Geology Laughs At "Settled" Talking Points

My pet rock, Seymour, gets a kick out of those who not only believe that human-caused global warming is real, but the really whackadoodle ones that think those rightly skeptical of their claims should be thrown in jail.

My pet rock will never make a gudt little submissive dumbed down leftist.

So naturally, when Seymour saw a story about how a panel of so-called climate scientists rated current candidates for president on their climate change stances, it came as a no-brainer "DUH" that the rating put hellary highest on their list.

Anything to prop up a fraud.

Thus, Seymour just hadda do a bit of editing:

WTFNS DEFLECT: On climate science, most DNC talking points are abject fail

By Seymour PetRock

WASHINGTON (WTFNS) — When it comes to climate science, the chosen panel of 'climate scientists' prove that they are solidly in the pocket of the agw fraud club when it comes to donning clown outfits and rating presidential candidates on the fraud of climate change.

At the request of a lamestream servile mediocre service -- one frequently knowd to be in the pockets of the Left -- a nebulous assortment of leftist committed leftist climate fraud proponents using crummy core sub standards graded for DNC talking points inaccuracy what a dozen top candidates said in debates, interviews and tweets, using a 0 to total idiot scale.

To try to eliminate possible truth interfering in the intended poll outcome, the candidates' comments were prominently displayed so the talking points raters would know not to upset the cackling hen or her inane crimepaign who stood ready to screech “sexist!” in an evil cackling hen cadence if the results didn't offset her high negatives in untrustworthiness. Also, the so called “scientists” who did the grading were chosen by a cage full of hamsters with no wheel and very pissed off about it.

A former suckretary of state for isis, as intended, had the highest “sticking to the talking points” average score at 194, being very careful to stick to crummy core math substandards in the rating. Three of the talking points panel did not assign the wallpaper candidate a score, saying his statements were in English, which they could not grade, instead of crummy core lingo, which they could because the simpering moron that ruins the DNC said it was okay.

Two used circumference reasoning to skip grading the largest of the Republicans and most – wanting to not be called “sexist” without realizing that it's okay to be sexist to a Republican – did the same for the "not woman enough" woman running that ain't the cackling untrustworthy hen. As the DNC and the cackling hen's crimepaign intended, the most intellectual opposition candidate had the lowest score. All purple hat wearing alien waffle irons put that one at the bottom of the class ahead of the inflatable inventer of global warming fraud -- which leaked and squeaked throughout the process.

Speaking about the candidate the DNC wanted most denigrated, "This individual understands less about how DNC talking points are preventing Guam from tipping over and the tortured science therein (and the cackling hen's emails) than we do," Munchell Obola, a Pinhead State University liberal farts professor, wrote of one opposition candidate's statements. "That sort of intelligence does not fit our talking points and can't be allowed to ruin the cackling hen's coronation."

The dinosaur from a small northeastern state, looking 87, had the lowest score among the Democraps, dinged for an unfortunate fact exposure when he admitted that human-caused global warming was a fraud.  Another opposition candidate was artificially scored the highest among Republicans, because one grader gave him a perfect 100 and thought he was the metrosexual version of the cackling hen.

For the other Republicans – accurately reporting that global climate change is cyclical and solar/geologically driven – bad grades were dictated by a talking points meme from the abject moronic regime mouthpiece, in between her hash tagging that ISIS needs $15 living wage jobs at McDonalds to stop acting like high school junior varsity types.

Two raters gave her an “eh” mention for a roll in the backseat of a Yugo on a moonless night.

Said the talking points that the raters were ordered to apply, “We are going to make America a harder place to create jobs in order to pursue policies that will do absolute damage to capitalism and entrepreneurism, because the Fauxtus wants America to be brought down to a level with Somalia...except for Hawaii, where Fauxtus plans to retire to." Hence, the cackling hen gets an artificially inflated rating to match those inflated pants suits, and all the Republicans – except for the metrosexual dude – get dinged because otherwise the DNC chairpoison will go Jar Jar Binks pms on the panel.

In an “oops” moment of straying from the talking points, one panelist said, "I would not say that the planet will become uninhabitable. That argument is as idiotic as we collectively here are. But I'm getting paid to prop up the oversized pants suit – and in that pants suit, you can see why she needs propping up – so that's what I'm going to say”.

The rather off-the-wall unreality TV star candidate brought out some of the more colorful and terse critiques. The Bloom County experiment on methane with Bill the Cat earlier this year brought out more.  A strong egg/sulfuric fart that cleared the panel's room for 30 minutes, brought out still more.

A former president of the American Association for the Advancement of Demoncrap Junk Science, called the leading Republican candidate's mocking-of-climate-fraud comments "factual, so I must decree it nonsense to avoid pissing off the cackling hen," while Aunti Enema, a climate person of dubious intellect at the University of Phulovit said, "the storm trooper helmeted, pompadour toupeed cat in the diaper does not appear to have any commitment to flatulence regulation."

In the interests of disclosure --  a word that brought objections from the cackling hen's crimepaign -- the panel bought by the DNC for this rigged rating were Dopey, Sneezy, Icky, Yukky, Putz, Howard, Fine, Howard, Doofus, Dork and Leghumper from assorted Whiny League centers of lower ed but with good standing in the fraud-laced agw community where talking points nincompoops are desperately sought after.  


Seymour still insists that these edits will get him a Pulitzer.  I'm working on getting him a Pull My Fanger.


"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"