Benin & Scams & Asteroids Oh My

"Pennies from Heaven".  Not.

Scams from Benin.  Not pennies from Heaven.

A typical Western Union scam from Benin wherein I'm to believe I'm getting thousands of dollars for nothing...other than a measly $200 fee, which cannot be deducted from the balance.

Uh huh.

Here's the gist of the scam, and from none other than a Dr. Prince Raymond:


Attention:Dear Customer,

Welcome to Western Union Money Transfer Agent, We wish to inform you that the
IMF have release your fund sum of $1,8 million US dollars issued on your name
the money was deposited with us in this Office as MTCN credit card, we shall be
sending the money to you everyday $6000.00usd until we complete the
total payment.

We are very glad to inform you that we have processed  your first payment of
$6000.00usd, but bare it in mind that the $6000.00usd will not be given to you
except you pay for service charges which is $200, you have to pay the money
through our service western union to the information we give you here, then
after confirm the payment of $200. from you, we shall release your  first $6000.00
usd to enable you pick it up and get back to us for the second payment,As you
can see here is the MTCN Number of your first payment which we credited for you
today, track it with our website: [http://www.westernunion.com,to]www.westernunion.com,to confirm that your  payment is available.

1)Senders Name:  Peter Iwunor
2)MTCN...3457224536
3)Amount: $6000.00 USD.
Track it with our website: https://wumt.westernunion.com/
asp/orderStatus.asp?country=CN

Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Prince Raymond
Finance Minister,
Federal Republic Of Benin.
Direct:Telephone Number:+229-68649485
E-mail: w.union590@gmail.com

Yes, they have millions of US dollars and crave to give it away to poor ol' Western fellers like me, and for a mere pittance of what they wish to give away.

And Hillary is an honest person, too.  BWHAHAHAHAHA.

I decided to see what attention Dr. Prince Raymond was paying in my character's reply:

I will send you $200 on the day a space meteor wipes out Benin. 


The good Dr. Prince Raymond is articulate, educated and literate as are all talking points following scammers, as his reply indicates:


Welcome to Western Union Money Transfer Agent, your reply is read and well noted,
We wish to inform you that the  IMF have release your fund sum of $1,8 million US dollars issued on your name  the money was deposited with us in this Office as MTCN credit card, we shall be  sending the money to you everyday $6000.00usd until we complete the total payment.

 We are very glad to inform you that we have processed  your first payment of  $6000.00usd, but bare it in mind that the $6000.00usd will not be given to you  except you pay for service charges which is $200, you have to pay the money  through our service western union to the information we give you here, then  after confirm the payment of $200. from you, we shall release your first $6000.00  usd to enable you pick it up and get back to us for the second payment,As you  can see here is the MTCN Number of your first payment which we credited for you  today, track it with our website: [http://www.westernunion.com,to]www.westernunion.com,to confirm that your  payment is available.  


"your reply is read and well noted".   And then plainly ignored.

Okay, let's try again:

I will send $200 to Benin a day after a city-sized asteroid obliterates Benin. 

This is followed by yet another response from the very oriented-to-template Dr. Prince Raymond:


Dear Friend
I understod you point all I try is to make sure you receive your fund to aviod delay okay
Your full information is needed to avoid mistake
Your Name====
Your Country===
Your phone number===
Your ID CARD

Yours Faithfully,
Dr. Prince Raymond
Finance Minister,
Federal Republic Of Benin.
Direct:Telephone Number:                          +229-68649485
E-mail:w.union590@gmail.com 

It is clear that you have not understood my point twice.  How "well read and understood" can you be when you completely miss the point because you're wedded to a talking points template that allows you no room for independent thought and action?  I will try this once more:  I will send you $200 on the day I hear that Benin has been obliterated by an asteroid.  

Perhaps a small winkling of light is shed on the template brain of Dr. Prince Raymond:

i am not  believe you mean what you say?  


Oh yes you am believe I mean what I say.  Get back to me when you've been wiped out by an asteroid, and I'll send you $200.  I won't until that day.  


this you say is rediculos!  


Be that as it may...you won't get your $200 until an asteroid wipes out your pathetic internet café and all surroundings ones similarly employed as yours is.  Let me know when that happens, and I'll send you $200.  


Dr. Prince Raymond either decided that my character wasn't fit to do business with...or he's sky watching, waiting for an opportunity for his $200...