Anything Goes In Scamland

I suppose even 'that' would go over in Scamland.

Just not at the polls. 

Curious emails out of Canada these days.  I guess they need some relief from the socialist drive to kill them all with "life-saving" vaxxes that are worse than the disease.

So I get just such an email from some clown named....Godswill.

Uh huh.

Take a gander:

This funds are already in Canada,
My name is God'swill Kietha
and i am the  only child of Chief James Kietha a rich and famous man who
died Febuary 17th  2020, I am 17 years old,after his death wediscovered he had large sum of money now we have been able to have access to this bank but i cannot collect this money until when i am 21years old but can get someone who will be able to receive this money for investment and help us to build our lives again,
This is strictly bank to bank transaction I will be very glad if you can accept this offer as we will work together to acheive success

Please kindly respond for further details
Looking forward to hearing from you
Regards
Godswill

I'm sure this email makes everyone want to jump right up and get on board.

*crickets*

But my 'editing gone wild' pet rock, Seymour...he has a much different take on how this email should be handled:

From: joshua.halford@cathedralgreenwave.com <joshua.halford@cathedralgreenwave.com>
Sent: Thursday, September 30, 2021 8:09 PM
Subject:

 

Yes, we do sh*t like this in Canada all the time.

Comes from drunken frat parties where we sneak up on and bone moose before they can turn and stomp the sh*t out of us, but I digress.

My name is God'swill Kietha and i am the only child of Chief James Kietha, lowlife pervert who wasn't faster than the moose he tried to cornhole in Febuary 17th 2020.  His death was ruled a COVID, even after all the moose tracks that had stomped a mud hole through him.

So at an early age, I am 17 years old, after his death I discovered that he'd arranged a marriage of convenience for me with a real...well...just take a look:

So now I am holding a raffle and am donating my wife as the top prize.

If you wonder why, you deserve to win her.

Tribal law sez that I formally can't divorce her until when i am 21years old but I can't wait that long.

I want one of these:

What I do NOT want is one of these:

I think I deserve one of these:

And definitely NOT one of these:

So...after carefully perusing the internet and having read every last etched message in the bark of the tree that folks hereabout use as a dunny, I have selected YOU

to receive this prize (the former one, NOT the latter one).

As beeyotches go, she's a doozie.  A badder beeyotch you'll not soon or perhaps ever find, unless you marry something like Hellary or maligNANCY.

If you accidentally do, I'd suggest a bucket of water or run before the house falls on her.

You help me and I'll reciprocate in my next life, I promise.

Oh, and this raffle/donation is 100% no anything back guarantee.  I've heard enough of her shit.  Your turn.

I will be very glad if you can accept this offer because no one in my fly-infested internet cafe believes that anyone will go for this.

Except for maybe Bill Clinton...he'll do anything.

Please kindly respond for further details
Looking forward to hearing from you.  Absolutely ANYTHING.
Regards
Godswill

It should come as little surprise that the originating scammer had nothing to offer in terms of follow up.

My other editing gone wild pet rock, Element, however did:  Seymour's sleeping on the couch.

"Am NOT!!!  PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!"