That is what Thanksgiving would look like at my place, except excess smoke billowing from the kitchen is missing.
And the turkey isn't wearing a Scott Air Pack instead of a lampshade.
But I digress.
For Post #1100 on this blog, I again edit a chosen scammer of dubious antecedence and one that had no idea what was returning to him whenst he wrote my character.
Here is a piece of the scammer's ploy in which a scammer using the name Momoh Lawson really thinks he can pull this off:
How are you today,your family and your work/business? Believing that the Almighty God is in control? I am just coming back from the diplomatic courier service companies office,they give me their procedure,the stage where we are now is that they are charging us for their handling and delivery charges which you know that is normal because there is no how the consignment will be delivered/conveyed to you for free.
They charged us the sum of :$18,600 dollars for their services but will be splited into(3) parts and their condition is that we must try and pay to them the mobilization fee first before they start coming which is 1/3 of the their total charge.....$ 6,200 dollars only and the remaining balance $12,400 dollars you will pay to them when they get there and call you both of you meet face to face.
So,there is no how i am going to leave you to take care of the expenses alone but we have to share it together,i pay mine here and send the receipt to you which you will confirm from the company then contribute yours please. As they are prepared to start coming by tomorrow,they are demanding for any of your identifications which they will use to recognize you as the real beneficiary and claimant of the consignment when both of you meet and also this requirement are needed.
I like how my character's package went from free to $12,400.
Eh...inflation in Scam Land.
What went back to ol' Momoh isn't going to go over well in MargaBurkaville:
Do you believing that the Almighty Dawg is in control? I am just coming back from the diplomatic courier service companies office where they just threw one of the wildest parties that I am lucky to have been too drunk to recall, because they had it all: exploding jihadists, dancing camels, burkahed goats, playing The 52s version of Rock The Casbah at 150% normal speed backward, so that we could hear lyrics like "devil bunnies, devil bunnies, I snort the banana!" I still can't remember if I was raped by a camel or a goat, but at least I missed the last exploding jihadist for free.
The idiots they found to cater that party charged us the sum of $18,600 dollars for their services but since I taked Crummy Core meth your phart will be splited into (3) parts and their condition is that they took the same kind of alcohol that I did and are just as drunken stupored as I got, so one of three equal parts is not $ 6,200 dollars only and the remaining balance $12,400 dollars you cannot arrive at by simple subtraction. You must add three, carry the five, explain amoebic dysentery to a tree stump and thus you'll arrive at 22,000 telephone poles an hour, and from that you will make unequal payments for something that was once mentioned to be free but can never be...can't you see, oh can't you see, what that bad goat...been doin' to me?
So,there is no how i am going to leave you to take care of this methed up dream alone but we have to share it disproportionally; I plan to pay mine in simulated gold plated llama droppings and send the receipt to you which you will confirm from the Identifying Scat For Dummies book I'll also enclose, then contribute yours please. If you want to gold plate yak scat this is okay. As they are prepared to start coming by tomorrow -- their foreplay takes way longer than mine did -- they are demanding for any of your identifications which they will use to recognize you as the somberoed college student that did unspeakable things to an alpaca at last year's Sprung Break on the Golan Heights Llamas Gone Wild video.
Now the disclaimer requires that you enclose the following informations:
Your full name without selfies.........
Home address vs work something else..........
Telephone number (don't be a smartass on this, give us all ten of them in order).......
Passport, Glen Livet, Crown Royal or Boone's Farm Ripple...................
Nationality only when you're sober..............
Send it and respond immediately so that we don't have a chance to respond before you respond which should throw a monkey in the works, and they start coming or at least breathing hard without further delay.
Now,the good news is that i have finally succeeded in sodomizing a harbor seal named Winkee and that saved me 15% with Geico. Yes, I know that this sounds so wrong, but I don't have a problem pronouncing the letter "L" so just to proove your thoughts wrong. This is as a result of where the Diplomatic Service Courier Company is having the Regional Deposit Centres in major harbors where the seals are in approval.
You can now see that i am a very sick, twisted and perverted person for any blindly stupid person to partner with because i never let go and never allows my parts or roles to be messed up. I may get messed up and sodomize a Yugo exhaust pipe on Allah's day of fouling his turban with pelican shit 'cuz he chose a harbor full of them to walk through, but my real fear that i am having now is that i do not know if you will betray me to PETA at last or will publish this email all over internet with my selfie taken when I did the harbor seal.
Finally, you should not alow the diplomat to know that the content of the consignment will blow up and throw rancid coleslaw all over him and a full city block. Call me immediately you receive this mail with my new line +22893664679
Yours while masturbating a goat,
Mr Momoh Lawson
The sad news...Momoh won't have speaks with me no mores. He won't even congratulate me on this being post #1100 (though, he sent this email to another of my accounts...more to come on that).
But I think I pissed PETA off....
..so this is for them ;-)