Everything Imaginable Is So Why Not One More?

The field of announced democraps running to be the nominee of the party of criminals for President just keeps groping.

Er..growing.

It wouldn't surprise me to see inanimate objects jump into the race.  Useless ones already have.

That's not what this particular scammer expected when she sent me what was supposed to be the set-up email before my character was to get fleeced by her and her African scammers down yonder:


Thank you for your mail and your concern for my life in the refugee camp, please, you have to try very well and help me in this prison called Refugee Camp, which I found myself, life in this camp is very hard and It is full of suffering, that a young woman like me does not have to endure it. I'm willing to do anything to make you feel happy when you get there in your country. I am interested in having an efficient and stable communication with you with the use of my own phone and laptop, but I do not have anyone because I do not have the money to buy them. If it were not for the help of Reverend Father Kenneth, who allows me to access mymailbox and communicate with you on your office computer, it would be very difficult for me to contact you.

 

Well, as I already told you, I contacted the bank and was told that, due to my refugee status, I can not claim the money without a foreign trustee, so I believe that with you this transfer will be made without delay once contacts the bank for the transfer. I have already sent a letter of authorization to the bank that recommended him as a foreign Trustee, now the bank expects him to contact them. No problem, the money was deposited by my late father and I am the closest relative and I have no doubts about the claim.

 

After reading this email, be sure to contact the Bank with the following information through this email address: Email:royalbankscotlanddepartment@financier.com

check the following mail very well and copy it and send it to the bank for the transfer. Do not forget to contact me once you contact the bank today, and be sure to call the bank manager to respond to your request and respond immediately, please be sure to contact the bank with your address.

 

 

                        CONTACT THE BANK WITH THE LETTER BELOW

 

THE ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND INTERNATIONAL

The name of the transfer officer is: Mr. Zack William

Email address: royalbankscotlanddepartment@financier.com

 

TELEPHONE: +44 703 181 4720

 Or: +44 778 456 6981

FAX: +44 778 456 6981

Deposit code are as follows.

Account number 08361017721

Name of the depositor: Dr. Ibrahim Coulibaly

Nationality: Ivory Coast, in Africa

Nearest family: Miss Cynthia Ibrahim

Amount deposited: $ 11,500, 000, 00 million dollars

 

                  Director, English Section of the Department of Foreign Operations

 

I wish to nominate Cynthia Ibrahim Coulibaly as the Trustee, the closest relative to the Sergeant. Ibrahim Coulibaly from Ivory Coast, who died on April 28, 2011, claimed his balance of ($ 11,500, 000, 00 million dollars) from his ACCOUNT NUMBER 08361017721 and ROUTE NO: 9107364, I want to know the legal procedure of transferring the mentioned fund to my bank account; now I demand your kind help for the urgent consideration of my request.

 

THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION IS THE FOLLOWING:

 

HOLDER OF THE SGT ACCOUNT. IBRAHIM COULIBALY

AMOUNT OF $ 11.5 MILLION DOLLARS

FOLLOWING FROM KIN MISS Cynthia IBRAHIM

ACCOUNT NUMBER CDSB / N ° 08361017721

ROUTING NO: 9107364

 

My name:...........

Tel: ....................  

 

 

As one can see, the latter half of that was meant for my character to forward to the scammer's bank.  And my character did...just not in the manure intended by the scammer:

 

 

Email address: royalbankscotlanddepartment@financier.com

TELEPHONE: +44 703 181 4720

 Or: +44 778 456 6981

FAX: +44 778 456 6981

Deposit code are as follows.

Account number 09472128832

Name of the depositor: Dr. Frank Unsteen

Nationality: Uranus, 8th planet in Solar Plexus, some distance from Africa

Nearest family: Miss Frau Blucher *horse whinny*

Amount deposited: That's the problem

 

                  Director, Yoruba-Writing Section of the Department of Foreign Tongues

 

I wish to nominate a violated tree stump to run for presidency of the USA as a democrap on this day April 28, 2019; it has all the qualifications necessary as measured against the current announced candidates, but with a third less baggage and no known YouTube groping videos. I want to know how illegal I can make this procedure before the abject dolts at CNN and MS13NBC actually notice that anything's amiss...or a mister...or some peculiar gender variant that hasn't yet gained traction in Kaliforlornia courts but will be demanding bathroom access in the next year and a half or so.  Now I demand your kind of sublemon help for the urgent consideration of my demanded request.

 

THE CANDIDATE'S INFORMATION IS THE FOLLOWING:

 

HOLDER OF THE TITLE CANDIDATE:  Gender Neutral Non Binary Violated Tree Stump the 4 Trillionth

PARTY SEEKING NOMINATION OF:  Democrap National Crimemittee Party

CRIMEPAIGN SLOGAN:  "Oh F**k Why Not; Everything Else Is!"

ACCOUNT NUMBER CDSB / N °09472128832

ROUTING NO: 9107364

 

I have the horror to be on a daily basis,

Jack N. Ewehoff

Crimepaign Chair

(a Lazy Boy breaking bad)  

 

 

The purported scammer claiming to be the Royal Bank of Scotland proved satisfyingly illiterate in his reply:


ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND PLC.  

The Royal Bank of Scotland plc, registered in Scotland
No 45551.Registered Office In UK
No.36 St Andrew Square Edinburgh H22YB.
TELEPHONE, +44 703 181 4720 or +44 844 774 3715
04/ 29 /2019

For Your Kind Attention 

SIR

I have been directed by the director of Foreign Operation/Wire Transfer to write you in respect to your mail which we have received. Actually,we have earlier been told about you by the young lady Miss  CYNTHIA IBRAHIM that she wishes you to be her trustee/representative for the claim her late father's deposit with our bank.  Late.

DR  IBRAHIM COULIBALY  is our late customer with account no. CDSB/N° 08361017721  A substantial amount(US $11.5 million ) of deposit with us. Hence you have been really appointed as a trustee to represent the next of Kin.However before our bank will transact any business concerning the transfer of the fund with you, we will like you to send the followings:

( 1).A power of attorney and affidavit of oath permitting you to claim and transfer the funds to your bank account on her behalf. Note:This Power of attorney must be endorsed by a Senegalese resident lawyer (since the money is originated from Africa and the Girl is Currently residing in Senegal).
 

(2).A copy of Deposit Certificate of the account issued to DR IBRAHIM COULIBALY  by our bank.

Note that the above are compulsory, and are needed to protect our interest,yours, the next of kin after the claims. These shall also ensure  a smooth, quick and successful transfer of the fund will be make within 48 hours at reception of these documents. Also you have to send your account information which will facilitate this fund as soon as these documents are been provided.Therefore You have to hurry up to present these documents to our bank to enable us wire the fund ( USD $11.5million   ) into your account. We promise to give our customers the best of our services.

Yours Faithfully,

Being the good Christian that my character sometimes almost is, they were given a second chance at reading comprehension by having their email edited and sent back as this reply:


ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND PLC.  

The Royal Bank of Scotland plc, registered in Scotland
No 45551.Registered Office In UK
No.36 St Andrew Square Edinburgh H22YB.
TELEPHONE, +44 703 181 4720 or +44 844 774 3715
04/ 29 /2019

For Your Especially Peculiar Kind of Attention

SIR

I have been directed by Clint Eastwood to get off his lawn. Actually, we have earlier been told about you by several of the many versions of the young lady Miss  CYNTHIA IBRAHIM that she wishes she could read what you write and send back to her, because she's not entirely sure that you're of sound mind and willing remainder.  After we attempted to read your last reply to us, we're not so sure either, so allow us to recap the scheme we're attempting to pull off here.

A Late drunken orangutan someone cleverly named DR  IBRAHIM COULIBALY  is our late customer with account no. CDSB/N° 197250128810 containing a safety deposit box full of pictures of Adam Schiff leaving a Motel 6 at 3am all bug-eyed after he had sex with an inflatable emu that was wearing a Hellary 2016 mask.  And frankly, we have no f**king idea what is to be done with it.

Then several of the active versions of Cynthia Ibrahim Coulibaly came up with your address, and we literally fouled ourselves in delight.  Often times that's how it goes in a fly-infested internet cafe in a Third World sh*thole like here.

However before our bank will transact any business concerning the transfer of the fund with you, we will like you to send the followings:

(1). A mythical power of atturkey and affidavit of assorted colorfully metaphoric oaths directing you or someone looking like you to claim that Russians are infiltrating black market Viagras into the USA in a brazen attempt to interfere with erections there. Note:This mythical Power of atturkey must be endorsed by a Senegalese gender neutral non-binary octosexual orthopod registered with the Democrap National Crimemittee by no later than soonest if not soonerer.
 

(2).A copy of What Happened by Hellary Rodehard Clinton, transcribed in Azerbaijani, and issued by our bank.

Note that the above are gender neutralitory, and are needed to protect a sex trafficking three-peckered goat named Achmed. He was last seen going ape-sh*t in a ewe convent in upper Newark.

These shall also ensure that someone at YouTube will come up with a suitable video, in case you aren't cooperating with us. Therefore You have to hurry up to present these documents to our bank to enable us to get rid of the aforementioned safety deposit box before Hellary arranges for our "suicide".

We promise you'll find this experience akin to passing a kidney stone the size of a soccer ball.

This time around, someone on their end seemed to actually understand what was sent back to them.  And shared this revelation with Ms C.I. Coulibaly: 

 

 

you have ruin everything for me

 

 

You're welcome.  That's what democraps do best.

 

 

A tree stump like this might just cost Bernie some illegal votes.  Think he'll notice?  If he starts taking selfies with low information voters, that might be a hint...