Monday, February 27, 2017

Sumpin Else Is Daid Too

South Park's Eric Cartman once had a curious dissertation about rainbows, what they did and why he hated them.

Kenneth Donald may find hisself in agreement with Cartman shortly.

Mr. Donald sent me this curious email:


Mrs Habibah Fenyang died sometime now

 It is my humble
self to introduce my self to you as Mr Donald Kenneth. I used to be
the personal assistant
to Mrs Habibah Fenyang.

The news now is that she died some time now. She died of cancer
infection. She made me to understand before her demise that her
Estate/Fund amounting to $118,000,000 has been
on due process to be transferred to you as the beneficiary.i want to
use this opportunity to inform you that there is a new development in
the transfer of the $118,000,000 dollars from GTbank UK to your
account due to security reasons.

The management of GTbank UK in conjuncture with the British monetary
authority has instructed the Regional global bank United State to
process your fund transfer valued the
sum of $118,000,000 dollars via their online system of banking.

As at 17th,Nov, 2016. as at 1:21pm (GMT), i received a
message from the
GTbank informing me that they have sent a REFERENCE/PAYMENT INSTRUCTION
LETTER to the management of Regions Global Bank United State with an
authorization to
initiate your inheritance transfer upon proper documentation.

You are therefore advised to await an update message from the
Management of Regions
Global Bank United State Of America or you can as well contact them on
the below contact
details.

Regions Global Bank.
318 E Main St,Siloam Springs,
Arkansas, 71601 United State
Email:
info@regionsglobal.cu.cc
reglobalbk@accountant.com
Phone: +1 (817) 591-4724
            +1 (561) 320-1437
            +1 (561) 320-1478.

Henceforth, i Mr Donald will be communicating with you from UK
according to the instruction given to me by late Mrs Habibah Fenyang.
May her gentle soul rest in peace, Amen.

You can as well call me on my direct phone number +447042059494 or
send an email to me on
donaldkenneth40@gmail.com.

Kindly get back to me as soon as you have open a contact with the Bank.

Mr Donald Kenneth
+447042059494  


Being the sort that I am, I got right on that...with an edit:


Mrs Flying Habibat Humanitoid Fenyang died sometime now then later earlier...WTF, she daid


It is my humble self to introduce my self to you as Mr Donald Kenneth, a conubial
personal assistant to Mrs Flying Habibat Humanitoid Fenyang.

The news now is that she died some time now. There may be more news on this
later.  She died of crapping herself to bits after mistaking a box of Exlax for
Ghiradelli Holiday Chocolates Collection.  Never one for reading labels and
understanding words contextually, she could confuse endorphin and enema
with the ease of a low information democrap not knowing what the definition
of "is" is.  Kinda like when they hired a low information contractor from Ellendale
to build outhouses in Nigeria, only to have them converted to fly infested internet
cafes.
She made me to understand before her demise that her Estate/Fund amounting
to $118.00 has been on The View and was flattened by Whoopi Goldbrick when
she sat on it.
 I want to abuse this opportunity to inform you that there is a new development in
the $118.00 now wedged in Goldbrick's ass:  the management of GTbank UK in
collusion with the Clinton Globull Crimedation has instructed the Regional United State
to fetch the $118.00 from the cleft of Goldbrick's ass, rinse it off, and give it to you
in the form of tickets to the Hellary Defeat Snatched From The Jaws of Victory
pity party on January 20, 2017.

As at 17th,Nov, 2016. as at 1:21pm (GMT), i received a message from the GT bank
informing me that they have sent a cyber Pokémon character to stand outside the
entrance to the Regions Global Bank United State along with a hidden camera so
they can watch people on their cell phones gather by the throng and walk into
traffic and sh*t trying to capture the little bastard.

You are therefore advised to await an update message from the janitorial staff
of Regions Global Bank United State Of America or you can as well contact them on
the below contact details.

Regions Global Bank.
318 E Main St, Siloam Springs,
Arkansas, 71601 United State
Email:
info@regionsglobal.cu.cc
reglobalbk@accountant.com
Phone: +1 (817) 591-4724
            +1 (561) 320-1437
            +1 (561) 320-1478.

Henceforth, i Mr Donald will be communicating with a trained wart hawg
with the psychic ability of a door knob to seek guidance to impart to you
from UK according to the instruction given to me by late Mrs Flying Habibat
Humanitoid Fenyang.  May her illiterate soul never see the studio of
Wheel of Fortune.  Amen.

You can as well call me on my direct phone number +447042059494 or
send an email to me on
donaldkenneth40@gmail.com.

Kindly get back to me as soon as you have open a contact with the Bank.

Mr Donald Kenneth
+447042059494
 

Meanwhile, it is assumed that Mrs Whatzername is still daid.  If Whoopi sat on her, count on it.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Nice rewrite. I can't stand that loud mouthed Whoopi. She's another know it all Hollyweird type.

Have a fabulous day. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

27 February, 2017 10:24  

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