Get A Job

Not that the clown pictured h'yar can handle the one he's had via deceit since '09.  But I digress.

Anuddah Middle Eastern country has sent my character anuddah employment recruiting scam email.  It actually don't sound all that bad, save for the fact that it's in the Middle East, a good part of which King Putt (pictured h'yar) and his two idiot suckretaries of state have jacked up thanks to their misdysplomacy.

And...save for the fact that it's a scam.

Here's the ploy:

ENG, MR.RAINER HOH.
Capital Oil & Gas Constructions LLC
Sector 15A Street 16, Mussfah West 5. Musaffah, GOLDEN TOWER Abu
Dhabi,  United Arab Emirates
United Arab Emirates.
Direct line: +971551193705
E-mail : INFO.CAPITALOILANDGASCONSTRUCTIONS@qualityservice.com

Capital Oil & Gas Constructions LLC Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirate
Recruiting for employment.
Below are the current and available positions where candidates are needed,

1. Petroleum Engineering
2. Civil Engineering
3. QA/QC Engineer
4. Architectural Engineering
5. Marine Engineering
6. Mechanical Engineering
7. Electrical Engineering
8.  Electronics-Telecommunication Engineering
9.  Surveying Engineer
10. Petroleum Engineer
11. Business development manager
12. Project Managers
13. Site Engineers
14. Auto Cad Engineer/Draftsman
15. Accountants
16. Piping Engineer
17. HR Personnel
18. Document controllers
19. Logistic/warehousing
20. Emergency Nurse/Doctor
21. Safety,HSE/Risk/Security officers
22. Panning Engineer
23. Geophysicist
24. Marketer

PROJECT SHALL REQUIRE:

A cooperate project management
team,engineering,procurement,construction,transportation and
installation, safety, drawing, Designs,Geological
services,maintenance,financial,business developing and commissioning.
Entitlement, Compensation and Benefits packages include:A very
attractive net salary paid in US$, AED, Sterling or Euros equivalent
depending on, employee home country and currency preference.
. Quality single or family housing accommodation in company community.
. Free medical care in UAE for employee and family.
. Excellent educational assistance benefits with family status employment.
. Paid airfares allowing full flexibility with holiday travel.
. Personal effects shipment and excess baggage allowances.
. Full access to some of the finest and social recreational facilities in UAE.

CONTRACT DURATION:

24 Months, (Two Year) and renewable only on satisfactory performance
by employee.
Good luck! as you take steps to the right path in building your career.

Regards:
ENG, MR.RAINER HOH.
Capital Oil & Gas Constructions LLC
EMPLOYMENT PROCESSING  MANAGER
Direct line: +971551193705
Email: INFO.CAPITALOILANDGASCONSTRUCTIONS@qualityservice.com

 

 

Since my pet rock is just back from his latest travel adventures, I'll let the character that received this email scam handle the edit: 

  On Saturday, October 10, 2015 6:53 PM, CAPIDULL OIL & GAS FARTERS LLC <adamssamantha91@gmail.com> turned recruiting over to a hellary supporting goat which wrote: 

ENG. MRS RAINDEER ABBA DABBA OOBADOOBA
Capidull Oil & Gas Farters LLC
Sector 15A Street 16, Mussfah West 5. Musaffah, GOLDEN TOWER Abu
Dhabi,  United Arab Emirates
United Arab Emirates.
Direct line: +971551193705
E-mail : INFO.CAPITALOILANDGASCONSTRUCTIONS@qualityservice.com

Capidull Oil & Gas Farters LLC Abu Dhabi United Arab Emirate
Recruiting for emitters, spitters and sh**ters...

Below are the current and available positions where candidates is needed but not likely to be found since we sent this to picked democrap voting districts, including cemeteries:

 

"Pick me, pick me!"

1. Petroleum Jelly
2. Civil Enema Application
3. WTF Engineer
4. Architectural Arghriculturalist
5. Hamster Power Engineer
6. Mechanical Goat Interpretation
7. 72 Virgin Whispering
8.  Electronics-Fixing Etchosketches
9.  Surveying Sand
10. Petroleum Jelly II
11. Business Ideas Manager for Harnessing Goat Farts for IEDs
12. Dildo Managers
13. Smell Engineers
14. Expert Cads of any kind
15. Nerdy Bean counters
16. Goat Entertainer (Good at blowing things)
17. HR Personnel
18. Document controllers
19. Applying Logic to Goat Flatulence
20. Emergency Nurse/Vet
21. Safety,HSE/Risk/Security officers need not apply
22. Sex Toy Engineer
23. Geogenitalist
24. Mouseketer

PROJECT SHALL REQUIRE:

A collection of reprobates, misfits, demoncraps from the Demoncrap National Committee, #goatlivesmatter activists, and some Middle Eastern perverts that do goats.

 

 

Entitlement, Compensation and Benefits packages include:  A very attractive net salary paid in allowing employees to pillage and loot monthly in Burntimore and all the toilet paper they can carry.

 

. Quality single or family tent in a sand blown environment including free ranging camels.
. Free medical care in UAE for goats; humans have to take obolascare.
. Excellent dumbed down educational dysfunction since you need to be an idiot to apply.
. Paid airfares complete with lost luggage.
. Personal effects shipment to your next of ken or barbie.
. Full access to some of the finest social goat and camel recreational facilities in UAE.

CONTRACT DURATION:

24 Months as computed in Commie Core math (two Julian calendar years or next May which ever comes or breathes hard first) and renewable only on the next February 30th.
Good luck! as you fake steps to avoid this sh*t and keep your unemployment benefits as long as possible.

Regards:
ENG. MRS.RAINDEER HO.
Capidull Oil & Gas Farters LLC
GOAT PROPAGATION PROCESSING  MISMANAGER

 Direct line: +971551193705
Email: INFO.CAPITALOILANDGASCONSTRUCTIONS@qualityservice.com

The edit apparently unimpressed someone on the other end of the email, sorta:

 

you not funny man  

 

 

You're right...if I were funny man you'd have had to pay to receive this.  For you, I dun it for free.  Aren't you blessed?  

 

 

From the silence since this reply, I reckon he don't feel blessed...