Friday, March 17, 2017

The Edit of Khan

Okay, that photo there would be the edit of con...or of a con.

Russia may be in love with hacking, but India is in love with offering online web page design to those not soliciting for it.

Why?  On accounta cuz:

I had found your web contact email from internet. I would like to discuss some importance of business as you have registered your own domain (which I haven't).
We are an India based CMMi Level 3 Website Designing & Development Company with a primary focus on Website and Mobile Application Development.
Offering the services like-
1 - Web Design
2 - Web Development
3 - E-Commerce
4 - Graphic Design
5 - Logo Design
6 - Website Revamping
7 - PHP               
9 - SEO Services
10 - PPC Services
11 - Java
12 - Mobile Apps Development
Our design team can work closely with you as part of your marketing staff and we can assure you - you won’t even notice we are in another country.
If you have any requirement, please revert us. 
Look forward to hear from you. 
Kind regards,
(Business Consultant)  
This isn't the first one of these my character has got, and I'm sure it won't be the last.  But it was the emailer's name that got me:  Akashi Khan Singh.
You just KNOWD what had to be the direction of the edit:
From: akash khan singh <>
Sent: Friday, January 13, 2017 11:02 AM
Subject: More Eugenics Wars Khan Style

I had found your web contact email from internet after waking up from hibernation sleep that lasted 200 years. That would mean that I was carbon freezed in..uh...umm...1816, a year after the Battle of New Orleans.  Fortunately, it was a long time ago and a galaxy far, far away from here, otherwise I wouldn't know sh*t one about what I just said. 

With that, I come from a place far beyond the mesocyclones of commerce and trade, and I would like to discuss how Fisher Stevens got playing us so wrong in that movie he shared with cyborgs and Ally Sheedy's software.
But before that, it is well that you should know that your current website sucks, and of some importance is business as you have registered your own domain with romaine, so you should lettuce help you.
We are an Andromeda based CMMi Level 39 artificial intellectual sweetened Website that designs and develops cyber hacks of politicians while making it look like the Russians, Chinese, pekinese and other assordi and sundried raisins of dubious ediblecedence did it.  Here's some of the sh*t that we can do to your site, too:

1 - Web Dysentery
2 - Web Declination and Right/Left Add/Subtract
3 - E-Coli
4 - Graphic Demonstrations of Gestures In Traffic
5 - Rio Logo
6 - Webslight Revamping Reconstituting and Regurgitating
7 - PHP/OMG/WTF and LMAO      
8 - HTML and Why They Should Use Originally Designated Rest Rooms
9 - DEO..DEEEEEEO...Daylight come and we want go home
10 - PPC Services that PPC in your life that desperately needs it's PPC serviced
11 - Java:  The Evils Of Coffee And Why I Need More
12 - Mobile Apps, Mishaps And Lap Dance Devolutions In HR Departments
Our crap design team can work better without you any where around because we don't play well with others and we can assure you - you won’t even notice we from another galaxy, star system, dimension, planet, or the basement of the DNC, leaking all the hacked stuff to the Russians, Chinese, the fake news network cnn, etc.
If you have any requirement, please refrain and revamp hitherto revert us. 
Look forward to hear what reactions this email gets because we still practicing with your language from you. 
What Kind Of Regards We'd Hate To Say,
(Business Insultant)

So far, no follow up from the Indians, no hacks from the Russians and no comment from cnn.  I'm 3-0  ;-)

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Blogger Sandee said...

Crap design team is right. I'm so glad Obama is gone. Or is he?

Have a fabulous day and weekend, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

17 March, 2017 11:27  

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