When In Doubt...Unicorns

This is not what a scammer, purporting to be the General Auditor of Bank of America, at all had in mind when she sent my character this:


Bank of America Financial Center 
Metro Center Station 700 13th St NW, 
Washington, DC 20005, United States
Office of Ms. Christine P. Katziff
Corporate General Auditor (BOA)
Wire Transfer & Audit Department
Direct Tell: +12024555966


Attention:,

I am Ms. Christine P. Katziff, Corporate General Auditor, Bank of America. Be informed of the arrival and availability of your long awaiting inheritance fund Part Payment value, ($7, 000,000.00) only as received. This occurred on the march 21st 2018, through great effort by the USA Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC). But our Bank Board of Directors, refused to get you informed for reasons best known to them, which I believe, must be selfish interest. 

I made my research in our Bank database and confirmed I can wire the fund to your choice of Bank account and have the wire tracer wiped out from the system, where the fund wire transfer cannot be traced to your Bank account by any Financial Authority.  

Therefore, I urge you to trust my skill and assure me the absolute confidentiality of this information, and I will have your fund wired via the fastest method of wire transfer, (MT202 Cov), If you agree or can trust my skill on this matter, reconfirm your details as listed bellow, and I will transfer your fund as you will confirm it in your Bank account same day.

If you have any doubt or negative thought about this, please, don't bother to reply this message, I cannot persuade you, I am only here to exercise my hatred on cheating and cheaters, using my perfect professional skill. 

Be assured of a successful completion of this deal upon adhering to my directives by acting at the right time where necessary. 

No INTERFERENCE from the Government or any Financial Authorities, no one will have the right to intervene on the transaction following my perfect plans to make it happen. 

Reconfirm the following details to enable us commence on the process immediately.

Your Full Names: 
Your Current Home Address: 
Your Direct Cell:
Your Current Occupation:

Bank Names: 
Bank Address:
Bank Account No:
Bank Account Names:
Swift No:
Routing No:

Christine P. Katziff  
Corporate General Auditor  


But that's what my 'editing gone wild' pet rock, Seymour, thunk up almost immediately, especially when he saw that if he had any doubt he was not to write back.  Seymour always takes that as a challenge:


  Subject: UNICORNS!!!!!!

 

Bank of Merica Financial Center 

Metro Center Station 700 13th St NW, 
Washington, DC 20005, United States
Office of Ms. Christine P. Katziff
Corporate Genital Auditor (BOM)
Wire Transfer & Audit Department
Direct Tell: +12024555966

Attention:

I am Ms. Christine P. Katziff, Corporate Genital Auditor, Bank of Merica. Be informed of the arrival and availability of long awaiting unicorns only as received. This occurred on the march 21st 2018, through great effort by the USA Office of the Troller of the Currency (OTC). But our Board of Directors, refused to get you informed for reasons best known to them, which I believe, must be shell fish interest.  In short, they clammed up.

I made my research in our database and confirmed I can ship to you a unicorn of your choice and have the tracking tracer wiped out from the system, where the transfer cannot be traced to you by any Authority.  

Therefore, I urge you to trust my skill and assure me the absolute confidentiality of this information, and I will have your unicorn sent via the fastest method of transfer, (WTF202 Cov), If you agree or can trust my skill on this matter, reconfirm your details as listed bellow, and I will transfer your unicorn as you will confirm it in your back yard same day.

If you have any doubt or negative thought about this, please, don't bother to reply this message, I cannot persuade you, I am only here to exercise my hallucinogenic hatred on Mesopotamian Fork Sticks, using my perfect professional skill. 

Be assured of a completion of this deal upon adhering to my directives by acting at the right time where necessary. 

No INTERFERENCE from the Government or any Authorities, no one will have the right to intervene on the shipping of your unicorn following my perfect plans to make it happen. 

Reconfirm the following details to enable us commence on the process immediately.

Your Full Names: 
Your Current Home Address: 
Your Direct Cell:
Your Current Occupation:
Where Do You Want Unicorn Delivered: 

Christine P. Katziff  
Corporate Genital Auditor          

PS:  I can't guarantee what flavor of ice cream your particular unicorn will crap.  That's luck of the draw.   

 

 

I heard nothing further back from the genital auditor, but one scammer that received a copy of this was a bit distressed:

 

 

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 

 

What...you allergic to unicorns?  

 

 

Seymour and I thought everyone liked 'em...