Sunday, September 11, 2016

The Medusa Effect

Look not too closely, for ancient tales tell you that to look at the face of Medusa will turn you to stone.

'Nuff said.

Found a way to work that and other elements into an email scam edit here.

Here's the gist of the scam, many times seed h'yarbouts:


Dear Elected.
I bring peace and love to you from God and our lord Jesus Christ. It is by the grace of God that I received Christ, Having known the truth; I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God mercy and glory upon my life.

I am Mrs. Esther Masego the wife of Late Mr. Sadasivan Masego from Malaysia, My husband worked with the Central Bank Of Malaysia for ten years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for twenty-seven years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of 9,900,000.00 GBP (Nine Million Nine Hundred Thousand Great British Pound) with Barclays Bank PLC, UK.

Presently, this money is still with the bank and the management just wrote me as the next of kin to come forward to sign for the release of this fund only know to me and my late husband or rather issue an authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf if I cannot come over.

Unfortunately, I'm in a hospital in Malaysia where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer. I have lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only few months to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to any charitable organizations anywhere in the World. Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

Please will you utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein ?.  I want you to take 35% of the total money for your personal use. And 5% shall stand to settle any other expenses that may be incurred in the course of executing the transaction, while the remaining 60% of the money will go to charity people in the street without home, helping the orphanage and less-privileged once.

Please i don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband's relatives around me always. So please kindly send me only E-mail here (esthermasego@163.com) because I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your response I shall give you the contact of my late husband Attorney who is in Europe as he will be the one to assist you in laying claims for this money. Your prompt reply will be appreciated. Thank you.

Yours in Christ,
Mrs. Esther Masego .
My Personal E-mail:  esthermasego@163.com  



Alrighty then.  Here's how my character chose to respond in edit mode:


Dearly beloved, 
 We are gathered here in the presence of a marmot and a yak, under the grace of the evil baphomet Gorgonzola who looks like Hellary Clinton in a 6 XXXL butt thong, to join these two bestialities as marmot and yak -  what, were you expecting them to become waffle iron and toaster oven? - in the throes of holy sh*t, as accredited in the Atheist's Travelogue of the Galaxy of Cygnus V, related loosely to the Pram of Horkstra, and being an honorable office before being taken over by Occutards that smelled worse than goats in heat.
 
 I am Mrs. Esther Masego, a blighted soul of dubious antecedence and no attached genitals, having been a Lego game in my previous life and having a komodo dragon steal them when I was on a pilgrimage to Singapore to audition to be one of Bill Clinton's intern genital humidors, only to find that being genital-less, I did not qualify.
 
F**k.  That's a procreative word used as a colorful metaphor, for those of you at the DNC that need things explained to you.
 
I was once married for twenty-seven years without a child.  Having had my Lego genitals stolen by a komodo kinda made that inevitable, ya think???
 
My Husband died after being shot at the Cincinnati Zoo. Before his death we were both born again Simians.  He should have stayed here.  Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child in Cincinnati since I might get shot there too.

All those gathered here, if there is any reason why any of you see any reason why this marmot and this yak should not be joined in the throes of a really kinky sex position, speak now or forever direct your iphones h'yar for some future YouTube video, you sick bastards.

Unfortunately, I'm in a hospital in Malaysia where I have been undergoing treatment for having looked at a picture of the chairpoison of the Demoncrap National Crimeittee and having been turned to stone.  I have lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only few months to either get cured or shipped to a rock quarry. It is my last wish to see Trump throw hellary and obola in prison and fire everyone at pmsnbc.   I cannot live with the agony of entrusting constitutional responsibility to any of them.
  
 Please will you utilize a chisel to chip away and get at an itch between my shoulder blades?

Please i don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my concrete nature and presence of asphalt contractors trying to figure out why a picture of Debbil Wasserputz Schultz does better concrete work than they can. So please kindly send me only E-mail here (esthermasego@163.com) because I don't want them to know that asphalt isn't concrete or a problem with one's butt.  With a cell phone, texting app and a twatwaffle, all of the dumbest things in life are possible.
 
 As soon as I receive your response I shall give you the contact of my late Attorney who is in southeastern Europe looking for necks to bite and avoiding reverends with crosses and sharpened stakes.  Your prompt reply will be appreciated as that itch between my shoulder blades is getting worse.

Yours in concrete,
 Mrs. Esther Masego .
 My Personal E-mail:
esthermasego@163.com  
 
 
The scammer figured it out with her silence (a concrete larynx makes it tough to talk anyway), and the DNC knows better than to figure I can be converted to a hellary voter by this time.  I'm sure my typed invitation to a conservative concentration camp is awaiting dispatch if this country is so dumb as to not indict her...

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Bwahahahahahahaha. I love how you twist these letters into something funny and weird at the same time.

Is Seymour and Element back home safely? The tracking number never worked for me.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

11 September, 2016 09:38  

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