Skunkfeathers: Air Cleveland Looted and Pooted

Scammers that use the airport/diplomatic pouch ploy really REALLY should watch the movie Airplane, first.

Buuuut...they don't.

Witness this scammer trying to use Cleveland Hopkins Airport as their vehicle to give me the business:

I am Eileen Taylor, director of operations Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, Ohio. USA, a consignment registered in your name and address have been abandoned in our facility, please contact the delivery department via the details below as soon as possible so you can get your consignment:

Contact Person: Rami Homeidan

Phone number: +1 440 379 0919

Email Address: Cleveland.Hopkins@diplomats.com

In a previous career which seems a lifetime ago, I once flew into Cleveland. Once.

I remembered enough to make use of it in reply:

I got nothing coming from or flying into Cleveland. If I did, it'd be looted soon as the plane parked.

The scammer clearly doesn't get it:

Your consignment is in the airport facility. You have only to contact Rami Homeidan soonest to complete your delivery.

Second verse, same as the first:

I got nothing coming from or flying into Cleveland. If I did, it'd be looted soon as the plane parked.

Your consignment is at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, Ohio. USA, that is why we are contacting youmsend in your details as requested

Again, I have nothing scheduled to Cleveland airport. If I did, it would have been looted the moment the plane landed. Perhaps even the plane would have been looted. It might just be an air frame with things dangling from the wings where the engines used to be. Looters are pretty quick and thorough in Cleveland. Almost as fast as those in Portland.

What are you talking about if you follow our instruction your consignment is there no more delay please.

Looters in Cleveland are faster than piranha. I once had a pet chicken fly through Cleveland's airport...looters stole all his feathers!

are you follow our instructions or not?

In the time it's taken you to repeat your instructions the entire airport has been looted, stripped and cannibalized. Even the very bad Taco Bell franchise therein hasn't a taco shell left for a malevolent employee to lick and post their doing it on instagram. You should have picked a better airport. The one Dean Martin landed at after he knocked up the flight attendant and she almost got blow'd up by Van Heflin. I think the runways are still in place at that one, unless Bad Lies Matter has looted that too. Better hurry...airports are running out here.