The Mistake Was In The Askin'

Ms Celine apparently makes a lot of mistakes from the bowels of Scamland.

A big one was contacting my character.

Here's her mistake:


i want be of help to get your fund transferred into your bank account but there are  thing that I need to know before moving further.

{1} I want you to forward to me some information’s about this transaction some of your conversation with the bank,

{2}I am a trust worthy young lady I never married and I like business to sponsor myself so I want know exactly the amount the will be my shear after confirming your fund there in your country?

{3} I want to know more about your personality?
Yours ms.celine,
Thanks,   


She wants to know more about my character's personality?  Whoa, dudette...no, you really don't.

But what the heck...since she asked:

 i want be of help to get your fund transferred into your bank account but there are  thing that I need to know before moving further.
{1} I want you to forward to me some information’s about this transaction some of your conversation with the bank,

Response:  I have as yet not had a conversation with my bank about this transaction, as it is pretty still unknowd to me.
{2}I am a trust worthy young lady I never married and I like business to sponsor myself so I want know exactly the amount the will be my shear after confirming your fund there in your country?

Response:  I don't have answers to much of that just yet, though is "trustworthy" and "bustworthy" synonymous?  And just how much of a shear do you want?  There's no shortage of wind shear during mesocyclonic events hereabouts, if that's what you're into.
{3} I want to know more about your personality?

Response:  ah...you sooner or later had to get down to inquiring about MY personality.  Well okay, let's see how sorry you asked I can make you:

I am an obfuscative-concussive personality, abby normal and O positive bloodgally.  I can fart anywhere, at will or anyone else in range; my ex-fiancée used to refer to me as her biggest wind instrument.  I get it now.  I like things that like me back, unless they like me to the point of trying to eat me, then I withdraw my like with extreme prejudice and a heavy caliber weapon.  After which I hypocritically cook and eat them, though they don't call me Chef Boy-R-Dee-structive for nothing.  I have considerable reservoirs of knowledge that are two inches deep.  I am inexperienced with trigger warnings, safe zones and cupcakes that curl into a ball and foul themselves repeatedly on college campuses where knowledge is "noledge" and "societal wimp" is the norm.  I have a pet rock and indulge it with continental travel.  In a box.  If I had a dog, he/she'd get enough cheese.  I don't hire people with hooks attached to Neverland captains.  I've never had a good time by calling Candy at the number that Rikki lost.  I've learned that when pet rocks parody song lyrics, big squirrels don't fly and that Lucy's getting high on door knobs.  Frankly, I don't know how Lucy does that.  I am a curable romantic and believe cured bacon is easier to deal with.  They call me the Wonderer, 'cuz I wonder whether you're a moron by birth or choice, and won't be satisfied until my pizza is psychic enough to help me with the March Madness brackets.  For all my lost opportunities, I do know who shot JR and who killed Kenny, and at one time in my life I knew every episode of The Gong Show by heart until it was syndicated in Liechtenstein, whenst it became lost in translation. Alles gefallen undt hundsfott midde bark undt yappin undt schtuff.

There's so little more I could tell you but my syllable count just had a well done steak driven through its heart.

The reverberating *silence* that resulted from this response confirms my suspicion that Ms Celine didn't REALLY want to know about my character's personality.

Or she's desperately trying to review every episode of The Gong Show to see what my character was talking about.  Trust me:  it'll take more than The Gong Show to figger that out.