An Edited Koch Up

The Brits have a phrase when something's messed up; they call it a cock up.

We be close.

I just got an email from a dude claiming to be Charles Koch, offering me money from his late brother, David Hamilton Koch.

That feller pictured here is Charles.

He ain't really who emailed me.  The emailer just claimed to be him.  This, I reckon, is why Charles is laughing.

Yawp.

Here's the short and unsweetened ploy:

Hi, My name is Mr. Charles Koch, an elder brother to the late Mr. David Hamilton Koch a philanthropist and the founder of Koch Industries, one of the largest private foundations in the world. Mr. David Hamilton Koch believed strongly in giving while living and had one idea that never changed in his mind, that you should use your wealth to help people and he decided to give USD2,000,000.00 Million Dollars to randomly selected individuals worldwide before his death on the 23rd of August 2019.

On receipt of this email, you should count yourself as the lucky individual. Kindly get back to me at your earliest convenience, so that I will know your email address is valid. Email me at (charleskoc54@gmail.com) you can also visit the web page of late Mr. David Hamilton Koch to know more about the Hamilton Foundation and this grant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_H._Koch

Regards,
Mr. Charles Koch.  

Nice, huh?  More *rich* folk wanting to give me money.

*snort*

My pet rock, Seymour, was in a mood of sorts, and letting him have at this edit seemed to snap him deeper into it:

From: Mr. Charles Jacob Tallywhacker Koch <charleskoch6015@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, July 23, 2021 9:26 PM
Subject: Damnation Information!! 

Hi, My name is Charles Jacob Tallywhacker Koch and that's your name too.  Whenever you go out, and try to f**k a trout, Charles Jacob Tallywhacker Koch tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...*repeat*

This musical abomination is brought to you by an elder brother to the late Mr. David Hamilton Vaginal-Koch, a philanderer that lost and then flounder when he cleaned out the closet.  What he flounded was all the missing socks his laundry sock monster had made disappear over thirty years of never having cleaned out that closet.

He couldn't wait to see what he'd find when he cleaned out the basement and garage, but he died of painful rectal itch before he could accomplish these twin aimlesses.  His death by Burmese python attack while attending a vuvuzela'd soccer match in Southampton was credited to COVID 19 so his local horsepiddal could cash in on misplaced taxpayer funds.

This misinformation was first reported by cnn and re-reposted on fecesbook, twerper, and circled back to by Bidumb's press suckretary, Jen Psuki, for which she's nominated for an Oscar Meyer which she appears getting back-ended by just now.

As one of the largest primate gender reassignment foundations in the world, Mr. David Hamilton Vaginal-Koch believed strongly in expanding gender choices beyond two primary and 57 or so mental illness categories, and this was one of many idiotic ideas he concocted that never changed in his mind.

Strange dude who died believing himself to be a herself gender-shape-shifting octosexual orthopod marijuana bong device.

And with that he died when his plane crashed into an oxcart, attributed to COVID delta version by Dr. Fauxci, the cnn moron of dubious doctoralcedence.

On receipt of this email, you should count yourself several times when voting for acquitting who hit Annie in the fanny with a flounder, which is the way he left her, fish imprint and all.  Kindly get back to me at your earliest convenience, so that I will know your email address is that of a certified twatwaffle.

 Email me at (charleskoc54@gmail.com) you can also visit the web page of late Mr. David Hamilton Vaginal-Koch to know more about how COVID's next variant -- Bidumb painful rectal itch -- is an up and coming, you know, the thing, with the stammering nincompoops at the CDC, DNC and cnn. 

Internet fraud - Wikipedia

Internet fraud - Wikipedia Internet fraud is a type of cybercrime fraud or deception which makes use of the Internet and could involve hiding of information or providing incorrect information for the purpose of tricking victims out of money, property, and inheritance. Internet fraud is not considered a single, distinctive crime but covers a range of illegal and illicit actions that are committed in cyberspace. en.wikipedia.org

NOTE:  Ignore the link behind the green curtain, and just tap your heels together three times, repeating Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill hisself

Regards,
Charles Jacob Tallywhacker Koch and that's your name too...

Now, had this been an actual email from the aforementioned Koch bro', Seymour just scotched my millions in largess.

"PHFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!! Did NOT!!!!"

However, since I have more than a few wee billion modicums of doubt about the originating source, I tend to endorse Seymour's 'pet rock gone wild' edit.