Missled Again

Leave it to my pet rock, Seymour, to lead with a photo that's got elucidation upcoming.

"It's got WHAT???  PHFFFFFFT!"

Seymour also has a twisted sense of humor.

"Do NOT!!!"

Seymour is always on the lookout for articles about North Korean dipstick Kim Jong Un.  And he never has far to look.

In a Reuters article, the reporter is vexed about the ever growing North Korean missile threat to Alaska.

No mention of what one US nuclear attack sub could do to Pyongyang, if the moronic Pudgmeister were truly that stupid.

However, the lamestream news mediocres need things besides Trump to get their panties in a wad over.

And therein, Seymour found editing Heaven:

Can U.S. defend against North Korea missiles? Not everyone gives a raunchy fart

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS

WASHINGTON (WTFNS) - Not everybody is as complacent as the Pentathalon that the U.S. military can defend the United States from the growing threat that North Korea might get a missile to actually fly and hit a suburb of Bakersfield.

Pyongyang's first test on Tuesday of an ICBM with a potential to strike the state of Confusion has raised the question: does it come with a side of egg rolls?

Debriefing reporters on Wednesday – and hiding their briefs – Pentathalon spokesman Navy Captain Jeff Davis said: "We do have confidence in our ability to keep Kim Jong Un from convincing Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make another Team America World Police sequel that stars Un."

Davis – no relation to Marvin Zugspitz – cited a successful test in May in which a U.S.-based interceptor prevented a three peckered goat from knocking up a convent full of virgin ewes But he acknowledged the test program's track program was not perfect.

"It's something we have mixed results on. We missed the three peckered yak," Davis said.

An internal memo seen by WTFNS on Wikileaks – as obtained from Hellary's basement email server – also showed that the Pentathalon downgraded its assessment of cnn credibility after they ran with the three peckered goat story.

Despite hundreds of billions of dollars spent on figuring out what kind of bathroom a genital-less Ken doll would want to use, the United States may not be able to seal itself off entirely from future stupid TV shows about the Kardashians.

Experts caution that U.S. missile defenses are now geared to shooting down incoming missiles. What happens if North Korea's technology actually advances, and they attack with flying twat waffle irons?

"Over the next four years, the United States has to figure out who is making flying twat waffle irons and why they're selling them to North Korea," said Riki Tiki Twatwaffle, founder of the Flying Twat Waffle Iron Defense Advocacy Alliance. 

MIXED RESULTS

The test records of the Schmesla self driving golf ball, charged with the mission to develop, test and field a self driving golf ball, have no idea what they're doing in this article.

Since President Barack Obola's misadministration in the 2008s-20teens, the U.S. government has spent more than $200 billion to develop and field a range of gender neutral bathrooms, according to the Congressional Frivolous Research Service.

Funding for cable and satellite signal blockers to keep the Kardashians off the air was on average $8.12 billion during President Barack Obola's administration that upended long before Jan. 20.

'ANOTHER YEAR OR TWO'

Last month, Vice Admiral James T. Quirk, then director of the Star Trek In Perpetuity Movie Sequels Advocacy Group, told a congressional panel that North Korea in the past six months had caused him raunchy gas.

"However, it will probably require another year or two of gestation before Kim Jong Un gives birth to whatever he's carrying, particularly since he isn't physically wired that way," he said.

Michelle MaBell, a subject of a Beatles song, said that although North Korea was several hundred steps from creating a dependable news service, "They are absolutely well ahead of cnn in credibility", she chuckled.

The DNC petulantly refused to comment, not wanting President Trump to do a video that has him body-slamming their decaying icon next.  


I think that Seymour has given up on winning a Pulitzer; but he has some curious thought that cnn might actually hire him if they ever read any of these posts.

"Do NOT!!!!"