The FauxBI Post-Hellary Fumble

Okay, this isn't the FBI logo, but it fits.

Y'all know that the FauxBI director, James Comey, wet himself to avoid indicting hellary Clinton with crimes over the email scandal, even while pointing out that she was dishonest, careless and likely exposed secret information to enemies of this nation like Russia, China, msnbc and cnn.

Well, there hasn't been much in the news on the FauxBI since then.

But the scammers love them this FauxBI scam; I get several a month in James Comey's name.

Here's a brief reprise of the gist of my latest one:

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)
Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC

Dear Beneficiary,

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $10,500.000.00 due to past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate to the current president of Nigeria his Excellency President Muhammadu Buhari to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery/Gambling, Inheritance and the likes. Now how would you like to receive your payment? Because we have two method of payment which is by Check or by ATM card?

ATM Card: We will be issuing you a custom pin based ATM card which you will use to withdraw up to $12,000 per day from any ATM machine that has the Master Card Logo on it and the card have to be renewed in 5 years time which is 2021. Also with the ATM card you will be able to transfer your funds to your local bank account. The ATM card comes with a handbook or manual to enlighten you about how to use it. Even if you do not have a bank account.  


Like Director Comey hasn't got better things to do?  Unless after literally punting his integrity and ethics to give hellary a pass -- perhaps arranged at the Phoenix airport between Bill and Loretta Lynch about a week earlier -- he figures he hasn't got much of a job left.

*TOING*

So while hellary runs around lying about what Comey said before Congress -- and anyone who watched the proceedings KNOWS she's lying, because her mouth is open -- Comey is looking for a post FauxBI career.

And that factored into the edit:

Fauxderal Bureau of Substandard Investigation (FBSI)
Counter-Truth Division and Cyber Crime Ignoring Bliss Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC

 After months of investigation and finding that hellary lies like a cheap rug and probably exposed every last one of Bill Clinton's female intern genital humidor addresses to the Russians, Chinese, Uranus Mugwumps and about anyone else within 100 million light years -- only to wet myself by saying we can't prosecute the bitch 'cuz I don't wanna wind up like Vince Foster -- I need a new job, because it's obvious that I severely suck at doing this one.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol, the United Nations and Fauxderal Bureau of Substandard Investigation have successfully passed a mandate that I suck and that I need to find a new job.  Now how would you like to help me find a new job? Because I don't want to share a seat on hellary's crimepaign with that Medusa looking Debbil Wasserpuss Schultz; besides, I don't handle broom travel well at all.

     Note: Everything has been taken care of by the Federal Government of Nigeria, who has copies of every last email hellary ever wrote, sent, deleted and denied ever having seen, read, writ, sent and/or deleted.  The United Nation and also the Russian NKVD or whatever the bullshevik they call themselves these days also have copies of all that crap.  In order to keep hellary's crimepaign flying monkeys from doing a Jimmy Hoffa on me, you need to send her crimepaign $350.  This is all you will ever need to pay until her crimepaign wants more.

 

 

DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU READ THIS: a skeleton clatters into a local bar and orders a beer and a mop.  Now send the gawddamned money.

Confirm that you've bought all this sh*t by emailing the turd lipped twatwaffle below:  

Name: Agent Max Miller
Email: max.miller50@yahoo.com

You are advised to contact him and confirm to him that he is, indeed, a turd lipped twatwaffle.  Kinda like this hellary flying monkey she bought and paid for in the media.

 Upon receipt of your payment the hellary crimepaign will temporarily remove your name from the list of people she doesn't like and plans to ship to FEMA camps once she's got her filthy, dishonest hands on the Bill's old orifice.  Which is my fault because I was too pussy to do my job.  Which is why I need a new one.

 

 

 Yours sincerely,

James B ComeyTELEPHONE: (206) 629-2824

Note: Do not disregard any email you get from any hellary crimepaign posers, operatives, impostors or douche nozzled asshats.  That will make hellary break a sh*it load of lamps and yank testicles off male staff not fast enough to run.  

 

 

Anybody hiring?  James might be need a job...