More A Dem Negative Waves

The pet rock, Element, says that Mona Lisa will never forgive me.

I responded "that's for her to pick and choose"...which got a pair of pet rock *face palms*.

And I digress.

Middle Eastern princes.  There must be more of them than there are democrap-paid whistle blowers willing to push false narratives.  My scambaiting character has heard from untold dozens of them.

Here we go with one more:


Assalamalakum!!!

I got your reliable contact from a business diary and further explicit investment information about your country. I am Prince Fayad S. Bolkiah, the eldest son of Prince Jefri Bolkiah, former Finance Minister of Brunei, the tiny oil-rich sultanate on the Gulf Island. I will save your time by not amplifying my extended royal family history, which has already been disseminated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my Father and his step brother, the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Bolkiah.
As you may know from the international media, the sultan had accused my father of financial mismanagement and impropriety of US$14.8 Billion dollars. This was as a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my father's company Amedeo Development Company and government owned Brunei Investment Company to be declared bankrupt during his tenure in office. However my father was kept
under house arrest, his bank accounts and private Properties including a crude oil export refinery were later confiscated by the sultanate. Furthermore during this unfortunate period, I was advised to evacuate my immediate family outside the sultanate to avoid further prosecution from the sultan and his security operatives, but before I could do that I was placed under house arrest by the Sultan and have no access to a phone but I have a Palm hand-held computer from which I am sending you this mail.
Some of the guard here are still loyal to me, so they would be my contact with you if there is any document I need to send to you to enable you collect the boxes of money on my behalf.Before my incarceration, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of Five Hundred Million United States Dollars (US$500,000,000.00) in cash under special arrangement into the custody of different private security and Trustee companies for safe keeping abroad. Just like an
unspecified amount of money Sadam Husseine took out of Iraq in cash .

The money were splited and kept in the following countries in this proportion: US$ 50 Million is in South Africa,US$120 Million is in Spain, US$120 Million is in Britain, US$110 Million is in United Arab Emirate and the balance US$US100 Million is in Holland. Hence I seek your good assistance to invest these funds into profitable investment in your country to facilitate future survival for my family abroad. After due deliberation with my aids we have decided to offer 20% of these funds to you as compensation for your strong cooperation while 5% have been mapped out for both local and international expenses that may be incurred during this transaction.
Please I count on your absolute confidentiality, transparency and trust while looking forward to your prompt reply towards a swift conclusion of this business transaction.
You may contact me so that i will let you
know the next thing to do.

Many Thanks and may Allah's blessing remain with you. I remain Your's in brotherhood,   

I'm sure that the scammer thought this to be convincing.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

While it might fool ill-educated college snowflakes, cnn or dems on the House (Lack of) Intel committee, it got ho brutha *eye rolls* from both pet rocks AND my scambaiting character.

It needed some hep.  Fortunately, my character was willing to donate some time to hep it:

From: Princess Fayad S. Boinking <frankdavconsult@gmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, November 12, 2019 2:16 PM
To: jackedupkicks@hotmail.com
Subject: Attn Slur Coming

 

 

Assaholea Gesundheit!!!

I got your antecedally dubious contact from a bovine dairy and a micro craft brewery for camel urine in Yemen. I am Princess Fayad S. Boinking, the former eldest son of Prince Jefri Boinking, former Finance Minister of Fast Achmed's New & Used Sex Toy Camels of Teheran, the only purveyor of virgin and rebushed sex camels in the Middle East with branches at the DNC and Newark.

I will save your time by not amplifying my fallacious but amusingly-illustrated royal famdamily history, which has already been eviscerated by the international media during the controversial dispute that erupted between my desire to change my gender status to female non-binary quad-sexual bovine and protest groups like Nomads That Believe Epstein Didn't Kill Himself, with the sultan of Brunei Sheik Muda Hassanal Boinking staying strictly confused.

As you may know from the international media, the sultan of swing had accused my 24th cousin twice removed for drunkenness of sexual mismanagement and impropriety of molesting tree stumps in a petrified forest on a recent illegal border crossing to get free Hellary for Excuse-Making Tours 2017-2020 t-shirts. This was as a result of her failure to come up with a credible excuse so far. 

Furthermore during this unfortunate period, I was horrorfied to learn that the intellectually failed TV show The View failed to gain syndication on Uranus, despite the place being a natural fit for the show's host's heads.  This later resulted in me being advised to evacuate my collection of weasel appendages outside the sultanate to avoid further prosecution during midnight at the oasis handicapped bowling.  But before I could do that I was placed under a house by some deranged broad on a broom that claimed "it was MY turn!" and now I have no access to a phone but I have a Palm hand-held dildo which has somehow channeled ruby red slippers from which I am sending you this mail.

Technology is the bomb....which is not always what it seems in the Middle East, and I digress.

Some of the scientists here who just signed on to a declaration that listening to Greta Thuneberg is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard, just recently declared that four out of every five of them are sexually aroused by sock lint build up between their toes.  As such, I would probably not expect them to be of much help as my contact with you if there is any document I need to send to you to enable you to make a valid claim on my weasel appendage collection.  It consists basically of pictures of leading American democrap politicians violating their oaths and chicken sandwiches on Epstein's island on my behalf.

Before my decision to become the 58th declared gender option, I went ahead to dispatch the sum of Five Hundred Million flying monkeys to the United States under special arrangement into the custody of different whistle-blowing primates that as an orchestra, sound like the brown note on South Park. Just like a made-up dossier is being used by pencil neck Adam Schiff to undermine all credibility in the DNC now.

Right now, I don't have any outfit.  While everyone is running around trying to be heroes, I am holding myself in reserve, in case the krauts launch a counterattack that threatens Paris, or even New York...then I can move in and stop them.  The credit will be split-d amongst the Quorum of the Twelve, with dispensation to run at Belmont as a 30-1 long shot.  Hence I seek your good assistance to book this at a Vegas sports book in time for March Madness brackets challenges on Yahoo.  After due deliberation with my aids we have decided to offer up a dozen life-size inflatable sex toys that resemble all the democraps on the House Lack of Intel committee to you as compensation for your failing to grasp what I just did there.

Please I count on your absolute gullible ignorance while looking for more like you online.
You may contact me so that i will let you know that I'm asking this for a friend.

Many Thanks and may the blessing of an ancient pedophile afflict your stuffed animals,

Princess Fayad S. Boinking.

Note: You can visit the websites of your choice for a good time when you text 'Rosie Did Mine With A Salad Shooter' to 1-900-ACK-FOOY.   

Alas, the scammer wasn't looking for the kind of hep his scam template truly needed.  Or he/she/55 other gender choices are researching what could possibly be the 58th one.  Which I take to be two genders, a couple anomalies, and 50 plus (and growing) mental illnesses.