A Pet Rock 'Present' for Kim Jong Un

Oh whoops.

Another article by some news soivice somewhere about North Korea and it's pudgemeister, Kim Jong Un.

And the pet rock, Seymour, went immediately into edit mode:

North Korean test launch of missile from submarine *FAIL*

South Korean officials were unsure the missile even made it out of the submarine, let alone out of Pyongyang.

By Seymour PetRock – WTFNS


WASHINGTON, Nov. 28 (WTFNS) -- North Korea attempted to fire a missile from a submarine Saturday morning, and Kim Jong Un was present to watch it resemble a July 4th firework that did a superlative *FAIL*, according to South Korean officials.

The Pudgemeister, seconds before the North Korean clusterf*** of a test

The test is believed to have happened based on debris from a KMA-11 missile seen floating on the surface of what's left of the shark tank that Hans Brix bones were floating in, in Kim's palace in Pyongyang.  The test caused Kim Jong Un to execute the North Korean admiral in charge of the test by strapping his unhappy ass to a newly designed KMA-10.25 torpedo.  Which sank the submarine that fired it.

"Oh f***stick" was the official reply from North Korea's late admiral in charge of the test before his inevitabre demise.

"The North, again and again and AGAIN, appears to have failed in its launch," the official, who asked not to be identified, told Horsefeather-san News.

Sources inside North Korea told Hans Brix that in addition to no evidence the missile cleared the water, there was no indication it left the submarine either as fragments of the submarine were found blowd from the shark tank in Kim's Pyongyang palace to Seattle.

Firing or testing ballistic missiles is a violation of totally ignored and pretty much useless United Nations sanctions.  Sucketary General Ban Mai Tai Moon  says "we're going to write another letter to Un and tell him that his being the way he's acting is causing college students at UC Berkeley to freak out and demand more 'safe spots' from a follow up Team America World Police movie that has too many 'trigger words' and is politically incorrect in the extreme.  State Department hashtag queen Marie Barf is considering doing a #getKimJongUn$15-an-hour-andhewillbehave  campaign on Twit.

In May, North Korea touted what it called a successful test launch of a submarine-launched ballistic missile from Kim Jong Un's shark tank in his Pyongyang palace.  South Korean officials said it looked more like a twatwaffled clusterf*** than a successful test.

Despite the failure, analysts aren't terribly concerned about the idea of North Korea having submarine-launched ballistic missiles because of where North Korea is getting their subs:  Iran.

While the missile is the size of the sub, Kim Jong Un says "that not rerevant".  


Seymour continues to insist that this is Pulitzer quality material.

Eh.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!"

Seymour, I think that's what the North Korean missile sounded like...