Another Scam FBI Try

Sending me scam emails purporting to be from the FBI is kinda like the scammer choosing to shoot hisself in the foot.

At least as far as effective results go.

Still, it amuses me each and every time they try.

They don't get any better at it...but still they try.

See if you can pick up on the obvious *FAIL*s to be found in this email:

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Anti-Terrorist and Monitory Crime Division

Attention!

Series of meetings has been held the past 2 months with the secretary general of the United Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago. It is obvious that you have not received your fund which is to the tune of $ 7,500,000.00 due Past corrupt Governmental Officials who almost held the fund to themselves for their selfish reason and some individuals who has taken advantage of your fund all in an attempt to swindle your fund which has led to so many losses from your end and elimination delay in the receipt.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol enhanced by the United Nations and Federal Bureau of Investigation has passed a ruling to the president of United States  President Joe Biden to boost the exercise of clearing all foreign debts owed to you and other individuals and organizations Who have been found not to have receive their Contract Sum, Lottery / Gambling, Inheritance and the likes.

Now an arrangement has been made which indicate that you will be paid by ATM card or Bank Draft.

Because we have signed a contract with FedEx which should expire by July 30th 2021, you will only need to pay $ 350 instead of $ 750 saving you $ 400 if you pay before July 30th 2021.

Note: Everything has been taken care of by the United States Government, The United Nation and the FBI, including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you need to pay is $ 350.

To have the release of your fund valued at $ 7,500,000.00 you are advised to contact our correspondent delivery officer Mr. Joseph Moore with the information below.

Mr. Joseph Moore
Tel: +1 (805)-420-3011

Your full Name:
Your Address:
Home / Cell Phone:

Yours sincerely,

Mrs. Sarah C. Robert   

I know'd you'd see the problems immediately.

Perhaps they were able to see the problems in the edit I sent back to them and fifty-plus of their friends and colleagues:

From: Mrs. Sarah C. Robert
Sent: Friday, July 9, 2021 11:01 AM
Subject: Good News === The FBI Found Your Genitals

 

Federal Bureau of Investigation
Missing Genitals Retrieval Division

Attention!

We bet you didn't know we had a division specializing in this, did you?  Well, since Bedraggled Obola ruined the FBI during his leftist regime from 2009-2017, we had to come up with a few new gigs, and this was one of 'em.

Nifty, huh?

Wayne Bobbitt coulda used us back in the day, eh?

Granted, that ain't all we do...sometimes we do things that are actually useful, like investigate the survivability of Spam when subjected to a nuclear fart, and the criminal inclinations of persons born during the one-day-every-four-years anomaly know'd as the 13th Astrological Sign phenom, aka being born under the sign of Gorkus.  It only comes around on February 29th in a leap year, and the sign is represented by two buzzards colliding in mid-air.  Needless to say, folks born in that narrow winder every four years...have a tendency to be pretty star-crossed and philosophically f**ked up.

That's why we investigate 'em.

More recently there was a series of meetings has been held the past 2 months with the suckretary genital of the Eunuched Nations Organization. This ended 3 days ago....the meetings, not the organization, though anything that starts with Eunuched in the title probably shouldn't last more than the length of a hummingbird fart. 

At any rate, it became oblivious to us that you have not received any notification of any of the aforementioned sh*t due to past corrupt Democrap officials who wouldn't know honesty if it bit them in their oversized asses.  They'd swindle their own mothers if they knew who and what gender they were.

The National Central Bureau of Interpol was throw'd in h'yar along with the Eunuched Nations and what's left of our FBI, and with the DNC -- aided by fake news reporting by cnn, the leader in fake news --  has passed a ruling that the current oblivious-to-reality president of United States Joe Bidumb is required to remove his head from his ass before his next appearance in front of cameras, so perhaps we'll be able to understand if he says what we coached him to say about anything whatsoever.

It's a stretch to expect that, but meh...it's every bit as believable as an email from the Nigerian Illuminincompoops.

Of course, with all the money we've spent trying to buy votes and such, you will only need to pay $ 350 instead of $ 750 saving you $ 400 if you pay before July 30th 2021.

Note:  After July 30th if you ain't paid, we also get all of your virgin daughters for Bidumb to sniff and feel up.  So mebbe you're incentivized to pay $ 350 beFORE July 30.

Contact the abject schmuck below and he'll try his worst to f**k you over:

Mr. Joseph Moore
Tel: +1 (805)-420-3011

Your full Name:
Your Address:
Home / Cell Phone:
He's every bit as credible as Peter Strzok.

Good luck Twatwaffle,

Mrs. Sarah C. Robert

Like so many of the fbi-esque scams, this one didn't get a response from the originating scammer.  Or any of the notables therein.  Not even from anyone born on February 29th.

My pet rock, Seymour, was betting that someone with that birthday would chime in...