Thursday, December 22, 2016

Hoping Stupid Shows Up In Their Christmas Sock

Bear with me on this one.

*Ducking boos and throwd JCM CDs*

The UN and other arginizations want me to be rewarded for having been scammed.

It sez so right in this email:


How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this email came to you. In regards to the recent meeting between the United Nations, Cyber Crimes Commission (CCc), Federal Bureau of Investigation(FBI) and the United States Government to restore the dignity and Economy ofa Nations based on the Agreement with the World Bank Assistance Project to help and make the world a better place. We have been having meetings for the past 3 months with the Secretary General of the United Nations.
 
This email come to those who are yet to receive their compensation/inheritance/winnings and who have been scammed in any part of the world, this includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that have had an unfinished transaction or Compensation payments that failed due to Government problems etc. Recently we the Federal Bureau of Investigation(FBI) arrested internet fraudsters and Scammer with large amount of money so if you are receiving this email its means you where select to be compensated as a scam victim among 100 selected victims with part of the money recover from the internet fraudsters account, . The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate you with the sum of $9,000.000.00 USD (NINE MILLION DOLLARS).
100 people where selected across the Globe for this MIDDLE OF THE YEAR COMPENSATION and Your name and email was in the list submitted by our Monitoring Team observers and this is why we are contacting you, this have been agreed upon and have been signed, so you are advised to contact Mr. Fedrick Leo of the United Nations Compensation Commission, as he is our representative in United State Of America. Contact him immediately for your Compensation payment of $9,000.000.00 USD (NINE MILLION DOLLARS) which will be released directly to you in accordance with legal clearance and procedures.
 
It is my pleasure to inform you that your ATM Card Number; 4000128498979908 have been approved in your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 6062. The ATM Card Value is $9,000.000.00 USD (NINE MILLION DOLLARS) You are advised that a most withdrawal value of $15,000.00 USD is permitted on withdrawal per Day and we are duly Inter Switch and you can make withdrawal in any Inter Switch site and ATM Center of your choice.  
 
It eventually got around to telling me that it would only cost me $370 USD to be so specially picked for this award.
 
Like Jack and Dianne....two American kids getting et..in the heartland.
 
That bear is on to something.
 
But even he couldn't bear what I dun to their email, Ma:
 
 
Attention;
NOTE: If you received this message in your SPAM/BULK folder, it is because it IS SPAM, and not the type you can cut up and fry with all sorts of sh*t to make culinary dishes of dubious ingredicedence.  That said,  we urge you to treat it genuinely, because no one else that's received it has so far, and that hurts our feewings.
 
You may not understand why this email came to you. 
Nor will your therapist.
In regards to the recent meeting between the United Nations Suckretary Genital, the Cyber Crimes Commission (CCc), Fauxderal Bureau of Investigation(FBI) and the United States Government to further dilute the dignity of nations like Nigeria, a bunch of us got together, did some meth and butt boinked some goats, and we made up an Agreement with the World Flank Ass Project to help and make the world a better place for butts of all shapes and sizes.  We have been having meetings for the past 3 months with the Suckretary Genital of the United Nations.  It took three months because he's such a useless twat waffle.
 
This email come to those who are yet to receive this email and have not as yet been scammed in any part of the world and or by any part of the world;  this includes every foreign and domestic motherf**er that may have not received their fair share of getting cyber butt boinked by low life sacks of sh*t like us.
Recently we watched an episode from the 1960s TV show The FBI and we were assured by the fact that never once on that show from the 1960s did they  arrest internet fraudsters and Scammer with large amount of money.  We realize how stupid this makes us sound, but if you don't know why, you're more stupider than we is.
So in this version of a game show where we take elements from The Gong Show, The Newly Wed Game, Let's Make a Deal, The Price Is Vincent and Jeopardy, if you are receiving this email it means you were select to be one among 100 selected victims to be scammed by something so convolutedly cornfusing that even we aren't sure what the AFLAC f**k we've created here. 
At any rate, the Suckretary Genital of the  The UNITED NATIONS have agreed to allow us to try this crap and see if it works. 
 
100 people where selected across the Globe for this MIDDLE OF THE YEAR scam -- even though it's November -- and Your name and email jumped right out at us because some incompetent scammer from a fly infested internet café in Nigeria, South Africa, or some suckass place, by the name of Coin Security and James Patrick, was embarrassingly thwarted in his efforts to give you the business, so now it's our turn.
 
However, you should send us your following:  
Full Name/
Telephone Number/
your Residential Address/
Gender:
Occupation:
New email address for this safety of this transaction
 
Contact Mr. Fedrick Leo immediately for our turn at this sh*t:
 
Mr. Fedrick Leo
Director- Genital,
ATM Scam Card
New Yawhk Field Office
Phone Number: : +1 (785) 7564736 Text Message Only (cuz we don't talk like real New Yawhkas and that'll blow our cover)
Email: mrfedrickleo@yahoo.com     

He is obliged to give you a call and treat your case with utmost contempt that we scammers have for the unscammed...you dirty bastard.
 
NOTE: Under normal circumstances the scam collection of your ATM CARD would involve such acronyms as the IMF, WFA, AMA, ADA, WTF, KMA, UNICEF, UNICORN, UNIDORK,  and a fauxFinance Ministry of a Third World dump of  a country.  And it will ONLY COST YOU just $370 USD only, which is all we need from you to add you to the "Scammed Mugu" files we have on our walls, and occasionally have to use for toilet paper, when the tree bark outside is too green or not growd back yet. 
Yes, that's only $370 USD.  Believe you me, we could have tried to scam you for far more, or what's behind Curtain Number 2.  Some of us motherless scum wanted to, but the Suckretary Genital of the UN said not this time.
Asshat.
Ask Mr. Fedrick Leo  and his desk will tell you how all of this works.  It'll be his desk talking to you, because Mr. Fedrick Leo has an IQ of 36.
 We also advise that you stop further communications with these other imposters; you're ours, Vagina Lips.
 
Making the world like Syria!  Or at least Shotcago.
REGARDS.
Mr.Milner Jacson
 
 
Perhaps this will trigger warn them into needing a safe space with cupcakes, puppies and teddy bears.  Oh wait...they're not at Stanford.  Never mind...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahahaha. This one is one of your best.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

22 December, 2016 09:55  

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