Some Scammers Have Sensitive Feelings

Oddball would be right at home on college campuses; he knowd that some people have sensitive feelings.

Scammers too.

Witness the following exchange between my character and one Ngui Karen:

It's a great pleasure connecting with you via your email, I am Mrs. Karen Ngui Group managing director and head of group strategic, marketing & Communications at the DBS Bank. I am contacting you concerning an abandoned sum of $25,512,000.00 USD that will be beneficial to both of us.

The said funds belong to my late client who died with the entire family in an auto crash along with his family at France while on sabbatical in the summer of 2008, may their soul rest in peace. He died without leaving a Will and several efforts were made to find his extended family through your embassy without success. Our dear client died with no known or identifiable family member and bank want to confiscate his fund as unclaimed bill.

The reason for my being in contact with you is to seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of my late client since you share the same last name, I am prepared to give the necessary details as the closest surviving relation of our deceased customer (Mr. Max Ewehoff), i am also proposing that after a successful execution of the business deal the funds will be shared in the ratio 40/60, you will get 40% and I will be entitled to 60% as the initiator of the deal. You know that I must have done my homework already before contacting you.

Although the project is intensive, I know I will be able to pull it through following proper banking and legal Channels with your assistance at your end. I will tidy up the legal aspect with the assistance of a lawyer who will prepare all the documents that will be needed to transfer the money to you.

Once more, I ask that if you find no interest in this project Please discard this mail and forget I ever contacted you, I ask that you do not be vindictive and destructive; do not destroy my career. Opportunities like this only come once in a lifetime. I would want you to think about this and let me know your decision.

If you give me a positive response, I will give you the relevant INFORMATION for the successful transfer of these funds and will initiate this process towards a conclusion so we both enjoy it in peace.

l await your positive response  


Not sure if my response was positive or not:


Positive.  


Thank you for your response to my email and your willingness to partner me in this endeavor, considering the money involved, and due to the nature of this transaction, I will want us to be 100% honest with each other so we can achieve the main goal.I want to be sure that you are ready to execute this transaction with me and what I expect from you is trust and commitment. I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance and you should have nothing to worry about regarding legality AT ALL, because what affects you? Shall also affects me too so therefore i am giving you my word, you should not have anything to worry about, I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking and I know that if we follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 7 working days.

  I will contact an attorney who will prepare the necessary Affidavits which shall put you in place as beneficiary, he will obtain the necessary clearances from the respective authorities in Hong Kong which will cover all the aspects involved in this transaction. First, you are required to send a copy of your Driver's License, Work ID or your International Passport. It is this copy of your Driver's License or International Passport or Work ID that will be used by the Attorney to have all the necessary documentations perfected and to build a trustworthy relationship between the both of us, I will be sending you my ID as well.

  The attorney shall be handling all matters of probate on your behalf, he will have all the documents perfected, and with these documents, you shall write to my bank to apply for the immediate release and transfer of your funds to your designated choice of bank. I have been a banker for many years and I know perfectly how the system works.

When I receive your documents/details I shall begin the necessary paperwork.

I await your timely response to this.  

Just make sure that your chosen attorney is not Azerbaijani.  I had a bad experience with one.  

you have no reason to worry we are using an attorney who will not make any mistakes as we would like to enjoy the proceeds we make from this upon completion.

As soon as your valid means if Identification is received i will proceed to sending you my documents and then sending over all necessary pieces of information to the attorney who will start documentation process as soon as possible.  

...and she followed up with this:

you have no reason to worry we are using an attorney who will not make any mistakes as we would like to enjoy the proceeds we make from this upon completion.

As soon as your valid means if Identification is received i will proceed to sending you my documents and then sending over all necessary pieces of information to the attorney who will start documentation process as soon as possible.

Mrs Karen Ngui

Group ~ Managing Director  

...such sleazy assurances from scammers always seem to fail to assure me:

You're correct.  I have no reason to worry.  I saved a bunch of money by switching a gecko.  For a komodo...dragon.  

...she didn't get that one:

Without delays, if you want us to proceed do send a copy of your valid means of identification.   


In this age of rampant online ID theft, I am very careful about sending my ID online. Have your chosen attorney contact me and he can provide me a secure address that I will send it to him via certified mail.  


Suddenly, her tone changes:


what is it you mean by that?  

You are literate, correct?  In this age of rampant online ID theft, I am very careful about sending my ID online. Have your chosen attorney contact me and he can provide me a secure address that I will send it to him via certified mail.  


Her reply provides proof that not all liberal snowflakes are on college campuses, at the DNC and on cnn:

i am not here for you ID i guess we cant work together as i feel insulted  


Amused by that, my character clearly demonstrated why he'll never get a job with the State Department:


You feel insulted over my previous reply???
What are you, a wimpy snowflake?
If you're that big a crybaby candyass, you're right...we can't work together.
I do deals with adults, not simpering immatures.  Stop acting like a democrat and grow up.  


That didn't go over well:


how dares you say that to me?  we are done.  stop contact me.


I dares, I dares.  cnn probably needs a super wimp like you for some hour-long 'cry along with Chelsea Handler' or some abject nonsense like that.  You'd be good at that...not for much else, but good at that.  I'll give you a reference.


I guess Ngui Karen won't be asking for my character's referral anytime soon...