Who Let The Dawgs Out

It's bad enough someone let that dawg anywhere.

But even that dawg couldn't believe a scammer from Benin -- Bannister Effiong George -- could be led down a road so Carl Spackler-d.

First, the scam opening:


FROM EFCC BENIN VICTIMS COMPENSATION PROGRAMME UNIT IN CONJUNCTION
WITH OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY TO THE GOVERNMENT OF THE FEDERATION.

Budget Office of the Federation (Federal Ministry of Finance)

Dear Approved Beneficiary,

We write to inform you that, the presidency, economic and financial  crimes commission, federal ministry of ministry of finance, foreign  operations unit of central bank of Benin, Benin police force, special  fraud investigation unit, US department of the treasury, U.S. National
central bureau of Interpol, FBI, U.S. Secret service, us diplomatic  mission in Benin republic, in alliance with united nations delegates  have been working towards the eradication of Internet Fraud in western  part of Africa.

Sequel to our comprehensive investigations, we have so far recovered  so much money from these Cyber criminals which is over  ($81,375,000.00) EIGHTY ONE MILLION, THREE HUNDRED & SEVENTY FIVE  THOUSAND US DOLLARS. The United Nation Anti-Corruption Commission and  the (EFCC) Ghana and Benin have ordered that, the money recovered from  these Cyber fraudsters (SCAMMERS) must be shared among 1st batch of 53
Victims of this menace, whom we have their emails and contacts in our  Database here in Ghana, Nigeria and Benin.

This email is been directed to you because your email address was  found in one of the scam Artist's file and computer hard disk in our  custody here in Benin therefore, qualified you for this UN Assisted  compensation Program. We have approved to pay each of the victims we
have their e-mail addresses the sum of US$1,535,000.00.

 (he goes on with further drivel, then starts to get to what it is he's after)


We demand in line with the fiscal Regulatory policy, the only STATUTORY FEE you  are required to pay is the compulsory Economic Recovery Levy/Payment  Authorization Mandate (Judicial Endorsement/Registration) of $278.00  only.

Be aware that the courier delivery charges has been paid on your  behalf by the government and shipment shall commence as soon as we  hear from you, so you are advised to copy the below receiver's details  to locate western union or money gram around you to send the $278 and  you shall get your Card within 24hrs and no hidden fee.

Receive Name:.LAWRENCE OBI
Country:. Benin Republic
City. Cotonou
Text Question:. When
Answer: . Urgent
Amount . $278usd

Therefore we demand that get in touch with us with the payment right now if you are  ready to receive the compensation fund. You are under obligation to  follow the demands we handed down to the courier guiding this payment.

May God be with you Amen?

Kind regards,

Signed. . . .
Mr.Michael Ibeto (Secretary General).
Executive Chairman (EFCC).
Email(barrgeorge1990@gmail.com)  


They "demand" my character do this?  Further, it doesn't appear that they're sure that -- or want God -- to be with me, amen?

If demands is what they know, demands is what they get:

Before I can comfortably send $278 to your contact, I demand that you'll do something for me first. 

That gets this response:
 

We write to inform you that, We received your message and the content  is well understood,So without wasting any of our time what is your  demand and again i want to let you know that the only assurance i can  be giving to any one is my words and i so much believe in that my  word,

Be aware that the courier delivery charges has been paid on your  behalf by the government and shipment shall commence as soon as we  hear from you, so you are advised to copy the below receiver's details  to locate western union or money gram around you to send the $278 and  you shall get your Card within 24hrs and no hidden fee.

Receive Name:.LAWRENCE OBI
Country:. Benin Republic
City. Cotonou
Text Question:. When
Answer: . Urgent
Amount . $278usd

Therefore we demand that you get in touch with us with the payment right now if you are
ready to receive the compensation fund. You are under obligation to  follow the demands we handed down to the courier guiding this payment.

May God be with you Amen?

He's still not sure about that.

Now we find out if Bannister Effiong George has ever seen Caddy Shack:

My demand:

bark like a dog for me.  Bark like a dog.  You do that, I'll wire you the money.  

 

You'd think we're done...but we're not:

 

 

what is this? 

 

 

It's simple:  bark like a dog for me.  Bark...like...a...dog.  

 

What kind of jest is this?  I am a serious barrister and demand that you stop this and just do as you have been instruct.  Time is not on your side.  

 

 

It is no jest.  You want the $278, you will meet MY demand and bark like a dog for me.  And time IS on my side; I have a pocket watch.   Nyah.  

 

 

stop writing fool  

 

 

I didn't once write "fool".  I'm still waiting for you to bark like a dog for me.  Bark like a dog.  I will teach you the meaning of respect.  

 

 

But and alas, Bannister Effiong George wants to play with my character no mores.

 

He must have looked up Carl...