Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Ya Think?

After receiving a scam email -- and sending it back to the scammer edited -- the scammer had the most "Well, DUH!!" of responses:

that not my email?  

He really HAD to ask that?

Here's how it went.  First, his original scam email:

 
Attention :The Beneficiary
In conformity with the determined interest of this new democratic Government to offset all outstanding foreign contract indebtedness. In accordance with our new improved foreign contract payment policy as stated in the foreign contract payment act of 1979 and amended in the debt servicing act of 1999 to expedite the immediate settlement of all out standing contract
accrued interest payment under the Federal Ministry of aviation and NNPC.We are glad to inform you that your contract accrued interest Part-payment  has been approved by the Ministry (FMF & PTF ONDEBT PAYMENT) as stated in the attached letter with the
approved International Payment Voucher Number :( FMF/CBN/NNPC/BOA-93WB82UN567-G); Therefore, you are advice as a matter of urgency
to contact this committee approved Fiduciary Agent, for immediate release of your FUND with the below contact information.
CONTACT INFORMATION
Mrs. Chioma michael
Dirctor:interbank Accredited  Fiduciary
PHONE:+(190)8652-4194
E-MAIL:chiomsmichaelinter.bank@yahoo.com
E-MAIL:chiomsmichaelinterbank@aol.com
This mode of payment is designed by the government to avert fraud perpetration or stoppage of funds transferred by some agencies either through Anti Terrorist Certificate or other certificates requirements. It was after our extensive close door meeting with Board of Directors and with Mr. President and other Stake holders in the government, sub-committees of the
Senate and the House of Rep. Federal Republic of Nigeria and the Federal Ministry of Finance.
This OFFICE hereby uses this medium to congratulate you and heart fully thank you for your patience and understanding during all this years of delays on your fund.always keep us inform what ever your out come with Mrs. Chioma michael
Thanks for your co-operation.
Yours faithfully,
Dr.s.jerry williams (Director-General)
Debt Management Office & Chairman
Presidential Task Force on Debt Payment
Federal Republic of Nigeria 
 
That's what it looked like upon arrival h'yah.  That ain't how it looked upon reply back th'yah:
 
 
From: Dr. Rev. Capt. DoucheNozzle.jerry williams <roger.horley@btinternet.com>
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2017 5:51 AM
Subject: Dr. Rev. Capt. DoucheNozzle.jerry williams
 
Attention:  
In disformity with the mental dysentery raging through this new dumbasscrapic Government to offset all outstanding foreign contract indebtedness, it is the diversifried opinion of a panel of fine young cannibals that in discordance with our new unproved foreign contract  payment policy scam that we're trying out in the foreign contract payment act of 1979 (and amended in the debt servicing act of 1999 -- we're  slow to getting to sh*t like this) -- we are no longer running a two for one burrito lunch special at any of our Cannibalized Not-So-Fast Juan Mexican restaurants here in Lagos because of overdemand with no appreciation for the afteraffects of said culinary item to the ecological status of our outdoor outhouses. 
This be the ruling from our Federal Ministry of aviation and NNPC and in that we are adamant.  Just take our word that something like this WOULD fall under those ministries.
We are glad to inform you that you have been approved by other assorted ministries (FMF & PTF & OMG & WTF, et al) as stated in the single and unattached letter with the as yet unapproved International Penile Implant Voucher Number :( FMF/CBN/NNPC/OMG/WTF/EUNUCH567-G).
Therefore, you are advice as a matter of urgency to collect a week's worth of your feces, hermetically seal it, and send it to the DNC in Washington DC.  They themselves aren't running short -- indeed, they have enough for perpetuity -- but they can never have too much.

CONTACT INFORMATION
(we now indulge in something totally unrelated to the above, as somewhere above we seriously digressed from the original template):
Mrs. Piranha Clitoris Uterine Inflammation
Directum:  Interbank Accredited  Reproductives
PHONE:+(190)8652-4194
E-MAIL:  chiomsmichaelinter.bank@yahoo.com
E-FEMAIL:  chiomsmichaelinterbank@aol.com
E-GENDERNEUTRALMAIL:  ..uh, we ain't got that one working yet..
This mode of ala is designed by the government to avert fraud perpetration in desserts.  Some agencies around here are pretty suck ass in that regard.  They even go so far as to require...get this...an Anti Dessert Terrorist Certificate or other certificates not yet made up requirements.
It was after our extensive close door meeting with a collection of Third World asshats and ther Stake holders in the government, sub-committees of the Senate and the House of Rep. Federal Republic of Nigeria and the Federal Ministry of Finance, that we concluded that this email is full of sh*t and therefore DNC qualified and approved.
This OFFICE hereby uses this double extra large (we've seen the people of Walmart pictures) to congratulate you and thank you for not questioning the abject stupid sh*t this email is full of during all this years of delays on your genital fungus removal procedures.
Thanks if you're still reading and believing one word of this.
Dr. Rev. Capt. DoucheNozzle.jerry williams (Directum-Genital)
Debt Mismanagement Office & Chairdouche
Presidential Task Farce on Nothing Useful
Federal Repugnant of Nigeria  
 
I cannot, for one, possibly see how the scammer could have questioned that the immediate above didn't resemble his original...can you?

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

No I can't. You did a great job on the edit though. Just saying.

Have a terrific day, Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

31 May, 2017 09:07  

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