Of Methane And Money

South Park's notion of Canadians -- aka, Terrence & Philip -- aren't the end of interests in methane.

An alleged Syrian email scammer -- Dr. Moussa Ibrahim -- found out that methane and money can have some curious connections.

Witness, if you will/dare/can, the entire contact thread between Dr. Ibrahim, and my dubious character, Ukulele Ungabunga:

From: Dr. Moussa Ibrahim <moussaibrahim@mail.bg>
Sent: Wednesday, March 1, 2017 8:43 AM
Subject: Proposal

 

Dear,

                                Proposal

I am Dr. Moussa Ibrahim from Aleppo in Syria.  Before the war come to us I was money controller for large contracting firm in Aleppo where I could add charges to billings to foreign contractors.  Over time this overcharges come to about $30 million USD that I and my partner managed to hide in consignment boxes sent to a security company in Amsterdam, Netherlands.  My partner was killed during war here so meanwhile, I am contacting you because I find your informations in a business register online and I need your help as a foreign person to access these fund now in Amsterdam.

I will like to discuss with you to know the possibility of how we can co-operate and work together as business partner. Please if you are interested to assist me kindly get back to me for us to discuss on how to transfer the fund from the security company under your custody.

Thank you for your understanding.
Waiting for your urgent reply,
Best Regards,
Dr. Moussa Ibrahim.

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I am gratified, if a bit nonplused, that you would choose me for this dubious adventure.  My name is Ukulele Ungabunga and you say you find me in a business register?  Curiosity put a kilt on a cat.  What roll do you see me in?

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Thank you for your reply Mr. Ukulele.  Where are you from please?

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I emigrated from Uranus to Liechtenstein two years ago. Good thing there were no border fences at the space port.  

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Really?  how long was this to do?

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It seemed like forever in the travel phase. Meteors are a problem.... But I here and abnormally adjusted gravitationally. What can I do for you?

 

 

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I have actually been inflating charges to foreign contractors here in Syria prior

to the breakout of war here that over time come to more than $30 million USD

that I and my dead partner placed in consignment boxes with a security company

in Amsterdam that require the both of us to retrieve.  The security company does

not know what the consignment boxes contain as we reported it to be financial

recordings, not the cash it really is.

Now that my dead partner cannot cooperate with me, I need you to stand in

as my dead partner so that we can retrieve the consignment boxes.  I have

work out all modalities and arrangement, but I need you to represent as

my partner so the security company will allow transfer of the consignment

boxes under your care.

These boxes are protected by the governing body of the United Nations Monetary

Unit and the International Monetary Fund (IMF).

In this regards, you are to contact and furnish the requested information to
the Controller of Global Securities Holdings Inc with the followings;

1. Your Name:
2. Country :
3. Age :
4. Occupation :
5. Mobile Telephone:
6. Delivery Address:
7. Zip Code:
8. Marital status:

Scan copy of any of your identification:

I Dr. Moussa Ibrahim hereby declared  that, all the above information
produced by me are true.

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Granted, I am still getting used to all this here.  From my reading, this

certainly sounds like lots of value, what which you talk.

If you want me to play dead, I think I can do this.  I teach my pet

tarantula to do this.  He not so good at sit or beg yet.

Where I am from, we do not use paper or metal things that represent

value with which we obtain things or exchange things.  On Uranus,

our "coin of the realm" if you will is methane.

 

 

  I was recently chastised by a Liechtensteinian constable for lunging after

a woman that -- if I have this term right -- "farted" most largely and loudly

in front of me, because on Uranus, that is deemed wealth.  Having 30 anum

cubic particulates of methane is very very good there.  Here..it causes people

to run and make faces.

 

What do I do next?

After that reply, Dr. Ibrahim apparently had someone read the emails that he had been glossing over...and he wouldn't has more speaks with me.  Too bad, too:  I was working on explaining how that Starbucks cup wound up on Uranus...Mars...wherever.