A New Year, A New Edit

A cat facing a plateful of broccoli never reckoned on this.  Even less so did the screaming blonde.

Welcome to 2020.  This begins this blog's 21st year of messing with email scammers.

Yeah, surprises me too.  But it keeps my pet rocks entertained.

We begin the new year with another UN scam, one wherein the scammer tried to mix the scam with the Bible.
That's quite a scam in and of itself, mixing the unmixable.  But eh:


3 Whitehall Court,
London,
SW1A 2EL
United Kingdom
Tel: + 44 209 766 3454
Fax: + 44 207 001 1381
General enquiries: info@un.org.uk
Membership: membership@una.org.uk
Customer care........... unceffoff@gmail.com

Attention Beneficiary

Series of meetings have been held over the past 7 months with the
secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3
days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is
to the tune of $10.5million due to past corrupt Governmental Officials
who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and
some individuals who have taken advantage of your fund all in an
attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your
end and unnecessary delay in the receipt of your fund.for more
information do get back to us.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations
and Federal Bureau of Investigation have successfully passed a mandate
to the current government to Map out ways in Paying this shortlisted
Fund beneficiary.

However,As soon as you Confirm the receipt of this message,Do get back
to us with the following details.

1 Full Name
2 Full Address
3 Telephone Number

Waiting for your swift Respond.

Sign by the Management
Antonio Guterres  

A reply not designed to further communication:


What does this have to do with Taylor Swift?  

Communications was however furthered, and by a scammer that can't read for diddly:

We received your email and the Contents of your email is well noted
and understood and we also wish to sympathize with you over the
tragedy of Scam that had befell you in your effort and Attempt of
trying to receive your Fund.

Investigations reveals that Your Fund is real and %100 guaranteed but
you had been passing through stress and difficulties to receive your
Fund because you had been passing through the wrong and corrupt hands.

The United Nations handles Multi Millions Transactions on daily basis
world wide because it is part of our policies but people had been
impersonating us without our knowledge and you should not blame us
Much because if you had fallen Victim of Scam,It was without our
knowledge.

Meanwhile,To enable you stay Focused in receiving Your Fund,You Must
exercise the following qualities.

1 You Must learn not to count on your previous experiences of Scam
because that alone will discourage you
2 You Must Learn to trust and be confidence in our ability of
effecting your Payment
3 You Must be Sincere and Follow our Instruction
4 You should know that parties can not work together except there is trust.
5 You Must know that we are the only Agency assigned to handle your Payment
6 You Should learn to forward Scam and impersonation letters to us for
investigations.

However,You should know that due process Must be followed to ensure
that you receive your Fund hence your Money can not make us rich or
Poor.

You are hereby advised to choose from the below Payment Options,How
you would want to receive your Payment

1 Bank To Bank Transfer
2 Bank Draft.

As soon as we hear back from you,Directives and requirements needed to
proceed with be given to you.

Finally,If there is anything that is weakening or discouraging you
from proceeding with the Transaction,Please let s know than keeping
silent out of Ignorance.


Waiting for your swift Respond.

Sign by the Management
Antonio Guterres  


Okay, fine:


Taylor Swift is responding for me?

Peculiar how that's going to happen; don't know the waif.  

 

 

The comprehension on that end takes a peculiar, religious toin at Albuquerque:

 

 

I am writing you if not even for the Purpose of the Transaction but
also for the purpose of spreading and sharing the gospel of Christ
with you and I will be most delighted if you also permit me to do some.

As an Adult,I want to believe you Must have seen people around
you,Young and old die,Have you ever asked yourself where are they,Have
you once thought within yourself,What of,If it is you,Have you ever
asked to know the purpose of God for creating you and making you to
still live even when people younger than you die,people righteous.

Heaven is real and hell is real,The Law of Nature truly exist  and I
would like us to know the reason God sacrificed his only begotten son
to die for our Sin,

Sir,I will be happy,If you will also welcome me preaching to you.

Concerning this Transaction,It is real and is an
Inheritance/Compensation Payment and I am assigned as a United Nation
Agent to handle the Transaction of your behalf.

Firstly,You Must indicate,either to receive the Payment through Bank
To Bank Transfer,Through ATM Card or through Bank Draft.I look forward
to hear from you.

Please do not forget to always read your bible and pray and I will be
happy,If you will welcome the idea of also sharing the bible with me.

Waiting for your swift Respond.

Sign by the Management
Antonio Guterres  

 

 

The scammer wants something biblical?  Okay, I am up to making up something:

 

 

Perhaps I could share with you one of my favorite biblical passages from the book of Isezy'all 5-5:

And the Lord asked thus if a sheep is a ram and a donkey is an ass, then why for why is a ram in the ass a goose?  And if not perplexing enough, the Lord furthered with "why does Noel gots an 'L' in it?"

How's that?  

 

 

Someone on that end is starting to figure out something:

 

 

that is blasphemy.  how dare you!  

 

 

"How dare I?"  I didn't know I was communicating with that climate-moron in Norway:

 

 

How easily I dare!  How's by you?  

 

 

That seemed to end the to-and-fro with the scammer, but I simply couldn't leave it at that.  An edit of the scammer's last long-winded reply was in order:

 

 

From: Eunuched nations <unceffoff@gmail.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2019 12:26 PM
To: Jacksome Whackoff <jacksomewhackoff69@twatmail.com>
Subject: Urchins Are Impotent...It's Puberty, Y'all

 

3 Whitehall Snort,
London,
SW1A 2EL
Eunuched Kingdumb
Tel: + 44 209 766 3454
Fax: + 44 207 001 1381
Genital enquiries: info@un.org.uk
Gender switching: membership@una.org.uk
Customer Soivice that don't care........... unceffoff@gmail.com

Attention.  At ease.

I am writing you if not even for the porpoise of the transgender but
also for the porpoise of spreading and sharing the gossamer of finalypus
with you and I will be most delighted if you also permit me to do some

bunghole fingering of my own.

As an Adult of dubious antecedence, I want to believe you Must have seen

people who need people are the silliest people in the world...if they latch onto

someone like you. 

Have you ever asked yourself is it good to be fish with the hollandaise?

What of it if it is you? Have you ever sought grammar checks of the prose

you are creating from a fly-infested internet cafe in some Third World

craphole?  Did you ever wonder about a deity that would allow the

creation of a Rubix cube?

How dare you fart and rob Greta Thunberg of her childhood.  We eat

cows on account of this.

Heaven is real and hell is real.  The Gong Show was real until cancelled.

If the networks cancelled Heaven or Hell tomorrow, would you choose

Newark?  And if so, as which?

The Law of Nature truly exist, and democraps tend toward being

violations of every natural law of Nature.  Epstein didn't kill himself,

and Adam Schiff violates crustaceans.

Sir/Ma'am/gender-neutral non-binary octosexual orthopod/et al, I will

be happy if you, having digested this to now, will also welcome me preaching

to you in assorted languages that abound on the planet Uranus, a place where

the DNC keeps their heads buried.

Concerning this transaction, it is surreal, imaginational and the natural

equivalent of a cancerous butt polyp.  And I am assigned as a Eunuched Nation
reprehensible to mishandle the transaction of your behalf.

Firstly, you must achieve the ability to fart the Bohemian Rhapsody song in

c-sharp.  You must indicate whether you are hairy fingerer or cosmic muffin.

You must be able to explain how that you are a fluke of the universe, you

have no right to be here, and whether you know it or not, the universe is

laughing behind your back.  You must indicate through Azerbaijani braille

your choice of paper or plastic, tastes great or less filling, anal or oral sex

with a tree stump.  Once you've so chosen, I look forward to hear from you.

Please do not forget to always read your junk email and pray and I will be
there, being sodomized by an animated bassalope from Bloom County.

That is, if you will welcome the idea of also sharing a fallopian tube

with my local militia mortar company, who've found the cardboard tubes

from toilet paper to be wholly inadequate to the porpoise.

Waiting for your terrible swift sword to split a tofurkey from hat to belt.

Sign of the Management:  Gorkus.  That's two buzzards colliding in mid-air.
Antonio Guterres  

 

 

That seems to have ended any kind of discussion about anything with Antonio Guterres.

 

Yes, it's 2020.  And nothing's changed in Scamland.