Flat Worlders...Eh

No, it isn't about that...whether the Earth is round or flat.

I can tell you that the Earth ain't flat when I'm walking up a hill at altitude, sounding like I'm in training for the Obscene phone call Olympics in 2020.

Round or flat Earthers can continue their silly debate on this issue.  I'm just here on account of a scammer.

One what didn't open this can of worms, either:


Dear Sir/Madam

Please be informed that We were mandated by the Federal Government of Nigeria last week to effect the release the sum of US$250,000.00 to each affected (SCAM) victim around the globe under the surveillance of the Economic and Financial Crime Commission (E.F.C.C) which your email was included in the list and we have 14 working days to round up this payment as directed by the (E.F.C.C) Chairman .

Last week, we started payment to the affected victims who responded to our notification letter earlier. So you have the opportunity to claim your US$250,000.00 compensation fund if you will comply by our legal directives without any delay.

For us to achieve this successfully, you will have to seize further communication with any body outside this office to avoid repeating your past mistakes or losing your funds to criminals after receiving it.

For more information, we will advise that you call or send SMS to + 234 816 962 2603.

Your Sincerely,

Mr.Abdullahi Ibrahim
Executive Director(Public Sector),
First Bank Nigeria Ltd.,
Mobile: + 234 816 962 2603.
abdullahi.ibrahim@aol.com  


See?  Not one word about it being a round or flat Earth.

Then came my "editing gone wild" pet rock, Seymour, and all that changed:


Dear Sir/Madam

Please be informed that I am been persondated by an email purportedly from a reprehensible of the Federal Government of Nigeria last week to effect the release of 250,000 diseased butt fleas to each and every person not as yet afflicted by the aforementioned butt fleas around the globe under the guise of a scam from the Economic and Financial Crime Commission (E.F.C.C) which doesn't really exist except in a fly-infested internet cafe in Lagos and on a GoFundMe page for the DNC because they're that pathetic.

On top of that, may we be permitted to say that we have proof that the Earth is round, but Kathy Griffin is flat.  Her neighbors regret having the proof.

 
After everything else we've tried has gone Kathy-Griffin-topless in our face, we started payment to Russian bots to not claim that they work for cnn. So you have the opportunity to claim your share of these butt fleas if you will comply by our illegal directives without any delay.
  

 For us to achieve this successfully, you will have to seize a live sock puppet chicken and make it bark like Hellary -- presenting a reset button to a Russian bot -- on the crimepaign trail for us.
 

For more information, we will advise that you call or send SMS to + 234 816 962 2603.

Your Sincerely,

Mr.Abdullahi Ibrahim
Executive Director(Public Sector),
First Bank Nigeria Ltd.,
Mobile: + 234 816 962 2603.
abdullahi.ibrahim@aol.com  


The EFCC had no further comment.  Round vs Flat Earthers didn't seem to, either.

No one's debating that Griffin's flat.  In more ways than two.