Not Very Perswedish
Just the scams that invoke them.
I responded to one of the shorter email scams I've received of late with a short reply that mixed headlines and "don't play well with others" apparently most effectively.
On this one that was all it took.
Now heretofore or any other time on the clock, I'd never before heard of Birgit Rausing. That photo up thar -- while it came with the email -- isn't of her. It's one of the Walton famdamily, from one of those scams.
No, the actual Birgit Rausing looks more like this h'yar:
In any event, some twatwaffle is invoking a Swede allegedly worth $13 BILLION to entice me with a scam that has one of the shorter opening salvos I've seen. Here 'tis:.
Beloved, my name is Birgit Rausing, 91 Years Old Widow. I am donating $3,500,000.00 to you as charity because of my ailment which is going to cut my life short soon. Kindly read about me on www.forbes.com/profile/birgit-rausing and email me (email@example.com)
Hmmm. Of COURSE some Swedish octogenarian plus is going to arbitrarily pick ME -- or rather my character -- out of BILLYUNS of souls from across the galactic planetary h'yar to give $3.5 million to. 'She' mighta thunk I needed the help supporting a pet rock that's older than her.
At any rate, my reply wasn't as short, but I rather suspect that the tone of it would be perhaps a bit off-putting to ol' Birgit, who can't even keep her age straight (the real one is 95 or so):
A most fascinating read...*yawn* Did you really make all that money as a high priced hooker on Madison Avenue? Wowzers. You'd of really cleaned house if you'd waited to join the feminincompoop slut walk for embitterment they just held. Mebbe you're not too late....BTW, at 91, I'd call semantics on your use of "cut your life short soon". You might look into getting a better proofreader along with a better botox deliverer. For a fee, I'm available for the former.
Available I may be, but I abruptly lost my arbitrary selection for instant millionairehood:
Was that you or the horse you photo shopped in on?
...I guess I'll have to reckon that it was the horse...