Skunkfeathers: The Empire Strikes Out...Again

Perhaps after this edit, Miki Williams might think about it, too.

We'll keep this simple...here's the opening gambit of a scammer intent on getting something for nothing, like so many obola voters out there:

Attention.!!

HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS?

I 'm contacting you by your email however, I feel it's best and more convenient for me to explain why I am contacting you.

I'm Mr. Miki Williams a United States Special investigator, I work hand in hand with the United States Fraud Unit of the Criminal Investigation Division (CID).

I'm specialize in Background Investigations on funds which include [COMPENSATION/INHERITANCE FUNDS OR NEXT OF KIN, Consignment Box, Lotto® JACKPOT, LOANS] and I notice that you have being receiving numerous emails from people who claims to have funds coming to you but I advise that if you're still in communication with any of them on issue of funds however, you're hereby advise to stop every communication right now because those people has being investigated and confirmed to be a Fraud.

I wish to announce our successful investigation which was carried out few days ago; I guess it will interest you to know why this investigation was conducted.

For your information, it was truly confirmed that you have 100% Legitimate unpaid transaction and you have every right to claim this funds as you're been confirmed to be the right Beneficiary of the said amount $3 Million usd COMPENSATION/INHERITANCE FUNDS OR NEXT OF KIN however, Due to the delay of getting this funds to you, your funds has now been increased to $5.5 Million United State Dollars approved for payment by International Monetary Fund (IMF) here in United States.

I'm informing you this today because I came to notice that you're not communicating with a legitimate person who is in charge of getting these funds to you.

This announcement has to be made open to you however because you may have being swindled by those unscrupulous people whom you have sent money in the course of getting one fund or the other which is not real and for this reason, I have decided to help you get your funds directly from the International Monetary Fund (IMF) here in United States because your Legitimate funds remains unpaid.

I want to know if you're interested in receiving your unpaid legitimate funds value $5.5 Million usd however, I will only be of help if you agreed to follow my instructions.

If you're really interested in receiving your unpaid $5.5 Million USD, I advise that you get back to me immediately. All I need is your cooperation and understanding.

..and my gullibility AND my fee payment.

*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZER* Or, as my pet rock or Bill the Cat would respond, "PHFFFFFFT!!"

Thus, the scammer received this edit of his email, along with a large number of his colleagues, peers, and sycophants in the DNC:

On Friday, January 15, 2016 10:46 AM, Mr. Miki Williams <officefbi1000@gmail.com> fouled his/herself repeatedly after having wrote:

Attention.!!

HAVE YOU BEEN ABLE TO RECEIVE YOUR EWOK GENITALS?

I 'm contacting you by your email however, I feel it's best and more convenient for me to explain why I am contacting you.

I'm Mr. Miki Williams a United Federation of Planets & Vegetables Special incestigator, I work hand in crotch with the United Federation of Planets & Vegetables Fraud Unit of the Criminal Incestigation Division (CID). I'm specialize in Background Incestigations of cousins from Uranus, Ouranus, Anyanus, and the Evil Galactic Empire darksided by Darth Vader and his silly wife, Elle.

I wish to announce our successful incestigation which was carried out few days ago; I did my cousin It, and now we're expecting hairballs this fall. I can only imagine that it will interest you to know why this incestigation was conducted.

For your information, it was because I didn't want to do the space goats of Alpha Centuri III. They bite. And fart.

I'm informing you this today because I came to notice that you're not communicating with an alien cousin disguised as a tampon that is in charge of getting these ewok genitals to you.

This announcement has to be made open to you however because you may have being swindled by those unscrupulous dildo people from Cucumbus IV, I have decided to help you get your ewok genitals directly from the Interplanetary & Vegetable Cosmic Meadow Muffin Fund (IVCMMF) here in this solar system because your Legitimate ewok genitals remains attached to an ewok on a forest moon and the little bastard also bites. And farts. And apparently got its hands on some Evil Galactic Empire blasters.

Little pricks.

I want to know if you're interested in receiving your undelivered ewok genitals, or would opt for what's behind Door Number 2. I will only be of help if you agreed to follow my instructions. Jar Jar Binks didn't, and now he's Debbie Wasserman Sluts, and has a Medusa hairdo.

The ewoks are better.

If you're really interested in receiving what you gots coming from h'yah, to where you is th'yah, I advise that you get back to me immediately via Bella Oxmyx. All I need is your cooperation and understanding. And your Fallopian hamsters.

Please you can contact me back on my email by clicking your Reply.

Regard

Mr. Miki Williams

United Federation of Planets & Vegetables Special incestigator

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Contact by text only +18142301060

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This message was verified by antienema twister system and believed to be out of danger of flying monkeys and green tinged hellarys on brooms. Keep a bucket of water handy just in case one runs for president in your necks of the weirds.

The scammer(s) have yet to digest and process this response. My pet rock did get an email from a storm trooper at Priceline.com...