Postcards From Beyond The Gender

Ol' Meryl, just shortly before she went Trumpadoodle at some dink awards ceremonkey out in Hollywad.

Email conversations with email scammers can take a number of different turns.  Some can go on for months, even years.  Others...eh...not so long.

They usually hinge on one common theme:  money.  The transfer of. 

But they can unhinge in a hurry, as did the following one.

It started simply enough.  Maria Moore -- who became Elizebeth Hammers before she brought a third name into the game -- contacted my character about a fund transfer and a fee that had to be paid before the fund transfer could take place.  The old "pay me a few hundred for you to get a few million" ploy so in vogue in Scamland. 

That was the game.  Her goal:  to get my character to wire her $750.  If I did that, she *won*.

Here's how the *game* isn't supposed to be played (according to her and her peers); note that her emails are in bold and my character responds in italics: 


Below are their contact details.... now E-mail them immediately and ask> about item code: "9864543/pending/delivery" by me.
>
> Company Name: Excel Global Courier Service
> Contact Person: ELIZABETH HAMMERS
> Email: elizebethhammers002@gmail.com
>
> Thank you very much for your zeal to assist me then. Let friendly love
> continue! I'm off....Take care and God bless. so feel free to get in
> touch with them. Pls pray for our safe trip. Please note that the
> courier company don't know anything about the hiding money in the
> laptops, don't ever disclose it to them.
> > Mrs Maria Moore  


You're German?  Okay...that's the only thing I know about you.  


Thanks for your swift response because i am already at my airport now. I want you to get this box today so that i can face other jobs. Mrs
Maria Moore instructed me to deliver immediately. i will  be in in your
area this night

Pls be at home. MARIA paid me for delivery and that is why i am paying
for all these things. However. maria left that box for few days at
this airport cargo dept and it has accumulated a demurrage fee and
customs clearance fee now. Is a small fee anyway. That will be a
little delay because i have paid
for other things like yellow tag, insurance, permit etc. I am financially
down now I know She must have TOLD you about it because she is
absolutely aware. You can reach her on wilieburs2431@gmail.com

You will send the fee down here before i can board the flight. Like i
said...is just a token fee. Is not much at all. That is my delay now.
She is aware of that because i told her as well. She is in China now.
Try and send the fee now so that I will come .MAKE SURE
YOU ARE AT HOME TO RECEIVE THE BOX BECAUSE I CANT GIVE IT TO ANOTHER
PERSON.The fee is $750.Use money gram to send the fee.Send your house
address and your phone number to me.Scan your passport or any of your
id and send it to me.


Pay To

NAME:HELENA BEASLEY
ADDRESS:MISSOURI U.S.A
Question. Color
Answer. Yellow

Send to HELENA BEASLEY. No other person.

Send it today and send the details to me.

waiting for your mail now.  


I'm confused.  You're the courier, but I'm supposed to send money to someone in Misery?  Please explain.  


She is our staff in charge of receiving money.as soon as you send the
money as soon as she receive it she will come and meet me with the
money so that i will pay the fee to them and come and meet you with
your box.Go and send the money now and scan the payment slip and send
it to me.  


Why doesn't your courier meet me at the airport and collect the monkey herself?  Why do you need a middleperson of dubious antegenderence?  


She is in charge of receiving money in our company.GO and send the fee now.  


Why isn't it more convenient to simply give the money to the courier when she makes delivery?  


I have to pay the demurrage fee and customs clearance fee before your
box will come out from the airport before i will come and meet you
with your box.If you are ready to see me with your box go and send the
fee now.When you deliver the box to me -- as in hand it to me -- I will put the $750 in your hand.  That's called "good business".  


Your box can not come out from the airport with out pay the fee to
them.Send the fee so that i will pay them and come and meet you.You
are not sending it for my own use.As soon as i pay them you will see
me in your house with your box.I did not ask you to give me any money
if you give me any money if my company know i will lose my job and go
to jail.Do you went me to go to jail?Go and send the money today and
send the payment slip to me.

Pay To

NAME:HELENA BEASLEY
ADDRESS:MISSOURI U.S.A
Question. Color
Answer. Yellow

Send to HELENA BEASLEY. No other person.

Send it today and send the details to me.

waiting for your mail now.


Mrs Hammers  

You mean that a COD arrangement is not workable in this situation?  

 

 

I can not understand you by cod arrangement.Send the fee so that i
will pay them and come and meet you.  

COD stands for Cash On Delivery.  


Send the fee stop delaying so that i will pay them and come and meet
you with your box.  

Don't get uppity with me!  Cross that courtesy line again and I'll tell you what you can do with that box!   I happen to be someone that likes to ask questions and get things done my way.  If they can't be done my way, I appreciate courteous explanations, and not petulant snot-nosed responses.  So knock off the indignation and this can get done.  

I wish you happy new year  


And to your snot nosed self too.  

Nice to hear from you this new year.I hope you are ready to receive
your package this year?Reply back.  

Back  


The fee is $750  so let me know how much you have so that i will know
what to do to help you so that we can pay the fee to them and come and
meet you.  


I have that much.  


I can not understand you by that.  


What can't you understand by that?  


When are you sending the fee?  


As soon as I can arrange it.  


Give me the date you will send it.  


1/9/17  


Ok send the $750 on 1/9/2017.Use money gram to send it.As soon as i
pay the fee to them i will come and meet you with your  package.Send
your phone number and your house address to me again.Scan your
passport or any of your id and send it to me so that as soon as i meet
with you i will know that you are the person to meet with.

Pay To

NAME:HELENA BEASLEY
ADDRESS:MISSOURI U.S.A
Question. Color
Answer. Yellow

Send to HELENA BEASLEY. No other person.

Send it today and send the details to me.

waiting for your mail now.


Mrs Hammers  



How are you today i hope you are in good health?I hope you are sending
the $750 on tomorrow?.  


I am thundering ducky, M'am.  Yes, I know tomorrow is January 9.  I have a calendar and know how to use it.  

Send the money tomorrow and scan the payment slip and send it to me.As
soon as i pay them you will see me.  

What do you mean, "you will see me"?  

As soon as you send the money as soon as i pay them i will come and
meet you with your package that what i mean.Go and send it now and
send the payment slip to me.  

I thought you were shipping me the money, not bringing it.   Sending it or bringing it?  I need to know if I need special preparations or something.  Not sending the fee until you reply.  


Send the  demurrage fee and customs clearance fee of $750 now so that
i will pay them and come and meet you.  


So you are coming here, not sending the money.  That's what I needed to know.  


Yes as soon as you send the demurrage fee and customs clearance fee of
$750 now.I will pay the fee to them and come and meet you with your
package.I need your house address and your phone number again.Scan
your passport or any of your id and send it to me so that as soon as i
meet with you i will know that you are the person to meet with.Use
money gram to send the fee now.

Pay To

NAME:HELENA BEASLEY
ADDRESS:MISSOURI U.S.A
Question. Color
Answer. Yellow

Send to HELENA BEASLEY. No other person.

Send it today and send the details to me.

waiting for your mail now.


Mrs Hammers  

My address is:

*** ******* Street   Central City CO 80427  

 

 

Ok i received your address.Send your phone number and your id to
me.Attach is my id again for you to know me.Send the $750 today and
scan the payment slip and send it to me as soon as i pay them you will
see me in your house today.

Pay To

NAME:HELENA BEASLEY
ADDRESS:MISSOURI U.S.A
Question. Color
Answer. Yellow

Send to HELENA BEASLEY. No other person.

Send it today and send the details to me.

waiting for your mail now.


Mrs Hammers   (and she includes her alleged ID)

That's a man's picture on your ID.  What are you, a trans?  


Please is me not a man.How can i sent a man picture to you.Go and send
the fee and you will see me today.Send your phone number to me so that
i will call you if i miss my way to your house.  


Are you in Denver CO already?  And are you sure that's not a man's picture?  


The id i sent to you is my id if you are sending the fee today let me know.  


I want to know if you are a woman that looks like a man or a man that is portraying a woman.  Just who the f**k am I sending $750 to???  

(after a day with no reply)


Since you didn't reply, I guess that you ARE a man and not who you claimed to be.  Good thing I saved my $750, eh?  Tell Helen to get her an authentic associate and mayhaps we can try this again.  But for gawd sakes, if you're going to be a woman, for f**k sake get a picture that LOOKS LIKE ONE.  


If you are ready to see me with your box go and send the $750 now and
send the payment details to me so that i will pay them today and come
and meet you.  

Is Helena Beasley a woman?  I am a lonely bachelor.  Just sayin'.  

Yes she is a woman.Send the fee and send the details.  


Have her send me her picture.  If she does, I will send her double the $750.  


I am not joking with you if you are ready send the fee or i will ask
the airport agent to send your package to FBI as on clam.  

If you send the package to the FBI as "on clam" as you say, why would the FBI give a damn about it?  They're busy trying to figure out if you're a woman or a man that was hacked by the Russians.  

If Helena Beasley is an attractive woman -- and I need a picture to prove it -- I will send her $1500.

When you are ready to receive your package you send the $750 i have no
time to west with you again.  

So you're NOT going to send me a picture of Helena Beasley, you're NOT going to prove you're a woman and you're NOT going to get a spell check program that works?

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER*

No soup for you!  

I find it amusing that you'd forego a bonus of $750 in addition to the regular $750 just because I wanted a picture of Helena Beasley to confirm that she's a real woman...which we've clearly established that you're not.  

If you are ready to receive your box go and send the fee so that i
will pay them and come and meet you.I am not sending any picture to
you,Your work is to send the fee and her work is to receive the fee.  


No, your work is to facilitate the making of the payment and by getting me what I ask is facilitation of that payment being made.  You're not facilitating.  


If you are ready you send the fee you are not sending it for my own
use.As soon as you send it i will pay them and come and meet you.You
have nothing do with her id.I am going to Canada by Friday for deliver
this person have sent his own fee and he did not ask for any id.Go and
send the fee now so that i will pay them and come and meet you.  


Your obstinence isn't because you're jealous of Helena because SHE looks like a woman and YOU don't, is it?  Is that why you're holding up this deal?  I'm telling you....send me a picture of Helena Beasley and I'll double the payment.  


Go and send the money you have nothing to do with her picture.  


It most CERTAINLY has to do with her picture!!  Your obstinence has managed to make this a personal quest, a mission, a goal.  Show me a picture of Helena Beasley and if she's a babe I send $1500.  


This her address yu can go and meet her in person.

ADDRESS:CITY OF LOUIS CITY HALL
1200 MARKET STREET SAINT LOUIS,MO 63103 MISSOURI U.S.A

If you are ready you send the fee.  


(a search of the address she sent me suggests it's the Assessor's Office for St. Louis County)

I didn't ask for her address.  READ AND COMPREHEND:  I ASKED FOR HER PICTURE.  $1500 is on the line.  Do you enjoy FAILING?  Follow instructions or risk FAILING.   On top of that, Maria Moore/Elizebeth Hammers, you're an IDIOT.  That is NOT a residential address.  It's a f**king GOVERNMENT OFFICE.   Either I get a photo of Helena Beasley or you DON'T GET a FEE PAYMENT.

You are cramping this deal with your lack of cooperation.

Go and send the money is you are ready.  

You are NOT paying attention.  Are you not able to tell a twat waffle iron from a toaster?  


I am paying attention so just send the fee as soon as i pay them you
will see me.  


Don't WANT to see you, Mister; I want to see Helena!   I have $1500 here.  It gets sent when I see a picture of Helena Beasley, and she doesn't look as manly as you do.  


shut up and stop email you basterd  


Ah, so you AREN'T a woman and you ARE jealous of Helena.  *WHOOOSH*...know what that was?  That was $1500 USD passing you by because YOU decided to stick with what was behind Door #1 and didn't choose what was behind Curtain #3.  You should have complied and taken the twat waffle iron.  


I SAID STOP!!!!!!!!  


Is that an acronym?  What does it mean?  Just because you're male and jealous of Helena doesn't mean you can't get a twat waffle iron from behind the right door or curtain.  *WHOOOSH*...was that the $1500 passing you by again?  Let me check....yawp.  It was.  


After that, Maria Moore/Elizebeth Hammers won't play no mores.  Guess he really WAS jealous of Helena Beasley.  Not sure why: