Cultural Appropriation Of The Dead

I kinda get a kick out of scammer emails that start out by asking if my character is dead or not.

Kinda like they're expecting an answer if my character is, in fact, dead.

It always lapses into the same basic spiel as most scam emails.  Like this one:


Dear Beneficiary,Ref: FJD /DHL/STB,We have sent you several  emails without reply from you,are you still alive?A man from  Mexico contacted our office
stating that you give him order to  claim your funds on your behalf.
Your email was given to this  office in respect of your total inherited
/compensation sum owed  to you which you have failed to claim
because of either non- compliance of official processes or because
of your unbelief of  the reality of your genuine payment.You are
hereby notified that  your Inheritance/Contract Payment of Five
million United States  Dollars (5,000,000,00) has been approved
to be made to you  through UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA ATM
Visa Card.The total funds due  to you will be processed and pro-
grammed into an ATM Cash card  that will be dispatched to your
designated address Through DHL  COURIER SERVICE.Your
ATM CARD can be assess in any ATM  Stand/location world-
wide at the maximum rate of $5,000.00 USD  dollars per day.
Your ATM VISA CARD has been registered for
delivery this morning, you are subjected to respond to this email
and provide us with the following requirements to enable us
commence action in processing the delivery of your ATM VISA CARD
immediately to your designated address. Contact us at.

KINDLY FILL IN THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:
Your Full Name:
Your Country:
Your State:
Your City:
Your Cell Phone Number:
Your Delivery Address:
Your Current Occupation:
Your age and Sex:
Your Next Of Kin Name:
Your Next Email Address:

The use of the ATM Cash card is to by-pass the rigorous
documentations that has resulted in the delays and demands for
obnoxious fees by corrupt officials of government and ensure that
you receive your due payment expeditiously.We require your
maximum co-operation and understanding to proceed with this
arrangement which has been designed to favor you.
Yours faithfully.
From Hon Sylvester.  

This used to be my initial reaction to such emails:

But it wasn't long before this look was replaced with this one:

I can't say the same reaction was garnered from the scammers after my character had doctored their initial emails.  Like this one:


From: OFFICIAL MASSAGE <ip@inte.com>
Sent: Wednesday, May 1, 2019 8:08 PM
To: fartingjackwabbits101@hotmail.com
Subject: AS A CORPSE DID YOU RECEIVE MY MESSAGE!!! REPLY EXPECTED OF CORPSE OR NOT

 

Dear Beneficerary, Ref: OMG /WTF/ARG

We have send you several emails without reply from you.  This

lead us to believe that you are technologically inept, without

email, of total indifference or you are deader than a can of corned

beef.

This is of some level of interest to us because a man from
La Mancha contacted our office stating that you give him order

for two taco supremes with side of guacamole and him is of

opinion that you are not of the right racial make up to place

this order making it cultural appropriation, a crime deemed

punishable by everything imaginable at the dregs of media,

cnn.  

Your email was given to this office in respect of getting to

your bottom which you have failed to bear because of either non-
compliance of official processes or because of your unbelief of
the reality of your being dead, alive and in either case failing to

bear that which is your bottom. 

You are hereby notified that you must bear your bottom and

soonest whether it is that you are dead or alive, or in some

stage of in-betweenst.  The UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA

could really care less about your bottom, but a reply to

resolve this question is demanded there.  They apparently

have nothing else to do I guess.

KINDLY FILL IN THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:
Your Full Name:
Your Country:
Your State:
Your City:
Your Cell Phone Number:
Your Delivery Address:
Your Current Occupation:
Your age and Sex:
Your Next Of Kin Name:
Your Next Email Address:

Attach photo of your bared bottom

You must also renege your culturally appropriated order of

two taco supremes with side of guacamole unless you can

provide proof of your racial make up that verifies that you

are from a race that is allowed to place such orders, as

demanded by the dregs of media at cnn.  Which probably

explains why cnn is at the very bottom of the outhouse pit

of credibility in the civilized world.

We require your maximum co-operation and basic lack of

understanding to proceed with this arrangement which has

been designed to favor nothing remotely looking like you.
Yours faithfully.
From Hon Sylvester.  

 

 

From the lack of any reply to this edit, my limited stable of scambaiting/scam-editing characters concludes that the scammer's reaction was akin to this:

 

Game, set, match.