN POLICE UK
"We're into busts...the bigger she has, the better"


So far, Inspector Walmsley Geoffrey Robert has not been able to tear himself away from his tea and crumpets to reply...

 

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Sunday, May 19, 2019

Alles GePHFFFFTen

Parodies simply are that.

Email scams in foreign languages seem to me parodies as well.

At least, that's how I treat 'em.

I'm not German.  I don't sprechen but a few badly-pronounced words of it.  None of which will get me a post at the US State Department.

But when I get an email scam to my character, written in German, it amuses me:



Lieber Freund,

Ich bin Herr Richard Wahl der Mega-Gewinner von $ 533M In Mega Millions Jackpot spende ich an 5 zufällige Personen, wenn Sie diese E-Mail erhalten, dann wurde Ihre E-Mail nach einem Spinball ausgewählt. Ich habe den größten Teil meines Vermögens auf eine Reihe von Wohltätigkeitsorganisationen und Organisationen verteilt. Ich habe mich freiwillig dazu entschieden, Ihnen den Betrag von € 2.000.000,00 zu spenden eine der ausgewählten 5, um meine Gewinne zu überprüfen, finden Sie auf meiner You Tube Seite unten.

UHR MICH HIER:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tne02ExNDrw


Das ist dein Spendencode: [DF00430342018]

Antworten Sie mit dem Spendencode auf diese E-Mail: wkfinancialservice@gmail.com

Ich hoffe, Sie und Ihre Familie glücklich zu machen.

Grüße

Herr Richard Wahl  



It especially amuses me when it involves an American that won Mega Millions.  Why email THAT in Deutsch sprechen?  


Yes, I know:  I could copy it over to the Gooble Translooter and have it all in my brand of English.


But I didn't see the fun in that this time.  So I took my own pterodactyl-German woids and pronunciations, and responded back thus:


From: utazas@tandtsport.hu <utazas@tandtsport.hu>
Sent: Saturday, April 13, 2019 1:22 AM
To: Recipients
Subject: Das Lobster loosen undt schtuff!

 
Lieber dumkopf,

Ich bin Herr Richard Wahl der Gewinner von $10 geheime vagina schtickers In Mega Morons Third Vorld Gibtsavay undt ich an hundsfott ist gefallen Personen, wenn Sie diese E-Mail erhalten, dann wurde Ihre E-Mail nach einem Spitball ausgewählt.
 
Ich habe den größten Teil meines Vermögens auf eine Reihe von Wohltätigkeitsorganisationen und douchenozzle undt schtuff liken dat verteilt. Ich habe mich freiwillig dazu entschieden, Ihnen den Betrag von € 2.00 zu spenden eine der genital ointment ausgewählten, um meine gesundheit zu ibuprofen, finden Sie auf weiner YouBoob Seite unten.

UHR MICH HIER: https://achtung.bitte.mein.fliegerscheisse
Das ist dein Suspendencoden undt schtuff: [DF00430342018]

Antworten Sie mit dem alles kaput undt spitzen sparken undt schiesse like dat.  E-Mail: wkfinancialservice@gmail.com for bork bork bork

Ich mein genital, Sie und Ihre Familie glücken kuckucksheim zu machen.

Grüße undt awpeterstain

Herr Richard Wahl


I don't know if the scammer tried running this through the Gooble Translooter or not, but either way...he gave up.

Mein pointen.
 

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Thursday, May 16, 2019

The Emails, They Are A Changing...

Obola really screwed up the FBI I guess.

I mean, look what he dun to the organization that once featured Efraim Zimbalist Jr, protecting and serving on network TV, and was once knowd as the premier law enforcement agency in the land:


Attention: E-mail Address Owner,

Sequel to the meeting held with Federal Bureau of Investigation, The International Monetary Fund (IMF) is compensating all the scam victims and some email users which your name and email address was found on the list.

This is to pay all the Fraud Victims who lost the money to scammers in African countries more especially Nigeria and from all the Francophone countries, Rejoice you have been compensated with amount $650,000usd for self support to help individuals to own a self charity organization also for you to build your Personal Company/organization so as to help the less privileged in there society due to the financial crisis.

This includes people that lost their money on fake inheritance AND fake lotto and Online dating scams.

We found your name in the list of those who are to benefit from this compensation and decided to contact you through this way.

In case you have not received YOUR benefit,

Kindly contact inheritance lawyer:
Barrister .Badmus Thompson
E mail: barristerbadmusthompson@gmail.com

Contact Him immediately and request for your ATM VISA CARD if you have not receive your parcel

Best regards,
Gabi Goodman  



I guess too many Obola appointees, smirking Strzoks, sleazing Pages and integrity-void Comeys, left them with little else to do.


So I wonder what they'll do with this as a reply to their email?


Attention: E-mail Octopus Garden Owner,

Seagull to the mating held with Federal Burrito of Ingestigation, The International Monketary Fungus (IMF) is consternating all the scram vacuoids and some e-whales which your name and yo mama was found with a 39 degree list.

This is to play all the Poseidumb adventure games who lost their cookies when the ship rolled and someone left the cake out in the rain in African countries more especially Nigeria and from all the Francofax countries. Rejoice for you have been diagnosed with genital warts in your sinus passages!  This means that you too can be awarded with self support to help yourself to whatever you come up with.  Or, you can sexually violate chinchillas that own a self charity organization.  Also, you can build a log cabin out of laminated poop in San Crapcisco so as to help the less privileged find a constructive use for all their unused, street-covering poop due to the fecal crisis.

This includes people that still can't get over that Hellary lost her rigged election and all the other leftist scams.

We found your name in the list of those who are to have genital-switching surgery with a manatee and decided to contact you through this way.

In case you have been deluded to assume that you deserve a benefit, stupidly contact our lawyer that specializes in anal sex with orthopods and Yugo tail pipes:

Barrister Badmus Thompson
E mail: barristerbadmusthompson@gmail.com

Contact Him immediately as operators are standing by at 1-900-ASSHAT and request for your sinus genital wart implant kit if you have not receive yours yet.

Dubious at Best regards,
Gabi Goodman  
 
 
The email originator(s) didn't seem to fancy replying to what we dun to their email, Ma.  Mebbe they can write to that whackjob Cortez to get her nose out of joint about something else.

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Monday, May 13, 2019

Uncredibility Abounds

Okay, so mebbe I didn't do this recently.  I might have if the props had been present.

Scammers pretending to be financial advisers.  Everyone wants to be Bernie Madoff.

He was well-named, but not well-played.

This one is neither:


Dear ***************@hotmail.com,

Please pardon me for this unsolicited communique.

I do have the trusteeship of a PRIVATE investor with a stormy political background to outsource individuals with sound

Financial Management abilities to manage over US$1.3B devoid of his name. These funds can be invested in tranches of US

$100M or a tranche that is suitable for the portfolio manager.

If you have Financial Management abilities, credible project in need of funding or existing business requiring expansion,

your feedback would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Martin Jones
Managing Partner
FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT AND ADVISORY SERVICES LIMITED  



Now, there are a few folks out there that this clown is counting on to find this email credible.  If it reaches any voters for that Cortez broad from NYC, he might get lucky. 

I chose a middle ground here:  a little creative editing AND a reply that questioned his proofreading.  First, my reply: 

Excuse me...did you closely read this email before you sent it?

I am reading it with incredulity.  It reads easier after six scotch 'n waters.

From: Mr. Martian Jones <capitalalmal@gmail.com>Sent: Thursday, April 4, 2019 11:37 AMTo: Subject: FINANCIAL MISMANAGEMENT AND ADHORKORY SERVICES UNLIMITED  

Dear  Schlossiknocker

Please pardon me for this soliloquized communicake.

I do have the trusteeship of a PRIMATE investor with a stormy political background and questionable bowel habits to outwit individuals with unsound

Financial Management abilities and dubious antecedence to mismanage over $1.3B devoid of monetary denominational valuation at this or any time.


These funds can be invested in tranches, trenches, ditches, subway tunnels, salt mines, gopher holes and unused vaginal spaces of 80 year old born again virgins from Guam, before it tips over and upsets global warnings of such an event, coming soon to a pay-per-view or YouTube venue near someone.

If you have Financial Management inabilities, totally uncredible projects in need of being sprayed or spayed, or existing business requiring expansion of painful rectal itch, your feedback would be depreciated at 285% compounded daily.  Happy Hour at Chilis or Hooters excluded.

Martian Jones
Extratesticle Partner
FINANCIAL MISMANAGEMENT AND ADHORKORY SERVICES UNLIMITED


"F**KING UP FINANCES SINCE THE INTERNET GOT TO THIS FLY-INFESTED INTERNET CAFE IN A THIRD WORLD SCHEISSE HOLE"   


You'd think that this would be enough to convince the scammer that I'm not a promising lead.  *BUZZZER*:


That is not my letter I send.  I send again (and he repeated his original email).


Pardon me, but is your email address (see the one in the header)?


yes  are you interest in my proposal?


Sorry, bub, but the email I sent you back is the one you originally sent me.  That's how I was able to send it back to you.  It was obviously your secretary.  Do you want to shoot her now or wait 'til you get home?


I tell you that not my email.  are you a crazy person?


I'm not, but one of my other personalities could be.  With him, it's always wabbit or duck season for speech-impedimized hunters.  Know any of them? 

That was apparently enough to get the message across to the scammer.  Either that, or he ran into Elmer Fudd and picked the wrong season...

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Friday, May 10, 2019

Auto Not Do That

Uh huh.

According to a recent email, I "won" a BMW 7 series -- a brand new one -- AND $1.5 million USD.

From an online lottery I never entered.

And my contact to collect on all this is a "reverend".

*Meh*

Here's the scam:


BMW of North America, LLC
300 Chestnut Ridge Road.
Woodcliff Lake, NJ 07677-7731
United States of America
 
NOTE: If you received this message in your SPAM/BULK folder, that is 
because of the restrictions implemented by your Internet Service 
Provider, we (BMW) urge you to treat it genuinely.
 
 
Dear Winner,
 
This is to inform you that you have been selected for a prize of a 
brand new Model BMW 7 Series Car and a Check of $1,500,000.00 USD from 
the international balloting programs held on the 2nd section in the 
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
 
Description of prize vehicle;
Model: 750li Color (exterior): Metallic Silver Mileage: 5 
Transmission: Automatic 6 Speed
 
Options: Cold weather package, premium package, fold down rear seats 
w/ski bag, am fm stereo with single in dash compact disc player.
 
The selection process was carried out through random selection in our 
computerized email selection system (ESS) from a database of over 
250,000 email addresses drawn from all the continents of the world 
which you were selected.
 
The BMW Lottery is approved by the British Gaming Board and also 
Licensed by the International Association of Gaming Regulators (IAGR). 
To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fiduciary 
claims department for more information as regards procedures to the 
claim of your prize.
 
Name: Rev. Eric Moore
Email:  ericm3844@gmail.com
Direct 24hours Security Line: (601) 336-0114  (Text Message Only)
 
Contact him by providing him with your Reg. pin code Number: 0011185003/25
 
You are also advised to provide him with the under listed information 
as soon as possible:
 
1. Name In Full :
2. Residential Address :
3. Nationality :
4. Age :
5. Sex :
6. Occupation :
7. Direct Phone :
8. Present Country :
9. Email address :
10. Reg pin code Number: 0011185003/25
 
Please you are to provide him with the above listed details as soon as 
possible so he can begin with the processing of your prize winnings.
 
Congratulations from all our staffs and thank you for being part of 
our promotional program.
 
 
Regards,
 
Mr. Ludwig Willisch
CEO and President
BMW of North America
BMW GROUP
United States of America
© 2019  
 
 
Fine.  Here's what went back to the scammer and dozens of his pears and collies:
 
 
From: Ludwig Willisch <tests@coinchambers.com>
Sent: Sunday, March 31, 2019 1:12 AM
Subject: REF; 0011185003/25 (..Meh..)

 
WTF of Newark, LLC
300 Chet's Nuts Ridge Road
Newark Sucks, NJ 07677-7731
United States of America
 
NOTE: If you received this message in your SPAM/BULK folder, that is 
because it belongs there; we (WTF) urge you to treat it genuinely.
 
 
Dear Whiner,
 
This is to inform you that you have been selected for a prize of a 
brand new Model WTF 1 Series Car and a Czech from 
the international balloting programs held on the 2nd section in the 
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
Note:  You don't have to get stuck with this Czech.
 
 
Description of prize vehicle;
Model: First model WTF Color (exterior): Metallic Feces Mileage: 5 
Transmission: Manual 1 Speed
 
 
Options: four tires, one engine, one standard transmission, brakes,
seats, trunk, cold weather package, premium package, fold down
rear seats w/body bag, am fm stereo with single in dash compact
disc player. Note: they're options and you got none of them included.

Options included:  cup holders.
 

 
The selection process was carried out through random selection in our 
computerized email selection system (ESS) from a database of over 
250,000 email addresses drawn from email addresses collected in
Nigeria from which you were selected.
 
The WTF Lottery is approved by the Nigerian Gaming Broad and also 
Licensed by the International Association of WTFers (IAWTFr). 
To begin the processing of your prize you are to contact our fecal 
claims department for more information as regards procedures to the 
claim of your prize.
 
Name: Rev. Eric Moore, a complete twat waffled douche nozzle
Email:  ericm3844@gmail.com
Direct 24hours Security Line: (601) 336-0114  (Text Message Only)
 
 
Contact him by providing him with your best insults.
 
If you have the IQ of a tree stump, you are also advised to provide him
with the under listed information even though it's a total waste of your
time:
 
1. Name In Full :
2. Residential Address :
3. Nationality :
4. Age :
5. Sex :
6. Occupation :
7. Direct Phone :
8. Present Country :
9. Email address :
10. Reg pin code Number: 0011185003/25
 
Congratulations from all our staphs, streps and other infectious diseases,
and f**k you for nothing if you ignore this our pogrom. 
 
Regards,
 
Mr. Ludwig Willisch
CFA*
WTF of North America
WTF GROUP
United States of America

*Chief F**king Asshole
© 2019  
 
 
The fake rev and car company sponsoring this scam were apparently not impressed with my edit, as they immediately and succinctly disqualified me from my prize thus:
 
f**k you  
 
 
Awwww, Wassamatta...your scam fah down go phfffffft? 
 
 
Which is fine; anyone normal could have done without the Czech anyway...
 
 
 


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