Saturday, September 17, 2016

An IRS Edit Gone Hellary

That's about how she'd look, iffen she did read it.

Scammers regularly love to represent themselves as governmental agencies....the bigger and more intimidating, the better.

Who or what can be more intimidating to anyone (other than Snoopy) than the IRS?

So reasoned one email scammer, who came up with this:


 
  
Sir/Madam,
 
Our records indicate that you are a Non-resident, and that you are exempted from the United States of America Tax reporting and withholdings on interest paid to you on your account and other financial benefits. To protect your exemption from tax on your account and other financial benefits, you need to re-certify your exempt status to enable us confirm your records with us.
 
1. We need you to provide your permanent address and US address if any. if different from the current mailing address. You must indicate as a Non-US resident, the country you are residing, to support your non-resident status and if your bank or other financial institutions you are dealing with has a US address for mailing purposes.
 
2. Please complete 1 through 11 and have all account holder(s) (if more than one account holder) sign and date the form separately and send to us through the fax number or email at the bottom of the W-8BEN form. Note that if your W-8BEN FORM together with a copy of your International passport is not received from you after 7days from the day of the receipt of this letter you will lose your Non-resident status and be listed as undocumented,resulting in the standard rate of 30% being applied on any dividend or interest income received on your investments/accounts.*
 
List of required documents:
1.A copy of filled W-8BEN FORM.
2.A photocopy of the photo page of your international passport.
 
*If you should receive multiple notifications,it means previous filled out forms was not properly filled and as such,we need you to refill needed columns and re-fax oremail to us using the details at the bottom of W-8BEN.
.
 
We appreciate your co-operation in helping us protect your exempt status and also confirm our records.
Sincerely,
Angela M. Barrett.
IRS Public Relation  
 
 
While most reasoned, rational people out there with more than a DNC education would recognize this ploy for the scam it is, a lot of DNC adherents would be intimidated into following the instructions of this email.  As the scammers believe, "if only one idiot falls for this, won't it be worth it?".
 
So it came time for me to don my 'edit hat', even though I don't wear hats, and have a little fun with this version of the IRS:
 
 
From: Angela M. Barrett <irs.gov@globalgroups.us.org>
Sent: Thursday, August 25, 2016 12:46 AM
Subject: Tax Enema Mortification

 
 
  
 
Sir/Madam/Combinations Of Either and/or Neither,
 
Our records -- when played at 78 rpm backward -- indicate that you are a a devil bunny that snorts the banana, and that you are exempted from the Uranus Name Recovery Fund tax reporting and withholdings on interest paid to you on your account and other financial thingamabobs.  This is clearly not in keeping with IRS statue 1.1.1 -- a life size one of Hellary with her hand out and engraved with "If you got it, We want it!" -- as it costs large ass sums of money to keep that extra large ass in pant suits, along with the ransom money barry obola has to send to Iran regularly.  To prevent you from being classified a white male conservative stormtrumper racing gate hormone phone, you need to re-certify your exempt status to enable us confirm your records at 78 rpm with us so we can be assured that you're not a devil bunny snorting the banana.
 
1. We need you to provide your first born butt polyp, if any. If different from the current butt polyp our spy camera in your toilet has detected. You must indicate as a Non-Earth resident, the planet from which you are off or from, to support your non-resident status and if your bank or other financial institutions you are dealing with has donated to the Clinton Crimedation for favor purposes.
 
2. Please compete with 1 through 11 and write a 500 word essay in Azerbaijani that explains the reasons that you keep telling people to "just throw a bucket of water" on Hellary.  Note that if your W-8BEN FORM together with a copy of your International passport is not received from you after 7days from the day of the receipt of this letter you will lose your virginity to an Iranian swift boat named Achmed and be listed as a white male conservative stormtrumper racing gate hormone phone, which we are assured by pmsnbc will make you alienated in bingo clubs and get you banned from appearing on syndicated reruns of The Gong Show.*
 
List of required documents (which may be hacked from Hellary's primate email server that's concealed in the cleft of her massive ass):
1.A copy of filled W-8BEN FORM in Azerbaijani.
2.A photocopy of the photo page of your international passport without the editorial comments of your fifth grade class from Podunk Elementary, wherever and whenever that was.
 
* If you should receive multiple notifications, it means our nippleheaded DNC volunteers were too busy auditioning as genital humidors for Bill, and your previous filled out forms was not properly vetted and got fed to a shredder along with Hellary's missing emails and efemailsfilled -- which were blamed on Colin Powell, Richard Nixon and a republican duck named Howard -- and as such, we need you to refill needed columns with donated meth for our afternoon coffee breaks using the details at the bottom of W-8BEN. .
 
We don't give a sh** about your appreciation for our efforts, since it required us to listen to your records backward at 78 rpm to learn that you are devil bunnies snorting the banana. We thought Bill had that role.
 
Angela M. Barrett.
IRS Pubic Relation For Bill Clinton (aka The Arkansas Clit Licker)  
 
 
This version of the IRS didn't bother to reply as soon as they got to the devil bunnies and snorting the banana; they've probably tried it and found it doesn't achieve succor.  I doubt we'll hear from Hellary's stupor volunteers either, though they promised to be all over media that didn't say the politically correct things about the Wicked Witch of Chappaqua...

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