Skunkfeathers: Testimonkey At The Impeachment Coicus

Carnac would be having a field day.

Honestly, I am surprised that my pet rock, Seymour, hasn't yet been subpoenaed to testify at the impeachment shenanigan being staged by the stupidest ranking chair of the House UnIntelligence Crimemittee ever to exist, Adam Pencil Neck Schiff. Schiff already called a door knob and a tree stump with no working knowledge of the subject at hand, but can coach them *wink wink* to TRUMPet whatever he leads them to say.

He is all you need to know about why Kaliforlornia and the democrap party are self-imploding.

But I digress.

More scams from the Middle East:

I am Masood Ali Khan, a Pakistani investor, trader & oil merchant resident in Dubai, UAE. I'm in search of a credible individual or company that needs an investment in their business or company portfolio or require funds to invest in a reliable and lucrative business.I'm therefore contacting you because I have funds available for Investment and need help investing these funds in profitable ventures. Kindly contact me if I can be of help to you. please contact me if interested.

Kind regards,
Masood Ali Khan.

His email seems Taylor Swift-made to be wedged into the impeachment scam, since they be scams from the same yo-mama:

I am Masood Ali Baba Khan Singh Jones , a Pakistani incestor, traitor & snake oil merchant in Dubai Dubai Du, UAE. I've just been subpoenaed to testify in the court jester of the House Lack of Intelligence Crimemittee, Adam 'Pencil Neck' Schiff, top clown.

He heard I had some gob smack heresy in my famdamily tree, and frankly I don't think he realizes what that means, but eh...he's a moronic democrap doofus that can't breathe without being told to by George Sharpai Soros. So with that in mind -- which includes a chorus of Epstein didn't kill himself -- I has beginned a soich for the most in-or-uncredible individual who is willing to say anything for five bucks or do an hour with a Bela Pelosi life-size inflatable sex toy (it leaks, it squeaks, it stutters, it never sobers up) -- either/or -- that can stand in as me and testifry as me because not one of those democrap nippleheads on that crimemittee has a clue about who I really is.

Besides, I was just hired by the anal exploratory Hellary in 2020 crimemittee to register dead Liechtensteinians to vote multiple times in NY state when she decides she can manage her triple-wide broom without falling off more than a few times.

This is a ludicrous and unreliable business. I'm therefore contacting you because I have heard things posted in unisex bathrooms about you that quite frankly make my art collection dubious and unsettled in ways and curds that make sense if you're using hallucinogens.