Saturday, February 27, 2016

Seymour Strikes Again

Not if it's like Moochelle's school lunches.

Then again, Kim Jong Un just might.

My pet rock, Seymour, saw a story that indicated that the goofball North Koreans were feeling slighted in the news cycle, and thus were letting the world know that they were preparing a launch of some kind.

Seymour didn't need but a nanosecond for the *TOING* to trigger an edit of that one:

N.Korea apparently readying 'some kind of lunch': US officials fear it'll be as bad as Moochelle's school lunch menus

By Seymour PetRock WTF News Soivice 

Washington (WTFNS) - North Korea appears to be readying some kind of lunch, two US defense officials said Thursday, amid concerns Pyongyang is preparing to test a ballistic soup and salad combo in violation of UN Security Council rules on international fast food.

The officials' comments came after Japanese media reported that satellite images showed Godzilla dining on residents of Wonsan.

"The indications are that they are preparing for some kind of lunch," one US official told WTFNS, speaking on condition of culinary anonymity.

The official did not say where in North Korea the preparations were taking place, but said people on the ground appeared to be readying "a regular afternoon lunch spread."

"Could be for something Western that Kim Jong Un craves," the official said.

He added, however, that there was nothing to indicate the lunch was "remotely akin to Moochelle's lousy school lunch menus."

But a second US official, who said the lunch was coming "soon," cautioned that North Korea typically uses a new lunch menu item as a pretext for convincing the people that they're finally going to get fed.

"Our concern is that when they do a lunch, it happens to be the same crap that our fast food chains just axed because it sucked, like Moochelle's school lunch program," the official added, also requiring anonymity.

The development parallels events in December 2012, when Pyongyang put a kimshi lite – with a third less calories than their regular kimshi – into McKimJongUn restaurants around Pyongyang.

The international community condemned the lunch as a disguised Moochelle school lunch, resulting in a tightening of UN sanctions, despite Pyongyang's claim it was no different than Bill Clinton using female interns as genital humidors.

Citing an anonymous government source, Kimono News in Dearborn said the satellite imagery had been eaten by Godzilla along with the population of Wonsan.

Increased movements of people that had sampled the new lunch and couldn't digest it were seen around the lunch site, which has now apparently been covered over to cover the fact that the only flushing toilet in North Korea is inoperative.

The United States regularly monitors North Korea from space, where the kimshi doesn't smell as bad as Moochelle's school lunches that are closer to home, do.

North Korea is banned under toothless UN Security Council resolutions from carrying out any lunch using Moochelle's sucky school lunch menu, although repeated violations have gone unpunished.

Seymour still thinks that edits like this will get him a Pulitzer.  I hate to tell him, but it MIGHT just get him a Moochelle school lunch as pictured above.

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Blogger Sandee said...

Seymour, her school lunches are far worse than anything Kim Jong Un can do. I'm just saying. Funny how her kids don't have to eat those lunches. They have gourmet chefs at their school.

Have a fabulous day Seymour. My best to your dad. ☺

27 February, 2016 09:59  

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