Anudda Spell Caster FAIL

Well whaddaya know?  2016 found one of my characters receiving yet anuddah offer from anuddah spell caster.

*Yawn*

My pet rock, Seymour, immediately went into hiding, not wanting to be turned into something...anything...inadvertently.

Looks like my character would have the spell caster to hisself.

Here's the latest in a line of spell caster scammers:

Complement of the day
 
Hello Good day,   I'm Dr voodani coastal a strong spiritual spell
caster and a solution solver,so do you want to have unlimited wealth?
fame or want to solve you love problems? worry no more because i am
specialized in solving people  marital problems, financial problems,
and spiritual problems round the world and i put smile on my people
faces. as you all know I'm a man of  short words if you have problems
you need to solve i would like you to visit
voodanispelltemple@facebook.com  or email:voodanispellhelp@gmail.com.
You must have heard of me? i have lot of person's who have testify
about my miraculous work in their lives, below are names and email
addresses  of some of the people i have helped if you are in a doubt
or you wish knowing more better your self.
 
1) gunther sabrina from  Germany divorced for barring for 15 years
without any issue but the moment she had the fate and explain to me
less than a week she conceived today she's a mother of 4 kids, she's
still grateful till date. her email (gunthersabrina@outlook.com)
 
2)Fredrick bryan from united states California, he was diagnosed with
cancer, after explaining things to me and letting me know what he had
gone through for years, because of he's illness he lost he's wife and
kids but today they are one big happy family, because he had the fate
and believe i would help him. email (fredrickbryan23@gmail.com)
 
3)william gilbert from tennesse united sate of america,he's having a
company and everything went astrey lots of problems were coming he's
way and he almost shutdown the company because of lack of funds and
customers petronizing him, he called me for help and the ancient blue
spirit looked into he's problem and he bacame wealthy and the company
was more equiped and lots of client started giving him contract,
(william_gilbert011@mail.com)
 
 There are countless number of person's i have helped solve their problems.
 
I also specializes on the followings below:
 
(1) If you want your ex back.
 
(2) If you want to be promoted in your office.
 
(3) If you want a child.
 
(4) If you want to be rich.
 
(5) if you have any sickness like ( H I V/AIDS ),(CANCER) or any sickness.
 
(6)If you want a woman to love you more than anything in the world
 
(7)If you want fame and be more popular than ever.
 
There are lots of others that where not listed, i want you to know
that there is no problem too big for the great ancient blue UGIEHKA
can not handdle.
 
once again make sure you contact me if you have any problem i will
help you. email me on (voodanispellhelp@gmail.com}   

 

A spell caster that posts testimonials...that's a new one.

 

No matter...my character is ready for (almost) anything with this edit:

 

 

Condiment of the day:  asparagus spit
 
Hello Good day, I'm Dr Voodani Coastal, a Third World delusional sorcerer that frankly sucks ass as I can't even turn gas into a fart without sh*tting myself.

 
Nonetheless, I must market myself as a strong spiritual spell caster and a solution solver, so do you want to have unlimited wealth?  If you didn't buy a winning Powerball ticket, you dun missed that train leaving the station, Bunkey.

Do you want to solve you love problems? worry no more because i am the owner of a large herd of very frisky goats.
 
As you all know I'm a man of short, misspelled and frequently misused words so if you have pogroms you need to solvent i would like eat you while you visitvoodanispelltemple@facebook.com or email: voodanispellhelp@gmail.com.

You must have heard of me? i am the smell caster that reinflate Hellary Clinton's sex toys while she trying to be shoved into her XXXXL pant suits.  I design email server that she conceal in that ass to hide it from Trey Gowdy.
>
Here now are three peoples of dubious antecedence that ask me to turn them into unique sexual performers, and with a badda bing badda boom, hocus pocus and ally ally whoopsie doodle dagnabbit, I gave them all piranha genitals.  Don't believe me?  Ask 'em yourself: 
 gunthersabrina@outlook.com
fredrickbryan23@gmail.com
william_gilbert011@mail.com
>
> There are countless number of person's i have done this to and I can do it to you too!

>
> I also specializes on the followings below:
>
> (1) If you want your ex back, you really deserve piranha genitals.
>
> (2) If you want to be a viral video on a porn site.
>
> (3) If you want to have sex with orthipods.
>
> (4) If you want to look like Michael Moore's ass.
>
> (5) if you have any constipated mathematicians that worked it out with a pencil and still have THAT pencil.
>
> (6)If you want a orthopedic goat to love you more than anything in the world
>
> (7)If you want to face plant in a turd pie.
>
> There are lots of others that where not listed, i want you to know that there is no problem too big for the great ancient blue UGIEHKA UNGA BUNGA OOGA BOOGA ANAL POLYP can not handle with gloves and vaseline.
>
> once again make sure you contact me if you haven't yet any problem i will help you have a sh*tload of them. email me on (voodanispellhelp@gmail.com}  


While my pet rock hides under the love seat and expects to see me (aka, my character) turned into something unspeakable, I find that not only does nothing happen....the spell caster won't even have speaks with me.

Nor, amusingly enough, will his testimonials.

Unless he inadvertently turned both hisself AND testimonials into piranha genitals?

Bet that'll leave a mark...