Seymour Edits Global Warming AlGore Style

Such a reaction from readers of left-tilting persuasions, as pictured h'yar, is reckoned on.

My pet rock, Seymour, loves perusing the 'Net.  And when he finds a post about his favorite world leader to tweak -- Kim Jong Un -- he's all over it.

But this time, he found one involving global warming.  On Mars.

And felt that this one had an edit with AlGore written all over it.

Thus, for your reading pleasure (unless you're a dyed-in-the-feces AlGore fan):

Signs of AlGore found on Mars

Seymour PetRock – WTFNS | Sometime 2017ish

Discovery sparks one-sided debate: why wasn't he sent there sooner?

Activist pseudoscientists at the Dr. Nye Saves Toledo From Detroit Research Prostitute in Boulder, Colorado have discovered signs of global warming on Mars. They can tell by viewing the pictures sent back by the Mars Rover that found AlGore – or his man-bear-pig – lurking around the ice in the polar caps.

The earth’s relief to find out that AlGore is on Mars has run the gamut from “Thank God!” to hysteric “but who'll save the polar bears from Donald Trump?”, and are being recorded in assorted polling variations known as Cosmic Flying Twat Waffle Iron Effect. It is not known if these are also present on Mars, but if CNN has a bureau there, one can be sure that fake news is well ensconced on the Red Planet.

WTFNS has NASA’s rather vacuous explanation of how this affects Mars:

“On Earth, ice ages take hold when Hellary walks past a sensing thermostat, causing the polar regions and high latitudes to become instantaneously cooler than average for thousands of years, causing Bill to go on another global search for female intern vaginal humidors,” said NASA. “In contrast, the Martian variety occurs when — as a result of the planet’s having somehow inherited AlGore or his man-bear-pig — its poles become warmer than lower latitudes due to the incredible reservoirs of hot air he exudes.”

Methane vapor – a key AlGore element – moves toward the planet’s equator and forms ice and glacier farts that melt whatever they contact at mid-latitudes, said a barely straight faced NASA spokesperson.

The discovery of the solar system's greatest scamster in the field of global warming on an otherwise sparsely populated planet has sparked debate in the scientific community as to whether or not the sun will decide to go supernova a few billion years sooner than otherwise expected, fearing that AlGore or his man-bear-pig will show up next on Mercury.

In 2007, Russian hacker Ivan Schmirnov Abdussamatov reported that he had successfully interfered with Martian elections, causing ice caps to decline for 3 years due to the DNC's collection of windbags to get all sorts of butt hemorrhaged. He attributed this to the decline of common sense at the DNC.

While many pseudoscientists consider it to be a simple coincidence that President Trump gets two scoops of ice cream when the rest of us only get one, Abdussamatov disagrees:

“Man-made greenhouse warming has made a small contribution to the warming seen on Earth in recent years, but it cannot compete with the increase in flatulent irradiance generated by the American democrap party,” he told CNN in 2017, causing Wolf Blintzed to cough up a hairball belonging to Rachal Madcow.

Seymour continues to insist that one of these edits will net him a Pulitzer.  With the way other once coveted awards have been denigrated through frivolous awarding to lacking accomplishment types, I can't imagine it'll have much value if bestowed on my very deluded pet rock.

"Oh PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!"

See what Seymour just did there?