Simply Mahvelous

"...with a name like Marvelous Duke, it's GOT to be a scam.."

The Smuckers people could not have been more right...and never knowd they were.

When you get an email from a scammer with a name like that -- and includes photographic evidence like this -- it simply has to be responded to.

Here's what he sent with apparently a straight face:

TEMPLE CHAMBERS $ ASSOCIATES

(LEGAL PRACTITIONER)

No: 85, Western Avenue,

Surulere, Lagos.

Email " barristermarvellous200@gmail.com

CALL : +234- 8024627935

    PLEASE AND KINDLY RESPOND TO THS MY PRIVATE EMAIL (  barristermarvellous200@gmail.com  ).

   

     Dear Friend,

 

        It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as a surprise; this is because we have not met before but I am inspired to sending you this email following the huge fund transfer opportunity that will be of mutual benefit to both of us. However, I am Barrister Marvellous Duke, SAN, Attorney to the late Engr.Ronald Johnson a national of Northern American, who used to work with Shell Petroleum Development Company (SPDC) in Nigeria On the 11th of November, 2002. My client, his wife and their three children were involved in a car accident along Sagamu/Lagos Express Road.

 

      Unfortunately they all lost their lives in the event of the accident, since then I have made several inquiries to several Embassies to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you.

 

       I contacted you to assist in repatriating the money and property left behind by my client; I can easily convince the bank with my legal practice that you are the only surviving relation of my client. Otherwise the Estate he left behind will be confiscated or declared  not serviceable by the bank where these huge deposits were  lodged.

 

       Particularly, the Bank where the deceased had an account valued at about $15 million U.S dollars (Fifteen million U.S. America dollars).Consequently, The bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working days.

Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over several  years now.

 

     I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin to the deceased, so that the proceeds of this account valued at $15million U.S dollars can be paid to your account and then you and I can share the money, 50% to me and 50% to you.

 

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through and also forward the following to me:

 

1, Your Full Name:.......

2, Your House Address:.......

3, Your Country:............  State:,,,,,

4, Your Contact Telephone ......

5, Your Age:,,,,,, and Gender:....

6, Your Occupation: ..........

7. Your Marital Status,,,,,,,

 

     I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Please get in touch with me VIA this my confidential email ( barristermarvellous200@gmail.com )

 

Yours Faithfully,

BARRISTER MARVELOUS DUKE, SAN.  

 

 

The edit lived down to any scammer's expectations, I'm sure:

 

 

On Tuesday, August 14, 2018 7:11 PM, BANNISTER MALLARDJUSTED DUCK <deborah_deon3@aol.com> wrote:

CRANIAL DISTORTION CHAMBERS $ ASSOCIATES

(ILLEGAL PRACTITIONER WITH LOTS OF UNHAPPY CLIENTS)

No: 85, Western Avenue,

Surulere, Lagos.

Email " barristermarvellous200@gmail.com

CALL : +234- 8024627935

    PLEASE AND KINDLY RESPOND TO THS MY PRIMATE'S EMAIL SO SHE DOESN'T GET BORED AND TRASH THE OFFICE AGAIN (  barristermarvellous200@gmail.com  ).

   

     Pullinanimouly,

 

        It is obvious that this proposal will come to you as an email; this is because this is how I sended it.  I tried using Jurassic Air Delivery Services to send this, but the pterodactyl requires a sheep just to allow me to get close enough to attach the message to its leg, and I didn't have a sheep.  So it had to be this.

I have the extreme horror to be Bannister Mallardjusted Duck, SAN, Atturkey to the late fake news network cnn that died of it's own bile, who used to work with the Democrapic National Crimeittee that is still trying to figure out WTF after Hellary lost and Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez became the substandard bearer of the party.  

 

      Unfortunately, after looking over countless templates to employ here, they all lost their minds and are now in extended therapeutic environs where the nuts hunt the squirrels..hooha.  Since then I have made several inquiries to several Embassies to locate any Third World Sh*tholes that don't have extradition agreements with the USA, and this has sadly proved successful.  I was hoping not to find any, because I already am in a Third World Sh*thole and didn't want to wind up in something like San Crapcisco.  Hence I contacted you.

 

       I contacted you to assist in repatriating a box of size 65 panties from wherever they are; my primate was using them as hammocks and is still pissed that they are misplaced.  I can easily convince the bank with my illegal practice that you are the only swampf gediving gvelt inga hootsknocker that would understand what that is. Otherwise, all of my Slim Whitman records will be confiscated or declared offensive to Martians and this will mean a far different outcome the next time Sarah Jessica Parker's head winds up on a Chihuahua.

 

       Since I have been unsuccessful in locating anything but your email address for over several  years now, you can see how this is all coming more unraveled than a cnn reporter being spanked by Sarah Sanders.

 

     I seek your consent to present you as the only surviving intelligent life left at ms13nbc, so that they can get a marginally better rating than cnn before November.  In return for your help I am deliriously happy to let you keep Sandra Fluke.

 

All I require is your honest, sandpoundingly ignorant cooperation to enable me to sell this spiel to someone.  So forward the following to me:

 

1, Your Full Name:.......

2, Your House Address:.......

3, Your Country:............  State:,,,,,

4, Your Contact Telephone ......

5, Your Age:,,,,,, and Gender (please select one that Google Translate can fathom):....

6, Your Occupation: ..........

7. Your Marital Status,,,,,,,

 

     I guarantee that this would be executed promptly in North Korea, probably by anti-aircraft gun.  Otherwise -- especially at the DNC -- it is a legitimate arrangement that will protect the swamp from any exposure by the fake news outlets.

Please get in touch with my impatient primate VIA this confidential email ( barristermarvellous200@gmail.com )

 

Yours Faithfully,

BANNISTER MALLARDJUSTED DUCK, SAN.  

 

 

The bannister hasn't seen fit to reply to that.  I can't imagine why...