Tuesday, August 14, 2018

Comprehension Matters

A lot of scammers can apparently write English to varied degrees.

More than a few scammers, however, don't comprehend what they read in reply so well.

Take this clown for example:

Attention: Beneficiary. 
Re-Change of Funds Ownership. 
This is to bring to your notice that the Ecowas Chairman , has constituted a 10 man investigative Panel and foreign Debts reconciliation committee, which I am the Chairman of the presidential committee saddled with the responsibility to investigate all the banks here in Africa, who has trapped and held beneficiaries  
Compensation/inheritance/NNPC contract Fund claims unpaid.To settle all the foreign debt after his recent Telephone conversation with the World Bank and other officials of the United Nation to enable him give a zero tolerance to corruption in his regime. 
I am solely in charge of all foreign payments. At the commencement of my official  responsibility geared towards payment to foreign beneficiaries. 
I received a letter that your unclaimed approved payment by the Africa Banks which has been overdue for payment should now be paid to Gary Johnson  from your Country. 
In the said letter titled change of Beneficiary/Ownership. Its clearly stated that you are dead and that he is your next of kin, it went further to say you signed a deed and an agreement with Gary Johnson  to become your beneficiary before your untimely death.
Officially arrangement had been concluded for the approved funds transfer into his account.But because of the elaborate global scam, I decided to contact you first for confirmation before transferring the funds and if after seven working days, no response is received from you, it will be assumed that you are dead and as such authorization and approval will be granted on behalf of Gary Johnson  to claim/receive your fund. But if you are well and alive then confirm this letter and reconfirm your Information without any further delay. Send your responses to me Immediately by email. 
Below is the information you are expected to re-confirm. 
Full Name: ..........................Address: ...............Nationality:...... ....Sex: ...........Age: ..........Date of Birth: ...........Occupation:........................Mobile Phone: ................Driver's license or any copy of Your Identity: ...........
Please feel free to contact me on this email address ( boa_bj@aol.com ) only for further clarifications regarding this matter.
Michael  Bio  
Here, my character thinks that he's disposed of this matter by a simple change in the name of the organization:
I am owed nothing by ACOWSASS.  
Apparently, that's not enough to dispose of the matter with this clown:
Meaning you are not the  owner of the fund or what?
Any way  the sum of  One Million Two Hundred and Fifty Thousand Great Britain Pounds  (£1,250.00 GBP) only,has already approved  to you.  We wait to hear from you.  
So my character tries again:
No, I am not the owner of this or anything from ACOWSASS.  
Hints not being taken in Scamland:
Ok kindly advise us what you want us to do over the fund  
Asked and answered:
Return it immediately to ACOWSASS.  Put it back in there however you like.  Do not remove it again from ACOWSASS.  For in ACOWSASS is where it belongs.  
Still not getting it yet:
We do not understand you.  This is yours we tell you.  You don't want it?  
If at first you don't succeed...:
I want nothing from ACOWSASS.  Apart from a dung beetle, I can't imagine anyone wanting a deposit from ACOWSASS.  If you value it, it's yours with my personally endorsed denigrations.
I'm glad we've settled this matter about the undesirability of anything from ACOWSASS.  You're better off, believe me.
Actually I doubt it, but ol' Bio ceased further communications with my character at this point.  I'll never know if he figured out that there was nothing to be gained from ACOWSASS...

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