Elements Are More Than Just Animals With Big Ears

It's every bit as bizarre in Scamland as it is in the DNC these days.

Nigerian scammers are pushing crap every bit as nonsensical as The Green New Deal.  Much to that Cortez broad's chagrin.

Here's a sample of the latest out of Nigeria...which could easily have come out of the DNC:


YOUR PAYMENT NOTIFICATION
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF)
HEAD OFFICE NO: 77, Obafemi Awolowo Way, Ikeja
LAGOS STATE NIGERIAN.

CHECK HERE VIEW OUR WEBSITE; www.imf.org

IMF -- International Monetary Fund Home Page IMF Home page with links to News, About the IMF, Fund Rates, IMF Publications, What's New, Standards and Codes, Country Information and featured topics www.imf.org

 PLEASE REPLY TO THIS EMAIL== mr.kenrichard2020@gmail.com

                           INSTRUCTION TO RELEASE YOUR FUND
ATTENTION:

This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of
a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been
experiencing in getting your long overdue payment of $15Million  USD due
to excessive demand for money from you by both corrupt Bank officials
and Courier Companies after which your fund remain unpaid to you.

I am Mr. Ken Richard a highly placed official of the International
Monetary Fund (IMF). It may interest you to know that reports have
reached our office by so many correspondences on the uneasy way which
people like you are treated by Various Banks and Courier Companies/
Diplomat across Europe to Africa and Asia /London Uk and we have decided
to put a stop to that and that is why I was appointed to handle your
transaction here in Nigeria. All Governmental and Non-Governmental
prostates, NGOs, Finance
Companies, Banks, Security Companies and Courier companies which have
been in contact with you of late have been instructed to back up from
your transaction and you have been advised NOT to respond to them
anymore since the IMF is now directly in charge of your fund.  


The email went on for several more tortured paragiraffes, but the wonder is that not once were cow farts mentioned therein.

When it came time for a reply -- and an edit -- cow farts were curiously absent from that, too:


From: WTF FUND. Mr Ken Richard <mrjonesrobinson250@gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, March 27, 2019 8:14 AM
Subject: WTF FUND. Mr Ken 'The Dick' Richard.  WE FOUND YOUR PANTS

 

WE FOUND YOUR PANTS NOTIFICATION
WHAT THE F**K
HEAD OFFICE NO: 77, Obafemi Awolowo Way, Ikeja
LAGOS STATE NIGERIAN SLAG PITS.

PLEASE REPLY TO THIS EMAIL== mr.kenrichard2020@gmail.com

                           INSTRUCTION TO RETRIEVE YOUR PANTS
ATTENTION:

This is to intimate you of a very important information which will be of
a great help to redeem you from all the difficulties you have been
experiencing in getting your pants back from here.

I am Mr. Ken 'The Dick' Richard a patently ludicrous figure of the International
Horse of Road Apples (IHRA). It may interest you to know that reports have
reached our office by so many tweets and emails on the uneasy way which
people like you are having their pants found in all sorts of locations.

 We have decided to put a stop to that and that is why I was appointed to handle your pants return here in Nigeria. All Governmental and Non-Governmental
prostates, genitals, bowel movements and other like entities which have been

basically mucking this up have been instructed to back up from contacting you

furtherer and you have been advised NOT to respond to them anymore since

WTF is now directly in charge.

AOC thinks that she's in charge...meh.  She can't find her ass with both hands.

The most annoying thing is that your pants that you left here are badly fouled.

Small wonder you left them here.  You must have run into our government-run

house of ill-repute, and seed all the 400 pound prostitutes they have there.

Truth be told, I'd foul my pants too, if I saw some of them coming my way.

 I do not intend to work here all the days of my life; I have a dream of a small

dacha in an unpillaged portion of Newark where I can see the ocean and not

have to hear the sound of leftist millennials screaming on behalf of dead tree

stumps and that Hellary lost, while frothing at the mouth from noshing Tide

pods.  But first, the issue of returning your pants to you must be fulfilled.

Please this is like a Mafia setting in Nigeria where everyone thinks they're

living a bit like The Sopranos and Breaking Bad, if it were depicted on

South Park. 

You may not understand it because you are not a Nigerian.  I know no one

from Uranus understands it.  If they were from Nigeria, they're probably

prefer Uranus.  Certainly the current #WalkAway movement from the DNC

would vastly prefer Uranus to life in Bela Pelosi's or Maxipad Waters'

respective districts.

In a brief aside -- pun might be intended, we'll see -- the following persons

are up for a Nigerian Emmy for Best Depiction Of A Post Mueller Report

Meltdown in 2019.  The nominees are:

 1) Prof. Charles soludo(CBN)
2)make dave
3) Chief Lamido Sanusi(CBN)
4) John Rob(Barclays bank plc)
5) Mrs Stella Brown(Barclays bank plc)
6) Ronald Franklin
7)  (Federal Reserve Bank of New York)
8) Mr. Ernest Chukwudi Obi
9) Mr. Mike Jombo
Deputy Governor - Policy / Board Member
10) Mr. Tunde Lemo
Deputy Governor - Financial Sector Surveillance / Board Member
(11) Mrs. W. D. A. Mshelia
Deputy Governor - Corporate Services / Board Members
12) Mrs. Okonjo Iweala
13) Mrs. Rita Ekwesili
14)Mr.Rick Ruzzi--Us Bank
15)Mr. Harold Wesley-Citizens Bank Of Canada
16)Mr.Agent Jason Gale-FBI
17)Mr. Grant Watson

18)That Cortez broad from NY's 14th congressional district of fools

19)The View cast

20)Everyone at Berkeley

You are hereby advised NOT to entrust your pants to any of those

folks, even if they win.

Please complete the informations below, just on accounta cuz:

1. Full Name:
2. Address:
3. Nationality:
4. Age: Date of Birth:
5. Occupation:
6. Phone: Mobile/Cellular
7. State of Origin:
8. Copy of your identity Card

9. Address and phone numbers of any virgins you might know

Also Call me (+234-903-485-7049) as soon as you receive the letter so
that I am given some hope that at least one knucklehaid out there will

received this.

Hurry while supplies last.
Mr Ken 'The Dick' Richard
PLEASE REPLY TO THIS EMAIL== mr.kenrichard2020@gmail.com  

 

 

No reply was forthcoming from 'The Dick'.  Nor was one coming from the DNC; they know how bad that Cortez broad is going over, and many of them are guilty of leaving their pants in all sorts of compromising locations.  #Metoo can't keep up.

Someone might see what I just did there...