The Scammer Got This Memo...And Wished He Hadn't

This will be explained shortly.

When I get exceptionally badly-written email scams, my pet rock, Seymour, is all over wanting to edit them.

I was more than happy to comply after we both read this 'thing':


Attn: Benefficaly,

This is to official inform you that your 10,500.000.00 MILLION United state dollars has already deposited into our bank, and it is ready for transfer to you through our bank online transfer, duo the problems your having long time ago in receiving your Funds through ATM VISA CARD diplomat agent delivery, money gram and western union and others Load E.T.C.

This transfer well be completed within 24 hours after contact our transfer department with below email they will attach you form fill it and sign it resend it back to them, this is to enable the president of Benin Republic Hon: Patrice Talon endorse your transfer file, and that is only thing you need to do immediately you received the form from them print out the form fill it and resend it back to them without any delay.

THEY WILL SEND YOU, YOU OUR ONLINE BANK DETAILS LOGIN WEBSITE BANK E-MAIL SITE AND YOUR  ONLINE BANKING  DETAILS FOR THE QUICK MONITORING TRANSFER OF YOUR 10,500.000.00 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS USD, AFTER THEY RECEIVED YOUR INFORMATION AND VERIFIES IT WELL AND CONFIRMED IT, ONCE YOU ARE THROUGH WITH THIS PROCESS?

As of now be informed that all arrangement has been done and concluded, you have to fill the form and forward it as requested as they will request in attach. Therefore you are advised to contact GTB Bank accountant Manager Rev. Erastus Raymond Akingbola with below Email address(om2687752@gmail.com) Thank you once again

We are now waiting to hear from you confirmation of the instruction on how you will like us to transfer your funds, if we should transfer once or half depends on your account type, well be given to you with our website banking information.  


A pretty painful read by any stretch.

Did Seymour help it any?  You decide:


From: Office Moomoo <mailoffice584@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, July 30, 2019 8:54 AM
Subject: Attn: Calling All Benefficalitnariany Sorts

 

Attn: Calling All Benefficalitnariany Sorts

This is to official inform you that you have been declared a Benefficalitnariany Sorts, and entitles you to a FREE WAFFLE IRON from Royal Scotland Bank's "WAFFLE IRON BONANZA" where NO RESTRICTIONS APPLY and is good wherever Royal Scotland Bank is.  Even Uranus*.  it is ready for you through our bank, although...we aren't giving away the same kind of waffle irons that the Royal Scotland Bank is.

Once you meet the requirements necessitated by our laborious disclaimer** and certain other random criteria are applied in a manure noted in the disclaimer**, this transfer well be completed within 24 hours after contact our transfer department with below email...which means it's under this paragiraffe.  You find it, you read it, you muse silently or aloud over it, you mix it, match it, collect the whole set, and THEN you form fill it and sign it resend it back to them.  This will enable the current president of Benin Republic aka the dishonorable Patrice Talon to say "what fork is dis h'yah?".  And then that is only thing you need to do immediately you received the form from them print out the form fill it and resend it back to them without any delay.

At some point, someone may just get around to send you something akin to OUR ONLINE BANK DETAILS LOGIN WEBSITE BANK E-MAIL SITE AND YOUR ONLINE EMAIL WEBSLIGHT DETAILS FOR THE QUICK MONITORING BY FBI OF THE TRANSPORTATION OF YOUR FREE WAFFLE IRON, AFTER THEY RECEIVED YOUR INFORMATION AND VERIFIES IT WELL AND CONFIRMED IT, ONCE YOU ARE THROUGH WITH THIS PROCESS?

Asking for a friend, seeing how that's phrased.

As of now be informed that all arrangement has been done and concluded, but without your online application thing completed as abovementioned, it won't mean twat waddle snot.  You have to fill the form and forward it as requested as they will request in attach. Therefore you are advised to contact WTF Bank accountant Manager Rev. Erastus Raymond Akingbola -- as everyone KNOWS WELL, only a reverend can be a manager in a Benin bank with the way that we run 'em -- with below Email address om2687752@gmail.com   We spank you very much for your prayed-for cooperation, which 'splain why all our Benin bank managers are reverends, like Al Sharpton.

We are now waiting to hear from you confirmation of the instruction on how you will like us to transfer your FREE WAFFLE IRON to you, if we should transfer once or half depends on your WAFFLE IRON TYPE, well be given to you with our website banking information.

*orders from Uranus take 8 years to process and 8 years to deliver.  Just sayin'...

**Disclaimer:  this bank, like all banks in Benin, is subject to change suddenly with some, little, none notice or template redesign.  The Democrap National Crimemittee endorses us, which figures.  Your results will vary, except in the end result.  

 

 

The scammer didn't bother following up with Seymour.  Neither did the four email addresses he used for the DNC.  I think they're figuring out my pet rock won't be voting for their blithering idiots.