Monday, November 28, 2016

Eating Entwistles

I guess when a scammer is desperate for a score, they'll read what they want to of a reply, if not just totally skip the content of the reply and simply respond BECAUSE they got a reply.

That seems to be the case of the scammer playing the US Ambassador to Nigeria, James Entwistle.

Here's his opening ploy:


Office of the US Ambassador to Nigeria
11 Garki road Abuja
Abuja, Nigeria.
Tel: +2347084639869.


Att:Beneficiary,

Without mincing words, I am convinced 100% that you have had bitter experience with various scammers claiming to be high government officials banks and thereby defrauding you of your hard earned money the activities of these scammers has changed your perspective about conducting business on the internet and you now believed there is no genuine business that can be conducted on the internet. Well I am American and the internet was created by Americans for the purpose of creating; awareness for your products/ services and conducting genuine business with ease. I am fully committed to deliver the diplomatic consignment to you. I am a full citizen of the United States but i was on a mission here in Nigeria as a us ambassador to Nigeria.

Hence, I am making every effort to ensure that no citizen of the United States is cheated by Nigeria/Benin republic. Therefore, I need your utmost support and understanding to actualize this dream. I also want you to understand that i do trust you and i expect you to show me the same trust and respect in return since trust is a 2-way street. On the other hand, trust is a relationship of reliance. Trust also means being able to predict what other people will do and what situations will occur.

I shall be coming to your country for an official meeting on Monday and I will be bringing your funds of $5M along with me but this time I will not go through customs because as an ambassador to Nigeria, I am a us government agent and I have the veto power to go through customs. As soon as I am through with the meeting I shall then proceed to your address. (Send your cell phone number and the address where you want me to bring the package).

You have really paid so much in this delivery that makes me wonder. You are a very lucky person because I shall be bringing it myself and there is nothing anyone can do about it, your package($5 MILLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS) must be registered as an ambassadorial package for me to defeat all odds and the cost of registering it is $178.the fee must be paid in the next 50 hours via western union or money gram so that all necessary arrangement can be made before time will be against us. Contact me immediately for the registering fee which is $178 only.  



You get the gist.

Here was my character's simple reply:


What, the Nigerians haven't eaten you yet?  
 
 
His reply reveals a full reading comprehension *FAIL*:
 
 
Office of the US Ambassador to Nigeria
11 Garki Road Abuja
Abuja, Nigeria.
Tell: +2347084639869.

Att:Frank Unsteen,

May peace of the Lord be with you and your family over there. Thanks
for your email and explaining your mind to me. I understand you have
to be very careful before sending the money. I know you have hard some
transaction you are involved before or now but I want you to know that
this will surprise you because you will receive your fund once the
money is sent. I am a man of honor and I don't need your money for
anything.

Honestly, I am not disputing your curiosity and feeling of UN-known
fear. Obviously there are many bad people out there without human
conscience who can do anything just to get quick money that never last
and can not solve their problem. Look I am a devout Christian and my
relationship with God matters a lot because God is watching every of
our activities good or bad. I feel bad seeing people doing all kind of
silly things just to fleece innocent people their hard earn income.

Receivers Name: Paul Edu
Receiver's Address: Abuja, Nigeria.
Text Questions: To Whom?
Text Answer:Paul.
Amount: $178.
MTCN:

I shall be earnestly expecting your swift response to this mail upon
its receipt.

Thank you,
Mr. James F.Entwistle,  
 
 
So my character tries again:
 
 
Gee..all I asked was whether the Nigerians had eaten you yet.   The rest never entered my mind.  
 
 
 
 We still are not quite connecting in the reading comprehension department:

Why must I cheat you? Does that solve my problems?  Look this world does not end on the planet earth, after death come judgment.
Therefore, my relationship with God matters.  I want you to know that
there is no peace for the wicked ones and you must always be better
than them in all spheres of life.

Receivers Name: Paul Edu
Receiver's Address: Abuja, Nigeria.
Text Questions: To Whom?
Text Answer:Paul.
Amount: $178.
MTCN:

I shall be earnestly expecting your swift response to this mail upon
its receipt.

Thank you,
Mr. James F.Entwistle,
Us Ambassador To Nigeria.  



Did I accuse you of cheating me?  I simply asked you why it is that the Nigerians surrounding you have not yet eaten you.  For a US ambassador, you're not terribly bright.  
 
 
Someone finally rang a gong that 'Entwistle' heard and allowed him to understand what the last email actually said...perhaps a dinner bell?

you are disgusted.  This is too serious for child.  Are you serious or not?  


I would think that getting eaten by the locals would be pretty f**king serious, dude.  Did they do you as a tamale, brisket, BBQ or skewer?  Know that of course Hellary won't rescue your ass if Boko Harumphf gets their mitts on you, so getting et might be a worthy option.  Think of the world hunger you'll cure for at least one happy hour.  


Either that was too much for the recipient....or he got et.

Some might not, but then again, I ain't some...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. Some of these folks have lost most of the tape on their package. Bless their thieving hearts.

Have a fabulous day Mike. My best to Seymour and Element. ☺

28 November, 2016 09:28  

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