Friday, August 12, 2016

Pissing Off 'Interpol'

When you get an email with this logo at the top, you just KNOW it has to be legit, right?

I mean, everyone KNOWS that Interpol works in conjunction with the UK Lottery to get cheques distributed to the scammed of the world.

Not.

Since the FauxBI has been failing to scam my character, now Interpol is gonna try.  Witness their ploy:


NATIONAL LOTTERY COMPENSATION FUNDS
 

We wish to inform you that it has come to our notice that you won the National UK Lottery but did not claim it when due. We also found out that you have been scammed by Nigerian scammers. We regret to tell you that we are doing our best to arrest these scammers and we will keep ou updated as to when arrests have been made. If you are in communication with any Nigerian, please stop it now or we would have you arrested. Sending money to Nigerian scammers is a criminal offence. You are being compensated by the National Lottery to the sum of GBP1million (One Million British Pounds Sterling). Your cheque has been drawn and it to be moved to Royal Mail for onward delivery to you. You are to send US$300 only for delivery of the cheque. We would be monitoring the situation with Royal Mail.

If you are in contact with any Nigerian claiming to pay you any money, please stop now. They are scammers and impersonators and will only get you into further trouble.

To avoid delay, I have taken the liberty to find out from Royal Mail how you could send the $300 to them and they gave me the details below

Payments are to be made via MONEYGRAM ONLY . The payment should be made in the name below

Name: Jane Waremba
Address: 25 Marylebone Street, London, SE13, 6TS, United Kingdom..
Amount: 200pounds (USD$300)


Scan and send the moneygram transfer slip/receipt via email to me. If you do not have a scanner, email the following information: 

1. Name and Address of Sender
2. 8 digits for moneygram
3. Test Question and Answer, if any.


I am here to ensure you get the cheque as soon as you make paymnet. Delivery of cheque will take three days after you send the US$300.
Contact me via my private email ( mireillebballestrazzi@yahoo.com )
 

Mireille Ballestrazzi
President of INTERPOL
INTERPOL  
 
I love the touch about how my character could be arrested if he sent money to Nigerians; I'll have to tell my next Nigerian scammer about that.
 
Meantime, an edit was due, along with an edit of the President of Interpol:
 
 
NATIONAL BAILING OUT OF EU CONSTIPATION ACT 

We wish to inform you that it has come to our notice that you have taked note of the UK leaving the EU and the acronyms that this may has occasioned you to use, including the universal WTF which are one that we really don't like you using, so don't use it.  We also found out that you have not yet been scammed by Nigerian scammers. We regret to tell you that we are tasked to see that you are moved from the "not scammed" list to the "scammed" list and will be doing our best to achieves that. If you are in communication with any Nigerian, Liberian, Beninan, Ivory Coastian, Botswanan, Burundan, Senegalese, Upper Voltan, Ghanan, walk like an Egyptian, Sudanian, Ethidopian, or any other possible ian of dubious antecedence, please don't stop it now or we would have you arrested. Not sending money to Nigerian and other scammers is a criminal offence punishable by incarceration and having to listen to hellary shriek and cackle on a 214/7 msnbc/cnn loop. You are being monitored by Royal Mail for onward progress toward your being scammed. You are to send US $300 so that we may cross you off one list and add you to others. We would be monitoring the situation with Royal Mail.

If you are in contact with any Nigerian claiming all sorts of simple to exotic shit, please don't stop now. They are scammers and impersonators just trying to make a living and you offend them when you don't fall for their various and assorted schticks, and if we have to give your name to assorted American college campuses for being insensitive, this will only get you into further trouble.

To avoid delay, I have taken the liberty to find out from Royal Mail how you could send the $300 to satisfy our demands and they gave me the details below

Payments are to be made via MONKEYGLAM ONLY . The payment should be made in the name below

Name: Jane Waremba
Address: 25 Marylebone Street, London, SE13, 6TS, United Kingdom..
Amount: 200 pounds (though she weighs a shitload more than that) and USD equivalent is $300

Scam and send the monkeyglam transgender slip/kilt via email to me. If you do not have a scammer, email the following information to me because I am here to be that which you ain't gots:   

1. Name and what you're wearing (Address, pants, sweats, nothing at all)
2. 18 digits for monkeyglam
3. Testicle Question and Answer, if any.

I am here to ensure you get moved from the "not scammed" list to the "scammed" list soonest that you make paymnet. If you don't want be arrested you do this soonest to send the US $300.
Contact me via my primate email ( mireillebballestrazzi@yahoo.com ) 

Mireille Ballestrazzi
 

 
President of INTER...hey...WTF just happened to ME?????  I didn't have TEETH in the other picture!!!!!!!!!
DANG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    DAMMIT...THAT'S NOT ME EITHER!!!!!!  MOMMY, MAKE THEM STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
     
     
     
     
     

     AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YOU ARE GONNA BE SO ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
    After that, fauxInterpol don't like me no mores than the FauxBI does.  No mores has speaks widdem.  This must prove my arrested development.  Still, since I intended no harm, I get a pass just like Hellary, right?
 

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1 Comments:

Blogger Sandee said...

Royal Mail. You need to explain that to me. Really.

Love your edits.

Have a fabulous day and weekend. Seymour and Element send their best. ☺

12 August, 2016 08:45  

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