Ettu or Et You?

I get the impression that scammers from West Africa don't like it when my pet rock, Seymour, edits them in this particular manner.

To their further chagrin, Seymour doesn't seem to care.

"Don't!!!  PHFFFFFFTTT!"

Here's what Seymour did to another "dying inheritance" scammer from that neck of the woild:


ATTENTION PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
THIS MESSAGE IS COMING TO YOU FROM
HOSPITAL YALGADOGO BURKINA FASO

I apologize for interfering into your privacy and also forgive me for
stressing you with my predicaments as I know that this letter may come
to you as big surprise. Actually, I came across your E-mail from my
personal search afterward I decided to email you directly believing
that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before i die. my name
Mr. Davi Williams 52 years old, from FRANCIS, I lost my wife and my four
year old son the year 2012, The shock of the death of my only child
and my wife made me become a high blood pressure patient
(HBP).

I am also suffering from a long time cancer and from all indication
my condition is really deteriorating as my doctors have confirmed and
courageously advised me that I may not live beyond a month from now
for the reason that my tumor has reached a critical stage which has
defiled all forms of medical treatment. Before this sickness came to
my life i was dealing on Gold Dust and Gold Dory Bars in Burkina Faso
till my sudden illness paralyze me here in the hospital, at this moment.

I have a total deposit sum of Nine million five hundred thousand US
dollars [$9,500,000.00] with one of the leading bank in Burkina Faso
but unfortunately I cannot visit the bank since I’m  critically sick
and powerless to do anything myself but my bank account officer
advised me to assign any of my trustworthy relative, friends or
partner with authorization letter to stand as the recipient of my
money but sorrowfully I don’t have any reliable relative and no child.

Therefore, I want you to receive the money and take 40% to take care
of yourself and family while 60% should be use basically on
humanitarian purposes mostly to orphanages home, Motherless babies
home, less privileged and disable citizens and widows.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall send you my pictures with full
contacts of my banking institution to communicate them on the matter.
Reply/respond through this my privet email
address:(mr.daviwilliams@yandex.com)

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours Faithfully,

Mr.Davi Williams


Mr. Williams did hear back from Seymour, but not in the way he'd hoped to:



From: Mr.Davi Willaims <mr.daviwilliams@yandex.com>
Sent: Saturday, October 19, 2019 7:31 AM
Subject: Hope to hear obscenities in Azerbaijani from you soon.

 

ATTENTION PLEASE READ CAREFULLY
THIS MESSAGE IS COMING TO YOU FROM
MENTAL HORSEPITAL YALGADOGO BURKINA

FATSO

Greetings and appetizers from Fine Young Cannibals Land!

Let me start by not apologizing for interfering into your privacy; as we

quickly learn here in Fine Young Cannibal Land, we don't gives a sea

side ph**k about anyone's privacy, primates, or privy.   

As for stressing you with my predicaments what are you, a snowflake

candyass?  I know that this letter may come to you as big surprise. Get

the ph**k over it and just listen, Plunger Lips:  I came across your E-mail

from the mental ward of the psychehat-trick horsepital my therapist

put me in after I cooked and ate his whole famdamily.  Yum.

I have you and yours on my menu next...Hannibal Lector ain't got

nuffin' on me, no sir no siree!  Anywarts, I decided to email you believing
that you will be dumb as a door knob to fulfill my final wish before i

have myself sauteed and intravenously fed to myself because I am always

looking for weird food fetishes and I think eating myself intravenously will

rock the Cable Food Network in total awesomeness.

My name Mr. Davi Williams 52 years old, from FRANCIS, a country in

the EU which stands loosely for Eununchpean Union.  I lost my wife and

my four year old son the year 2018 as a burrito supreme.  This made me

a sous chef at a KFC in Burkina Fatso.

And they thought I was serving the Colonel's secret recipe.  Hooha.

I am also suffering from a long time gastro-intestinal distension of the

onyx and from all indication my condition is really deteriorating as my

flatulence gets ever more vile and violent.  That's why I'll have to feed

myself to me intravenously.  Also, I heard that AOC supporters are

demanding people eat people to save the planet from climate disorders

like AOC and all of the DNC candidates for president.

I don't think climate is their problem...more like a lack of anything useful

between the ears.

 My need for self-appetizing has reached a critical stage which has
defiled all forms of mental treatment, pretty much like Lizzie Warren's

quest to be 1/1024 president as Chief Lieawatha. Before this sickness

came to the entire DNC someone in the basement dispensary there

was selling meth disguised as Gold Dust and Gold Dory Bars in Burkina

Fatso.

They made enough from it at Antifa gatherings to be able to pay for

all the illegals from Central America to come deposit their feces on

the streets of San Crapcisco.  Such are the workings and priorities of

the DNC.

Ewwww.

Not sure how this would work, but I want you to help me with my

intravenous self-devouring so that AOC can lay some bizarre claim

about having saved the planet from AlGore's man-bear-pig character

 on South Park so she can go on to a successful career as a drug-using

bar tender at a dive bar in Manhattan.  Anything else is a reach for her

and she knows it.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall send you my pictures with full
dietary and culinary graphics to communicate them on the matter.
Reply/respond through this my privet email
address:(mr.daviwilliams@yandex.com)

Hope to hear from you soonest if not soonerer.

Mr.Davi Williams

author of

A Guide To Self-Ingestion

The actual scammer didn't see much daylight here for further repartee, but another scammer that received the edit was more nonplussed:

WHY??????  


It's what's cooking in your world.  That's why.  


Seymour runs off another one...